


The Flame that Warms but does not Burn

by skreaver



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Bullying, Cunnilingus, F/M, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Masturbation, NSFW, Normie Shuichi, Other, POV Saihara Shuichi, Pegging, Pre-Game Saihara Shuichi, blowjob, dark themes, foodplay, it's not 'eventual' anymore, parental neglect, the pegging has happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-05-23 08:36:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 49,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14930876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skreaver/pseuds/skreaver
Summary: Shuichi Saihara hasn't known love or acceptance since his parents passed away. His uncle is a tormentor and the kids at school are rotten in ways young adults should never be.So when he finds you, someone who doesn't push him away but embraces the awkward, borderline creep he's become - he's smitten.But will it last? Will you get rid of him in the end?  Or are you maybe just as broken?





	1. When Icarus meets the Sun

Shuichi Saihara had the opportunity to grow up to be something that all of his potential was worth. He was a smart young boy full of prospects and ideas but something kept getting in his way - the people around him. 

They were all the same, malicious and teasing - constantly dangling the affection and validation he so craved right in front of him, only to take it away again and again. People would extend their hands in a false display of friendship, offer him to sit with them at lunch only to dump trays of food over his head or humiliate him in other ways in front of his entire grade. In the beginning even in this kind of attention was something he craved and for a while he could trick himself into believing that even this kind of interaction could yield some affection. After all, they went through so much trouble just to tease him, right? Perhaps that meant they had some interest? The darker parts of Shuichi traded in rationale for favor of this line of thinking because it was so much less painful than the truth.

Of course, as time went on, the truth became something he couldn’t ignore. The pranks in the beginning were hurtful of course but they were nothing violent. They sunk into the small bits of his already miniscule and broken pride but he never left with bruises… but as the years went on he started to. The more Shuichi would smile in the face of their lesser teasings, trying to convince himself that this may as well have been the equivalent of a schoolyard boy picking on the girl he likes - a truly sickening concept to start with mind you - did he notice the more violent they would become.

It started in Junior year of middle school. One day the normal bully and his entourage of two cornered him in the empty hallway as he snuck off to the bathroom and knocked him around. He was shoved into walls, threatened to be pushed down the stairs and was even almost held captive inside a locker. His only saving grace was the bell. It was the first time he ever thanked a higher power, watching the bullies slink off after their beating.

But it got worse.

Soon he would actually experience real beatings, sometimes with blunt objects or other such weapons. This kind of attention Shuichi absolutely could not name as affection. He couldn’t, even in his most irrational thoughts, call this anything but it was - abuse. But after all these years he hadn’t the will to stand up to them, or the courage. He was powerless, truly a victim. Soon this started to become routine and Shuichi found ways to deal with it - after all this wasn’t the first time he’d experienced behavior like this. He found himself, like always, telling himself he deserved it because it hurt so much less than questioning why he was always treated like this.

Shuichi lost interest in trying to fool himself. Lost interest in trying to make friends or be anything than what he was meant to be - a plaything. A lesser human created to experience nothing but pain. It wasn’t like there was a way out anyhow, no matter how he looked for one. He became a person who always looked down, flinched at loud noises and spoke almost nothing except for the broken pleas his tormentors dragged out of him. He had given up on ever finding value in himself in other people.

At least… until a certain someone found his sights…

_ you. _

It was a few months into his freshman year of highschool and he often found that he heard your name in the whispers of the classroom. You were considered to be, in all bluntness, a freak. The other students spoke of you like they spoke of him but there was one major difference… people were  _ afraid  _ of you. Blind hope captured Shuichi’s heart and he wondered if maybe you were like him, just instead of caving in you were resilient and stood your ground and perhaps maybe, just maybe he might find companionship in you.

Soon enough Shuichi started following you around. His free period and trips to the bathroom were spent figuring out your schedule and where you liked to hang out. He memorized everything as he found it out and even though he never worked up the courage to talk to you, just watching you made him smitten. You were treated just like he was but in the face of it all you smiled something Shuichi could only describe as wicked and broke down your attackers with all of a single sentence.

In one such instance an older boy dumped his water on your head and you responded with-

“You can dump your drink on me but that’s not going to change how your dad dumped you off with your crack addict mother”

The ferocity in your eyes caused a much different reaction in your assailant than it would have if someone like him were to say such things. Instead of lashing out and threatening to beat you the boy did nothing more than yell at you through trembling fists before stomping off, tears collecting in his eyes.

In that moment Shuichi found himself truly overcome with adoration.

In another instance you had found his normal bullies - ones that followed him from middle school - picking on a young freshman and decided to say something.

“Hey, beating him up isn’t going to compensate for your anger issues. Maybe you should actually go to a therapist?”

Immediately the thrashing stopped and the head bully looked to you with a renewed sense of anger, furiosity brimming behind his eyes and in that instant Shuichi truly felt fear for you. He shook behind the wall and almost wanted to reach out and tell you to stop but his quaking legs held him captive.

“What the fuck did you just say? You wanna get beat too?” the bully stalked towards you fist clenched at his sides. 

You just… smiled, wicked and vengeful. “Come now, I don’t think you want to do that. Unlike everyone else you terrorize I’d actually report you and oh, what would your poor mother say after hearing that you were being violent again?” 

Shuichi could almost feel the way the boy’s blood ran cold, even at a distance.

“Perhaps she’d say something like ‘why can’t you be like your brother, Asano?’ or ‘we give you everything you could possibly need and you squander it acting like an animal’ ”

“Shut the fuck up! Don’t talk like you know me, bitch!” Asano, the bully, screamed. Even through his bravado, Shuichi could see his trembling fist.

“Oh? Judging by your reaction, I’d say I know you quite well. Not that you make it hard, you’re always bitching about your parents to your buddies over there. Tell me, how does it make you feel that you have this insatiable urge to control people? Is it because you have no control at home? Is it because you’re constantly compared to your brother?”

“You filthy skank! I’ll teach you to talk to me like that!”

His voice was loud, abhorrent… but he couldn’t move. His legs were shaking, glued to the spot. Something about the way you said it just struck a nerve within him and his brain seemed to sense an imminent presence of danger, one he likely hadn’t experienced before.

“Teach me then” you smiled, evenly - wickedly. “I’d love to learn”

But he did nothing… he called you a bitch one last time and fled, leaving his victim bloodied and sniffling on the floor.

What you did next sealed Shuichi’s fate, his heart wrapped around your finger.

You walked over to the poor, beaten boy and helped him to his feet, gently holding his hand. “Come along now, let’s get you to the nurse”

Shuichi felt the weight of his affection in his quivering legs as they all but almost gave out on him. He was certain of it, he’d found an angel.

\-------------------------

Time passed, well into the middle of his Sophomore year, and Shuichi stuck strictly to his schedule, one that was tied to your every move. Of course, in any court of law this was definitely considered stalking but Shuichi hadn’t the strength to think about such things - he was obsessed with you. You were like this beacon of warmth that he wanted to be enveloped by. He honestly meant no harm he just didn’t know how to approach you and in the back of his mind he feared you might reject him if he showed himself and he wasn’t quite sure he could handle that outcome, not after so long of feeling so numb.  He never went as far as to follow you home… but it wasn’t like the thought hadn’t crossed his mind every so often. At first these thoughts and urges frightened him but the person he had morphed into over the years, after all the abuse, couldn’t fight it anymore.

Although, it wasn’t like you didn’t notice his patterns, you were far from oblivious after all.

One day, Shuichi found himself outside one of your classrooms, watching you silently through the glass. You looked incredibly bored, hand in your palm as you stared lazily at the front of the classroom. Oh, but even that expression was one Shuichi could appreciate. Catching you in candid moments was one of his favorite things. He often wondered, what were you like when you weren’t tearing psychological holes in bullies? What were your hobbies? What did you like to eat? You were something of an enigma to him, one he couldn’t help but want to explore. He just wanted so badly to be close to you, to know you.

Shuichi stared longingly through the glass, head peeking over the lower half of the wall just enough to see you. How he wished he had enough courage to talk to you…

Lost in thought Shuichi almost missed the development happening in the classroom.

In just that moment your eyes swiveled from the front of the class directly over to where he was standing. Shuichi felt his heartbeat in his ears and his legs felt non-existent. His breath caught in his throat and the rest of his body felt frozen in time. He should’ve ducked down the minute you looked over but he was caught, paralyzed in that gentle intensity that was so commonly found in your expression.

_ Ah… they’re going to think I’m a creep if I keep staring! But I can’t look away… _

Then the most unexpected thing happened… you smiled at him.

It was playful but good natured, followed by a wink that knocked Shuichi clear off of his feet, literally. He found himself completely out of balance from such a simple expression, but as he lied on the floor he couldn’t help but think of how you had completely subverted all of his initial expectations. You… saw him being so creepy but made no disgusted faces? In fact you regarded him so positively even though he was invading your privacy. You… smiled at him, winked even! For a moment Shuichi had to wonder if he actually did see such a thing but the memory was so sweet and warm that he knew it wasn’t something he could’ve conjured on his own.

Did you have some interest in him? Maybe… he could talk to you and find out? Somehow, Shuichi felt that he had just the smallest bit of justification to feel hopeful in this situation.

\-----------

The rest of that day Shuichi spent replaying the events of what happened in the classroom in his head, as well as working up the courage to confront you. 

He had formulated something of a plan in his head. Just before your free period he would catch you in the hall and ask to speak with you. He would apologize for his behavior and in his sweetest daydreams of this interaction you would forgive him and allow him to be your friend. Truth be told, Shuichi had no idea how this plan would  _ actually _ go, he just hoped that for once, something might work out in his favor. He just… really wanted to be near you. So, as the bell rang, denoting the end of class, Shuichi gathered all of his courage and left to find you.

His feet lead him to the library, a place he had seen you come to more than once during your free period. Upon entry Shuichi tucked himself behind a bookcase, hiding from the judgemental eyes of the other students and eagerly waited for you to walk in. The longer the wait the more he could feel his hands clamming up, sweat beading underneath his cap. His mind started to wander, creating impossibly cruel and equally blissful outcomes in his head. He was torn between what he wanted to happen and what was more likely to happen when he spoke to you. Slowly, he started to feel the conflict of his emotions pool in the bend of his legs and the gentle quiver of his fear was made apparent. Maybe he should back out while he still had a chance… maybe he should…

“Hello Saihara~”

He squeaks, jumping in surprise as he’s suddenly enveloped in warmth. But it’s a warmth he immediately recognizes, it’s familiar arms that he’s imagined doing all sorts of things to him swarming around his waist and drawing him into a comfortable chest.

You were… holding him? Was that really what was happening?

“Were you looking for me?” your voice is sweet and teasing against his ear.

His face immediately glows red underneath his hat and he lets out another small squeak as you whisper into his ear, your warm breath tickling a particularly sensitive spot on his skin.

“U-Uhm… yes, I was” he managed to stutter out, voice incredibly small. “I just wanted to talk to you about earli-”

“Shh, not here. Meet me in the empty classroom down the hall, we can talk there” you ordered softly, regrettably letting go of him to saunter off to the aforementioned place of meeting.

Shuichi watched you go, too stunned to chase after you in just that moment. You had… held him? You were so close just a moment ago that he could smell you… feel your breath on his neck. God, what a wonderful feeling that was… the experience alone was enough to render him immobile for a few moments, savoring the feeling.

_ ‘Meet me in the empty classroom’ _  your soft order rung in his ears, hazy brain finally processing what you were asking of him and his frozen legs found purpose to move again. He quickly skittered out of the library and down the hall, searching for and eventually finding the empty classroom you spoke of. Stepping inside he notes that it is rather dark, only the light from the hallway gleams in through the small window of the door. Unlike some of the other classrooms the wall of the room that faced out towards the hallway was brick rather than glass, so that meant the two of you were truly left to your privacy.

Shuichi turned after having shut the door, eyes scanning for you in the soft darkness. He found you sitting at the head of the classroom, regally situated on top of what would appear to be a teacher’s desk. You regarded him with a playful smile, the same one he had seen before a few hours ago. Shuichi felt his heart jump up into his throat as he took in the setting. He felt like a lowly commoner about to address royalty. How he did wonder what his sentence would be… would you invite him into your court or banish him from your kingdom?

Shuichi didn’t have long to mull over such thoughts before you beckoned him closer.

“Come over here, Saihara. I can’t see you from that far away” you called, crooking a finger at him and motioning with it for him to come over.

He felt like a puppy newly acquainted with it’s master and shuffled closer to you, until the light of the sun outside illuminated his shy form in front of you.

“There we go, that’s better” you cooed, soft and inviting and it made Shuichi’s heart jump to hear such a delicate tone at all, let alone from you. “Now, what was it you wanted to tell me?” 

“I uhm….” Shuichi thought over his words for a moment before speaking. “I just… wanted to apologize if I brought you any discomfort earlier. I hadn’t intended to stare I just….”

_ I just like to look at you. You’re so gorgeous and you make me feel things I haven’t felt in so long. I… I think I… no, I know I’m in love with you!  _

_  
_ He bit back those inner words threatening to spill out, knowing full well if he said what he truly wanted to this conversation might flip on it’s head very quickly and after getting the chance to talk to you and be so close he absolutely could not screw this up. 

You giggled in the wake of his silence, snapping his head up from the floor. “Saihara, I know you’ve been following me for a while. It’s been more than a year now, did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

Shuichi felt the blood in his fingers run cold, eyes widening almost to the shape of saucers. You… knew how long he’d been following you? Then surely… this had to be the conversation where you asked him to stop. This would be where you would ask him to leave you alone and oh God he ruined everything! Had he just worked up the courage to talk to you maybe things would have worked out differently but he couldn’t! He hadn’t the strength for more rejection, not after he found such warmth in his life.

“I-I’m so sorry!” he blurted out, desperate and pleading. “I just… I wanted to talk to you for so long but I could never work up the courage. I know that doesn’t excuse my behavior but…. please understand I meant you no harm…”

_ Please don’t tell me to go… please don’t make me leave you... _

As those thoughts swirled in his mind he had to wonder...why was it now, in front of you, that he could clearly admit these things with such purpose? Why was it that he felt more bashful at a distance than he did when he was mere feet away, and directly speaking to you?

“I know that” you uttered, capturing his panicked attention once more. “If I thought you were a threat I would’ve confronted you months ago or told a teacher but….”

You leaned forward, sliding a hand underneath his chin. The contact alone elicited a shiver that ran from the base of his spine all the way up to the back of his neck. He felt his face grow hotter, the warmth spreading from his cheeks to the tips of his ears.

“...I started getting curious. What made such a meek boy want to follow me around? What did someone like me do for him? I’m not known as the nicest person around school after all…” you mused, searching his eyes with curiosity in your own.

“No matter how much I tried I couldn’t figure it out. So, I let you follow me in hopes that I might come to a revelation after some time but…. I’m still stumped. It’s obvious you feel for me in some sort of romantic way…” - Shuichi felt his stomach turn to have the truth come out of your mouth - “...but I can’t place why. Is it because we’re both outcasts in a way? Do you just like more dominant people that won’t throw you down a flight of stairs?”

He winced at the memory, but further reflected on your words. Yes, in the beginning that had been exactly why. You were treated almost the same way he was, threatened and bullied but you never walked away with the bruises he did. You were cut throat and nasty in the worst of times and at first Shuichi simply admired you, adored your strength to say what you felt and protect yourself without getting violent. Then slowly, the more he caught glimpses of your kinder nature did he…. start to fall in love. He could so often picture himself in the place of the people you helped to the nurse and it was a wonder you hadn’t caught him being bullied yet but he was almost glad that you hadn’t. It was a fantasy, among others, that he didn’t want broken.

“Is it all of the above? I could never tell” you continued. “But after I caught you today I figured it might be time to end this little cat and mouse chase and actually find out why you like me so much”

He felt the butterflies in his stomach swirl in a frenzy. Were you letting him stay near you? What did that mean?

“So Saihara, now that I have your attention, I want to run a little experiment. If you give me the results I’m looking for then there might just be something in it for you” you smiled, coy and playful.

“Ah..? Wh..what is it that you want me to do?” Shuichi stuttered, licking his dry lips.

“I want you to show me how much you like me”

Those words sent a flame throughout the entirety of his being. Show you how much he liked you? How would he possibly do that? He could tell you but showing you was an entirely different thing! Did you want gifts? Or something else? Not only that but the idea of showing you how enamored he was with you meant that you would inevitably… find out about his not so pure thoughts.

It was no secret that he had spent more than his fair share of nights, underneath his thin blanket searching for your warmth with his own hands. He imagined you in every fantasy he could possibly have, every kink had been fulfilled by you in his wildest dreams. If he had to show you that… oh God he didn’t know what he would do with himself.

“H… How do you want me to do that?” he squeaked out, trying not to focus on how close you had gotten to him.

“Well, how would you show someone you like them?” you countered, a crooked grin on your face.

“Ah.. well.. with flowers? … words?... a-actions?”

“Actions is a good start. What kind of actions?”

“I… I don't know. K...kissing?” God he felt like a little boy exploring the world of affection for the first time. He half expected the phrase ‘people kiss when they like each other’ to come falling out of his mouth as though he were a toddler discovering the concept.

“Mm, close. Intimacy is a good marker of interest sometimes but rather than kissing I was thinking something more like…” your hand gently clamped around his, causing him to jump slightly from the contact. Slowly you guided his hand downward until it… was resting at his crotch.   
  
“... this” you whispered into his ear. “Do you get it now?” 

Oh God how could he not?

“You… you want me to…?”

“I want you to touch yourself in front of me” you confirmed, running your wet tongue up the shell of his ear, to which he shivered pleasantly at.

“Wh… why?” he had no idea why he was questioning this, he had been given a golden opportunity to do something he had always fantasized about doing but somehow he had trouble processing the reality of the situation.

“This is just to see how comfortable you are with me and where your boundaries are. Do you want me to touch you? Do you think about me like that? I’ve been wondering ever since I caught you following me and if you show me... well, then we might be able to have a lot more fun, mm?”

More fun…? Oh how his mind swirled at the possibilities. Moreover he couldn’t get past how sweet you were being to him. You were checking his boundaries… to see if this was something he was comfortable with. You weren’t demanding he do something like this… it was a courtesy he hadn’t yet been offered from anyone when it came to intimacy.

While he was busy swooning over your kindness he didn’t realize that he had gone eerily quiet and while the soft smile on his face would have suggested otherwise, his lack of verbal confirmation set you back a bit. 

“Of course… if you’re not alright with it, then we can do something else. I won’t force anything from you…”

It was the first time Shuichi had ever seen anything akin to nervousness in your eyes. You bit your lip just slightly as you looked him over. He was smiling but his shoulders were tense. He was blushing something terrible but his legs were quivering. It was like you were wondering if you had read the situation wrong, if you had just assumed he would be okay with this because of his creepy tendencies. You weren’t wrong at all, however. Despite his insecurities with showing you any part of his naked body, this was still something he had imagined himself doing many times before.

“No… no I’m… fine with it…” he admitted, an even darker blush blooming on his cheeks.

“You sure?” the kind undertone in your voice soothed his drumming heart.

He nodded, too shy to admit such a dirty thing a second time.

“Well then…” and your normal, playful smile returned to your face. “Let’s get you settled in”

Before Shuichi could really ask what you meant by that you had traveled behind the desk to retrieve the lone chair sitting there and pulled it out to the front. You positioned it in front of where you had been sitting moments ago and then turned to him with that expectant smile, gesturing to the chair.

“Go on” you encouraged, moving backwards and eventually hauling yourself back onto the edge of the desk.

With everything in place, now all it needed was him to complete the picture. Even though Shuichi’s legs quaked under the pressure of having to do such things in front of you, his heart sung to finally have your attention. So even through all of his nerves he found himself easily sliding into the chair, eager to please you and even more so to have your eyes on him.

“Ah...uhm… should I start now?” he asked, eyes shyly looking into your own.

“I’d like that yes, but, wait until you’re comfortable. I don’t mind” you smiled still, looking down on him like some benevolent deity.

He swallowed thickly, not having the voice to say much else and slowly started moving his hands in a familiar motion. They worked to clumsily undo his pants button, unsteady fingers  slipping around it more than once. When he manages to finally get it open he feels his stomach turn over in mild embarrassment to discover that he was already very visibly aroused. Between all the emotions he’d been feeling and the cover of darkness he had almost been able to ignore it, pretend it didn’t exist, but no it was very much there. Could he really be surprised though, given the situation? After all, you were asking him to jerk off in front of you, there was no way he couldn’t be feeling more than a little excited. He fights through that initial embarrassment and slides his hand into his underwear, pulling his arousal out of it and into the open where you could see it - hard and aching for you and you alone.

“Ooh, impressive, Saihara” you chirped, eyeing his erection. “I’m almost sorry I waited this long to make you do this~”

“Oh…? Ah, thank you…?”

You leaned forward just so, eyeing him coyly. “Do you think about me when you touch yourself?”

Looking at him in such a way made Shuichi’s gut flip over in a pleasant twist. No matter how hard it was to hold your gaze, no matter how much his timid nature told him to look away - hide his shame - all he wanted was to stare into those eyes, to look at that face he’d imagined doing this exact thing so many times before.

“Y...Yes… all the time..” he mumbled, breathlessly.

Something bright flickered over those entrancing eyes of yours. “All the time you say?”

He nodded, wetting his dry tongue with a soft flick of it against the roof of his mouth. “Yes… I… I’ve imagined this exact scenario before…”

“You’re quite a naughty boy, aren’t you?”

“Only when it comes to you…!” he sputtered. “I… I’ve always wanted to be intimate with you. You make me so crazy that I just… can’t help myself…”

“Show me then” was your simple reply.

Shuichi, at your request, looks down at the hand he had resting against the base of his shaft. Slowly, he glides a hand up to the tip, voice hitching at the first sparks of pleasure that surged up his body, inflaming his senses. In his imagination his fingers were always replaced with the image of your skilled tongue wrapping around the head, coaxing an orgasm from him so easily. He purses his lips, trying to keep from being too loud as his thumb toys with his slit, muffled moans collecting in the cavern of his closed mouth.

However, you didn’t seem too keen on letting him stay quiet. “Open your mouth, Saihara. I want to hear you”

Through glazed over eyes he looks up at you, a sense of urgency blaring somewhere behind the haze of pleasure. “S-Someone might hear….”

“We can cross that bridge if we come to it. Right now, I want to hear that cute little voice of yours”

Oh God, how could he possibly deny you when you spoke to him like that?

A strained whimper leaves his mouth as he opens it, trying so hard not to be too loud but all of his senses felt amplified with you watching him, complimenting him. You were like an aphrodisiac, something that got him burning with just that teasing voice of yours. He wanted you to keep talking to him, to keep staring him down while he presented his lewd body to you. Shuichi keeps pumping, gradually getting faster and louder the more he indulged himself.

“Do you wish it was me, Saihara? Do you want my hand around your cock?” you whispered sinuously into the air.

“Y..Yes! Your hand, your tongue...everything!” the teenager whimpers breathlessly, far too gone to be shy anymore.

“What else do you want me to do?”

“Anything you want…! I… I would be your toy if that’s-” his breath hitches in a moan “ - what you wanted…”

“Quite a devoted boy aren’t you? That’s pretty hot, actually” you purred, running your tongue over your lips.

Shuichi watches as that wet appendage slithers back inside your mouth and finds himself dearly wishing it would come back to engulf his lips or his cock or  _ anything _ . He was so needy for you, for any sort of affection you might bestow on him. Just the thought of actually getting to be with you in any sort of way was enough to drive him to the edge.

“You’re really wet, Saihara, are you close?”

He nods eagerly, cap almost flying off in his vigorous shaking. He could feel the coil in his stomach constricting tighter and tighter, it was only a matter of time until he burst. Oh how he wanted release, to show you what you did to him with just your presence and he almost did until-

“Stop”

Your hand suddenly shoots out, grabbing gently onto his and pulling it from his erection. He lets out a strangled moan at the loss of his orgasm, hopelessly burning in his seat. Why had you done that? You had asked him to do this in the first place, hadn’t you? Was this a test? Or were you going to make him stay like this, needy and aching for release?

Shuichi looks up at you hopelessly, a pleading look in his eyes. “Ah...please… please [Name], let me come…. I can’t take it any longer…” the boy begs.

In return the boy finds that you’re… smirking down at him, an amused look in your eyes. It sends shivers down his spine, pleasant tingles of apprehension for what you were planning to do to him.

“Oh Saihara, you’re so cute~ I won’t keep you waiting too much longer”

His gaze turns curious, regarding you with a look of hope.

“You’ve been such a good boy that I thought I might give you a reward”

He doesn’t have time to question you for in the next moment your hand that was preventing his own from continuing his ministrations wraps around the head of his cock and squeezes it. Stars erupt behind Shuichi’s eyes.

“Ah-ah!!”

It only takes a few more stroked from your skilled hand for Shuichi to be coming into your palm, coating, it with his seed.

Shuichi is a mess of mumbles, all of which sound like your name. He collapses against the back of the chair with heavy breaths, legs having gone limp and moans unabashedly about how good that was, how wonderful your hand felt against his cock.

When he manages to regain any sort of grip on reality Shuichi’s head lolls to the side, finding you licking his cum from your hand, eyes having never left his spent form. As Shuichi comes down off of his high he can feel the bits of timidity and shyness returning to the bits and pieces of him that weren’t caked in ecstasy. Watching you lick his cum off of your hand with such enjoyment makes him feel overjoyed but your unending stare makes him feel a bit embarrassed to look like such a mess in front of you.

You didn’t seem to mind it though.

“You’ve been a very good boy, Saihara” you coo, stepping closer to him.

“Oh… ah… thank yo-!” Shuichi cuts himself off as you suddenly slip into his lap, straddling him as you press your forehead against his. “Wh..what are you doing..?” 

“Do you remember what I told you earlier? That if you showed me how much you liked me there would be more in it for you?” you inquire, searching his eyes with this expression of what looked to be glee.

“Yes, I do…”

“Well Saihara, you’ve passed the test”

His heart jumped up into his throat.

“So what do you say…”

Yes? What did you want from him?

“.... about being my boyfriend?”

Before Shuichi had any time to respond your lips captured his and your throat swallowed the hitched moan he almost let out. Your boyfriend? Be your boyfriend? Did you… really just ask him that? You did, didn’t you? And now you were kissing him. He felt like he’d died because there was no way such a beautiful moment like this could be real… but it was. It was tangible, he could touch it, he could feel it - feel you. He could feel your warm lips and your wet tongue in his mouth, licking at his squeaks and whimpers.

He didn’t know when it started but… he could feel tears dripping down his cheeks as he threw his arms around your neck and allowed you to devour him, to use him as your own personal chew toy if that was what you so desired.

You pulled away far too soon but when you did Shuichi’s eyes followed the trail of saliva connecting both of your lips, evidence of the kiss that had just taken place.

“Does that sound like something you would be interested in… Shuichi?”

It was all he ever wanted…


	2. A Meal that Satisfies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi is absolutely smitten with you. Lost in daydreams of the two of you together gets him through the day. However, being suddenly called down to the counselor's office breaks his newfound tranquility and he finds himself thrust back into that familiar despair... not for long though.

The event of two days past played in Shuichi’s mind on repeat. That darkened classroom and your gospel words were the lullaby he went to sleep with and the gentle alarm clock he woke up to. A never ending cycle of warmth occupied his mind and he felt like he might just get lost in it had you not been there to make new, sweeter memories with him.

A fear the lurked in the back of the young man’s mind was that after that little moment you might start ignoring him, that you may have just used him for a minute of fun like everyone else seemed to and then forget him the next day. Your promises of being a couple would have been lost to time and Shuichi would be left only to cling to the few minutes you spent showing him kindness. Miraculously, to his utter delight, you did the exact opposite.

Over the past two days you had caught him outside in the morning before school and sat with him before homeroom began. You would join him for lunch and even study sessions in the library when you both had a free period. When you would pass each other in the halls you would sweetly call out his name and lean in to kiss his cheek on your way to your next class. The first time it happened the boy nearly fainted, face turning bright red as you giggled good naturedly at his timidity. He could feel people staring, eyes going wide at this new development but somehow… he could care less. This was real. You were really… together.

Shuichi couldn’t stop thinking about it, even then as he sat somewhere in the middle of the classroom, zoning out during a lecture with a goofy smile on his face. This was abnormal not because Shuichi paid attention class - not that he needed to, really - but because usually during this time he’d be trying to sneak in some viewing time for his favorite show. The new season had started some weeks ago and just like with all the seasons before then he was obsessed. But, he just couldn’t shake you from his mind for even a moment. He didn’t want to. Thinking about you brought him a kind of bliss he hadn’t experienced in such a long time.

He was so dozed out that he almost didn’t recognize something happening in the classroom.

“....seems…. you’re…. office…”

Someone was trying to talk to him but his mind tuned in only to bits and pieces of words that were of no consequence to him. At least until-

“Saihara!”

The aggressive shout of his name jerked him back to reality, making him jump in his seat - something the other students wasted no time laughing at him for.

“Answer me when I speak to you!” the teacher demanded, a hard look in his eyes as he stared the daydreaming boy down.

“O..Oh, sorry teacher. I didn’t hear you…” Shuichi stuttered, voice small as per usual.

The older man, his teacher, stood at the side of the classroom with his hand on the landline phone that allowed for him to make calls to the principal and other such people. He shook his head, massaging between his temples.

“I can see that” he sighed.

Shuichi sunk in his chair, embarrassment flooding to his very core.

“Anyway” the teacher continued, annoyance still seeping into his words. “I was trying to tell you that the counselor’s office called. They want you to go down there”

The hole that filled his already empty stomach grew twice in size at those words. The boy was no stranger to the counselor’s office. Between the bruises he carried from home that he sometimes couldn’t hide, to the beatings at school, he had made himself a frequent visitor to that place. Yet even still… nothing ever changed. Shuichi hadn’t the voice to speak up against his abusers because he knew even more abuse was waiting for him if he did. His uncle had convinced him that if Child Protective Services were to take him away then there was no hope of him finding a foster family.

“There’s no family in the world that would want a creepy kid like you. Be thankful you’ve got me, you little runt”

Those words dug holes in his self esteem worse than any weapon or demeaning name a bully could throw at him. Especially when he thought back on how warmly his parents had cared for him in his youth. Shuichi often thought about how cruel it was that he had gone from such a loving home to the place in time he called reality but any time he dare question how this could happen to him, the world had a way of convincing him that he deserved it.

Therefore, the counselor’s office was the last place he wanted to be. He didn’t feel like being questioned about the bruises on his arms or the way he was shrinking out of his uniform that fit him just fine at the start of high school. Nothing came of it and he was so tired of being reminded of these incidences again and again with no resolution.

But the teacher quickly beckoned him out and out Shuichi went, as always, with little fight.

The walk downstairs felt like a marathon that his tired legs begged not to complete. Why couldn’t he just be left to his daydreams? Left to his sweet little memories that you had been kind enough to give him? Was he allowed to have nothing in this life?

You in mind, Shuichi scans the classroom with the glass window as he passes it. He knew that this was the room you had class in during this time and even a glimpse of you or maybe even one of those playful winks might give him the strength to get through this. But when Shuichi slowed to only a few steps a second, trying to find you, he noticed that your normal chair was empty. He knew he saw you this morning, you’d been with him for pretty much the entirety of it, so where had you gone? Perhaps you were in the bathroom?

Shuichi felt his heart sink into his stomach as he passed the length of the window. He really just wanted to see you right now. He wanted you to kiss him like you did, fully and with so much purpose that it took his breath away. He would even settle for a teasing peck on the cheek, he just wanted your affection, your attention. It was the only thing that ever made him feel better.

With a heavy heart the boy with the cap resigned himself to his fate and made his way downstairs.

His feet eventually reached the door of the counselor’s office. He stood out there for a while, contemplating whether or not he should actually go in or maybe try to hide somewhere until the next period started. As much as that option sounded appealing to him, his brain rationed with him fairly quickly that that was all too suspicious. He let out a heavy sigh and knocked on the door before going inside.

“Ah… you wanted to see me, counselor?” he called as he stepped into the room.

It was… familiar. All too familiar. There’s a row of chairs across from the desk, set up against the wall. Shuichi regards the one closest to the corner of the room and feels his heart sink as the memories of the time he’s been in that particular seat come flooding into his mind. His eyes follow around the rest of the room, looking at the dorky posters with ineffective slogans plastered all over the walls. Finally they land on where the counselor’s chair is… but something’s off. It’s turned around and the person who’s supposed to be there has yet to say anything to him. Furthermore he notices that there’s two boxes of food on the desk… what could the counselor need with two?

“Oh good you made it here, sweetheart!”

That familiar voice encircles his heart in a sweet embrace and Shuichi’s eyes go wide as the chair swivels around. It was… you. You were in the chair! You were here! Your playful smile and slightly amused gaze filled his dreary disposition with happiness, his eyes lighting up in your presence.

“[Name]! What are you doing here?” that was probably the first sentence he ever spoke without stuttering in front of you. God, he was just so happy. He felt like a puppy who’s owner had just come home.

“I’m playing counselor” you laughed. “The actual counselor wanted a reeeaallly long smoke break so she asked me to cover for her”

“Cover…? Are students allowed to do that?” Shuichi pondered aloud.

“Not normally but I’ve been in here so much that I guess she trusts me? I’m always in here with kids who’ve been beaten and I’ve given them some of my own talks before. The counselor says I’m more fit for the job than she is” you shrugged, as if those words didn’t sound like some sort of excuse for the counselor to have someone else do her job.

But Shuichi could believe it. He could believe that someone like you could help some of the damaged people that walked through those doors. You had this… protective sort of aura around you. To people like Shuichi, even if you were odd, even if all you were doing was probing people for reactions like you so claimed, all of that was so easily overlooked when you were just so… comfortable.

“I can’t say I’m surprised…” he smiled, heart filled with admiration for you and it showed in the way his eyes gleamed as he looked at you.

“Aww, you’re a cutie, Shuichi. That’s so sweet” you cooed, chuckling just so.

“Just.. being honest…” the boy stuttered, fidgeting on his feet just a bit as that usually flustered nature of his set in.

You giggled again, delighting in that shy disposition of his. “Well, why don’t you sit down? I called you here to get you out of class after all”

“That was you?”

“Of course it was, silly. Now go on sit down, I brought lunch for the both of us” you smiled, reaching for the lunchboxes he had been eyeing just before.

Shuichi’s stomach growls loud and wild at the mention of food, brain immediately clambering onto the idea of actually filling his aching stomach. It’s not like it was hard to see that Shuichi was rather malnourished. The suit of his uniform hung loosely off of his shoulders and the lean shape of his body was hidden in the curtain of clothing that was a size or so too big for him. He fit into it when he first started high school but between having meals withheld from him at home and his inability to buy food at school, he started losing weight pretty fast - something you had commented on during your first official day as a couple.

_“You’re not eating, Shuichi?” you asked, starting to pick at your food._

_“Oh… no, I’m not hungry…” he lied, even as the inside of his mouth grew wet with desire the longer he eyed your food._

_“You’re as thin as a rail” it was the first time Shuichi had ever seen you truly frown in concern. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do with your body but you should eat something”_

_“No really… I’m fine…”_

_“Mmm…” your eyes spelled suspicion and Shuichi felt himself shrink away from that prying gaze, which must’ve been more than enough for you to determine that he was lying. “Well, if you change your mind….”_

_You separated half of your food on your plate and turned the untouched side to him. “You can have some of mine”_

_You watched him almost expectantly, waiting for him to crack. Under these conditions Shuichi didn’t last long. Try as he might to convince himself that he couldn’t take food from you the pressure to resist was too great and it inevitably broke him in the end. His stomach growled loudly and he practically dove into the food, tears leaking down his cheeks from his conflicted emotions._

_You placed a caring hand on his unoccupied one. “There, there go on. It’s for you after all”_

_Shuichi had thought it enough to convince himself it had to be true but in this moment it was all the more reinforced - you had to be an angel._

Even if it had only been two days since then you had, without fail, brought food for him as well. At first he felt like he was being a burden, taking up your free time and making you waste precious food you bought with your own money. But when he questioned you about it you just shrugged and said “It’s really not a big deal. I couldn’t eat all of this by myself anyway.” Elated as those words made him feel, he also had to wonder what you meant by “by yourself”. Surely you had a family at home? Or maybe you meant something else by it? Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to pry, so he left it alone and instead accepted the many blessings he’d been given since you entered his life.

“Hope you like chicken, there’s a lot of it in here” you laughed, grabbing the boxes and circling around the desk to join him on the chairs.

“That’s fine, thank you” he smiled, graciously taking one of the boxes. The smell flows up into his nostrils even through the container and Shuichi can’t help the way his mouth starts to water, eager to get anything into that bare cavern he called a stomach. He watches as you open your box and does the same soon after, practically inhaling his food once he saw it.

You laughed softly at him, watching as he scarfs down his food. “Tastes good, I guess?”

He feels his cheeks brighten at your teasing words but nods all the same, having been in between a bite of food.

“I’m glad. Hopefully we can get some weight on you by the end of the year” you chuckled, reaching a hand out to gently pinch his side. He jumps in surprise, squeaking softly at the subtle squeeze of his skin.

“Hehe, you’re so cute, you know that?” you croon, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

Shuichi immediately feels the color in his cheeks darken, face a shade away from burning in the wake of your affection. He was still getting used to this. Getting used to be regarded like a normal person. Being teased in a nonviolent way and having someone show him genuine affectionate behavior… it was all so new to him and when these little bits of positive interaction were coming from you he couldn’t get enough of it.

“Um… thank you…” he stutters, trying to find the conviction to say the thoughts that popped into his mind. “You… you’re really cute, too….” and even though he felt like his heart might beat right out of his chest, he felt proud of himself for being able to say that to you. After all this time of thinking it he finally got to say it.

“Aww, how sweet” you press another kiss to his shoulder, scooting your body closer to him and generously sharing your warmth with him. “How is everyone so mean to you? You’re adorable”

There’s this bittersweet feeling that befalls him at your words. On the one hand he felt like he could die happy hearing you say something like that, to deny that he deserved to be treated the way he was but on the other hand… hearing you say it made him feel like he was deceiving you in some way. Tricking you into believing that he really was so innocent, so “adorable” as you put it. He wants to tell you that he doesn’t know why everyone was constantly torturing him and to have you tell him in return that you’d protect him from now on but he can’t find the voice… he can’t ask that of you no matter how much he wanted to…

You seemed to understand his silence for you merely just continued, reassuring him as best as you could. “Well, I happen to be quite fond of boys like you so you’re safe with me”

A small smile finds the young man as he wordlessly goes about eating the lunch you had given him. Yes, if there was anyone he could believe it was you.

The two of you go about your lunch break, you teasing him now and again between the pleasant conversation. It was… nice. It was nice to sit and talk with you about the newest detective novel he’d picked up and the abstract dreams you’d been having. It really felt like the two of you were just a normal couple, just having a normal conversation. He liked this… he really, really liked this.

_Bzzrrrt._

Seemed like nothing good could last for too long, could it?

“Ah… that’s the next period bell, isn’t it?” Shuichi sighed.

“Yeah but it’s not like you have to go anywhere”

He looks to you, quirking an eyebrow and you just smiled, playfully, as you so often did.

“You’re in the counselor’s office, remember? That means you get a free pass out of class. All I have to do is write you a slip and you’re fine”

“Are you… allowed to do that?”

“When I said the counselor was going to be out on a really long smoke break, I meant it. She gave me the okay to write slips for anyone who comes in while she’s gone”

Shuichi had been given hints here and there about how unprofessional this school behaved in regards to the well being of it’s students but he never imagined it stretched this far. How were you just given permission to do only what teachers and other faculty should be able to do? Then again, did he really want to question it if it meant he could stay with you just a little longer?

“So do you want to stay here with me or go back to class?” you asked, obviously already knowing the answer but you still wanted to give him the option.

“I… I would like to stay with you… if that’s alright?” he asked, hope in his eyes.

“Of course you can! After all, I was thinking we could do something fun while you’re here”

There’s this… gleam in your eyes that makes his stomach flip over and the blood in his body rush to every sensitive spot he had. “Wh… what would that be?”

Instead of answering him you merely get up and make your way to the desk in front of the two of you, hopping on top of it a moment later. The image reminds him of only a couple of days ago when you first reached out to him. Even now you held that same picture of some sort of deity gracing him with attention.

You asked something. “Are you still hungry, Shuichi?” and before he could respond your hands had slid up your legs, immediately catching his attention.

Slowly… up your skirt, pulling it back to give him a glorious view of your underwear. Shuichi’s eyes are trained on your hands, your lower half, watching you with such interest as your fingers hook into that delicate fabric and… start to pull it down. He feels how heavy his eyes get, hazing over as such an intimate part of you is revealed to him, his body tingling and hot to be able to behold such a wondrous sight. God, you were beautiful, even in such a place, even more so than his imagination had given you credit for.

“Ah… you… do you want me to?” it was all he could say to keep himself from burying his face in your heat without your permission.

“If you’re still hungry, go on and eat me out” you offered, eyes shining with such confidence, watching as he struggled in his seat to restrain himself.

Every part of Shuichi wanted to thank you for this wonderful opportunity, for allowing a person such as himself to touch you in such a way. He figured, since you were giving him the chance, he could thank you by trying to give you as much pleasure as you had shown him. He wasn’t terribly confident in his abilities, having never done this with someone before but God did he even care anymore? He’d been so longing to taste you. So with that goal in mind Shuichi rose, stumbling over to you only to kneel in front of the desk, eye level with your pussy.

“I’ll hold onto that” you smiled, pulling his hat off of his head and placing it on your own. “It’s just going to get in the way”

Shuichi can’t help but smile softly at the sight of you wearing his cap. You looked absolutely adorable, like you’d been meant to wear it.

Eventually though, his eyes drift back down, unable to ignore the soft flesh in front of him. Surprisingly, you were already fairly wet. Had he done something to turn you on? He would have to figure out what that was later and remember to keep doing it. He looks up at you, desparation pooling in his eyes as he leans closer to you. He sticks out his tongue and the first taste he gets of you sends a spark jolting throughout his entire body. He could feel that heat immediately begin pooling in his cock.

“Ahh… you taste so good…” he moans, watching as you peer down at him with that dominant look in your eyes, a look that wraps him up in your every demand.

“Well go on, then. It’s all there for you, sweetie~”

You didn’t need to tell him twice. He looks from you, back down to your heat and licks another hot stripe up your clit, followed by more and more until saliva was dripping out of his mouth from how fervently he let the flat of his tongue slurp at the sensitive bud. The lunches you had given him had been amazing but as he licked at you he found that you were a meal that fulfilled him in ways he never thought possible.

“Ooh, Shuichi” you cooed, rooting your fingers gently into his hair. “You’re so eager~ It feels so good”

The young boy moans openly in response to your praise, having been panting and whimpering as he indulged himself in your taste. Shuichi presses his face closer to you, beginning to suckle every place he possibly could, especially the spots that made you jump ever so slightly. He could feel how excited he was getting, his cock straining against his pants the longer this went on and while he did he want to do something about it he didn't want to stop servicing you, far too enthralled with the activity.

“Do you like it Shuichi? Do you like eating out my pussy?”

Oh God did he, and at being prompted to answer his innermost thoughts came spilling out like a waterfall.

“Yes…yes!” he panted in between licks. “You taste so good… you're so beautiful… so wonderful and warm..!”

He felt you shiver ever so softly at his praise, clearly not used to such kind words and it brings a warmth to his chest to be the one to tell you such things because he meant every word of it. You meant everything to him and he had no problem telling you so.

“Such a sweet talker~ I knew I liked you, Shuichi”

Those words earn a long, wanton moan from him as he buries himself ever more into your heat, completely obsessed with everything that you were.

“I imagine you're probably pretty hard, huh?” you mused, breathing labored the more he indulged himself. “You're welcome to jerk off if you want”

That's when the black haired boy is reminded of the cock in his pants, fully erect and begging for friction. Your permission is enough for him to finally slip a hand down into his pants and grasp at the aching organ and start to pump himself. Fuck he was so close already, just from doing this to you and the way he gasped after only a few strokes was enough to tell you all you needed to know. 

“You're close, huh?” you breathed.

Shuichi looked up at you, panting and needy and everything in between. All he can manage to do is nod, mouth too preoccupied with trying not to moan too loud but those verbal affirmations of pleasure rolled off of his tongue far too easily.

“Yes….yes! Oh God [Name] I'm going to cum!”

“Good, I don't think I can….” your breath hitches just slightly “... hold on much longer either”

No matter the pleasure he's racked in, body threatening to fall apart in this sexual atmosphere he finds a way to keep a steady rhythm on his cock and his face buried in your pussy. God he was hungry, starving for you to just let yourself go all over his face and his aching cock was a testament to that, just about ready to explode.

“Ah….aah!” and with one final moan Shuichi is cumming into his palm, hard and fast. Not more than a second later are you doing the same, juices covering his tongue and all over his face. He swallows as much as his mouth allows before going in to lick more of you, off of your body. His body was wracked with the aftermath of exhausted pleasure as he idly savored your taste. In all the time's he's imagined something like this it's never been quite so sweet. This was bliss, absolute bliss.

“Hehe…. I think you're addicted. It's been a bit since I came and you’re still going…” you giggled airly, still fighting to regain control over your breathing.

The dark haired boy looked up at you, love swirling in his eyes as he does. His hung open, drooling mouth closes into a small as he finally noticed your reddened cheeks and your gentle gaze. You looked so content, so comfortable. The sudden desire of wanting to crawl up into your arms and fall asleep against your chest enters his mind and it sure was a tempting one.

Lovestruck and dazed his thoughts leak out of his mouth in an adoringly soft voice.

“You're gorgeous…”

Shuichi saw the flicker of surprise in your eyes and the way they molded into something truly caring and sweet. Oh, how he could live in this moment forever, with you looking at him like that.

“Hehe… and you look incredibly sleepy” you teased, fingers sifting through his hair, a gesture he immediately leans into, pushing his head into your palm.

“Come up here” you ordered gently, patting your thigh. “You can take a nap until next period. The counselor won't be back until then”

At the prospect of sleep, against you no less, Shuichi staggers to his feet and climbs onto the desk. He lays his head on your thigh, nuzzling your soft skin with his nose. His hand drifts to intertwine with yours, lazy fingers wrapping around your own.

The desk was not the most comfortable place for a nap by far but… he reckoned he might just sleep at the edge of the world if it meant he could be next to you. Those were the thoughts he went to sleep with as his eyes slowly closed, soft smile on his face as he drifted off right next to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some good old cunnilingus, mm-mm. 
> 
> Reader is still gender neutral despite their parts, just want to make that clear. You can imagine them as any kind of person you want (as it's meant to be for whoever's reading this anyway LOL) it's just easier and more comfortable for me to write sex scenes this way.
> 
> That out of the way this chapter came out for more sappy than I intended but I like it, I live for some sap and some sex. Next chapter is also sappy but kind of a rough one so enjoy the fluff while you've got it LOL Anyway, I hope you guys like this and thank you, as always, for supporting and reading my stuff. Leave a comment and let me know what you think!


	3. A Hand to Turn Destiny's Wheel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After some time of evading his bullies at school Shuichi finds himself at their mercy once more. He already has it bad at home, why does it need to be here too? How long will this go on? 
> 
> Not for too long if you had anything to say about it. 
> 
> Trigger warning: mentions of family abuse, violent bullying

**Trigger warning: mentions of family abuse, violent bullying**

 

Flights of fancy and savory daydreams only last for so long when you’ve been bitten by trauma. They last even less so when trauma doesn’t stop scratching at your skin. Kicking you in the gut and sending you off to school without breakfast because you took a minute too long in the bathroom or didn’t get up exactly when you should have. Abuse is an action that precedes trauma, a deadly cause and effect relationship. This was something Shuichi Saihara had come to learn at an early time in his life and was still learning even as he found a small glowing star in the baking afternoon where the sun insists the moon stay in the dark where it belongs, forever withholding a space in time where he could rest.

You were the only good thing in his life, his small little star.

But you couldn’t always be there and after a few weeks, a day or two shy of a month, of the two of you dating Shuichi began to realize that. In the beginning his initial ecstasy of the time you spent together was almost enough to trick him into believing that he could live off of that alone and block everything else out but reality wasn’t so kind. The bullying still continued, the abuse at home still went on. It felt like nothing he could do could break this cycle. He was condemned to it. _Destined_ for it.

At least that’s what he thought… until something changed.

It began like every other afternoon. The route to his next class had no chance of intersecting with yours and every time he tried to find a way around it he wound up late, standing outside the door until class was over. If there was one thing he had going for him it was his good grades, it was the only savior he had when it came to dealing with his uncle. So to keep pursuing a futile route that not only wouldn’t grant him the chance to see but would also put his academic achievements in jeopardy was foolhardy. So Shuichi stayed taking the most direct route to that class.

However, he was unaware that his change of pattern kept him free of one thing - the bullies. They had no way of knowing which way he would go because almost every new day was a different experiment for him. That, combined with the fact that you and he appeared to be dating was a whole different story. They wouldn’t dare go near him if you were around, which you always seemed to be. Except for this small window in time, which they eventually noticed once he started taking his normal route back to class. The first few days were experimental. They’d rough him up in the halls, push him into walls and berate him but never leave scars - no traces you could follow. They knew Shuichi well enough to know that he wasn’t a snitch, he didn’t have the courage to be. So as long as you couldn’t figure it out for yourself, meaning there was no evidence, they were safe.

Shuichi tried to find a way around it but every time he did he wound up in the same predicament, blocked off at every escape route. They were always there, lingering like maggots and he had to wonder why they wasted so much time just to torment him but no matter how much he sulked over it he could never come up with an answer.

Those endless thoughts find him once again as the bell rings and his lungs drop into his stomach. He did his best to gather his books as fast as the other students but somehow he’s always the last one out, at the back of the crowd and easy pickings for the predators nearby.

“Where do you think you’re going, Saihara?” his blood ran cold when he heard it, just like it always did. It’s taunting, but nothing like your playful teasing. It’s cold and malicious where you were light hearted and warm.

Perhaps too much time with you had affected his train of thought but Shuichi found himself wanting to round on them and coldly announce that it was ‘none of their business where he thought he was going’. Even if... that was completely stupid. The venom in your veins and the psychology to understand these bullies was something he lacked. It was impossible for him to get to a point where they might falter at what he had to say. Standing up for himself would only end in more pain. Yet, even still, this small seed of rebellion sowed in the garden of his mind would repay him at a later time.

“Ju...Just to class…” he mumbled, eyes trained on the shoes he had just cleaned this morning.

“Well, why don’t you hang back a bit and chat with us?” Asano, the lead of the group, chuckled darkly.

“Ah… well, we’d both be late then…” it was the same conversation everyday but Shuichi always held out this small bit of hope that logic might save him.

That day was definitely today. “I don’t think the teacher would notice if you’re gone, honestly. As for me, it’s my free period. I thought you’d know that by now after all the time we’ve spent together”

Of course he knew that, it was a fact he always tried to forget.

He felt a hand possibly large enough to clamp over his entire head land on his shoulder, forcing a violent jolt of his body out of him, one he was laughed at for by the two other boys waiting in the wings. “I think you’re being a little rude, Saihara. All we want is to hang out and you’re being so cold”

Shuichi knew what came next. The halls were empty now.

“So why don’t you-” he felt wind generate around him from how hard he’s whipped into the wall beside him. “- chill out.”

The impact leaves him gasping and his back felt like a toppled bookshelf, bones feeling as though they had all fallen out of place. He would be immensely surprised if he hadn’t cracked a rib or ruptured a disc in his spine given the world of pain he was currently in.

He’s roughly pulled up by the collar of his shirt, forced to look up at his tormentor.  It’s a look he’s seen many time before, a hateful, mocking stare that burns deep into the crevices of his soul and makes every organ in his body squeamish.

“I know I’ve said this before but I feel you need to be reminded. You made it _really_ difficult for us to get a hold of you for a while there and that deserves a bit of punishment, don’t you think?”

No… no he didn’t want this at all. He was just trying to avoid all of this. Trying to let the bruises heal and the sometimes crooked way he walked straighten again. He didn’t… did he really deserve this? Just because he tried to find some solace in his life?

“Answer me when I’m talking to you!” Asano growls, clenching his fist tighter around the fabric which in turn closes around Shuichi’s throat. “You deserve this, you know that, right?”

“Ah… yes…” it’s a painful croak, a lie to preserve whatever safety he might have.

“God, it’s like pulling teeth with you” the bigger man snarls, throwing him harshly onto the floor.

He feels the urge to scramble away, to try to get as far away from them as possible but the minute he thinks to act on that impulse is he cornered by the other two, each pressing a foot onto his body.

“Heh, you're so desperate for attention that you let that freak walk all over you but you're so hesitant with us. I think that's a bit odd, yeah?”

There's this lump of burning coal that fights it's way up his throat at those words. Every bit of Shuichi struggled to keep his mouth closed. Any part of his body that wasn't his devoted heart still fought to convince him he needed to comply in order to not suffer more pain. The problem was that he knew who he meant by “freak” and it twisted his gut inside out to hear them speak of you in such a way. What right did he, did _anyone_ think they had to place you and any insult side by side in their disgusting mouths? The injustice of it all pushes that lump of coal out of his throat.

“Don't talk about them like that! You don't have the right!” he spits. His voice, for once, is full of unshakable conviction. It's so direct and loud that it actually made Asano falter in the moment.

Still yet, it's not enough to stop him completely. His mocking smile came back, more crooked than ever as he stepped over Shuichi, legs on either side of him as he crouched low enough to stare him down. “I think you're forgetting who you're talking to here”

WHAP.

A slap hard enough to knock him breathless fell across his cheeks.

“I'll talk about whoever I please and I'll be damned-”

SMACK.

“- If some little runt-”

Shuichi could feel the way the flesh of his cheeks began to turn raw with pain.

“- like you -”

Tears sprang to his eyes and he found himself begging for your embrace, for something warm to take away this pain.

“- is going to tell ME what I CAN and CANNOT do.”

He watched as his tormentor swung his hand back, gathering enough force to ensure that this attack would far outrival his others in terms of amount of pain inflicted. Shuichi squeezed his eyes shut as that hand came reeling back down towards him and he braced himself for the impact.

He waited with bated breath for the moment that hand would descend upon him, large and forceful enough to leave a mark of it's landing across the expanse of his face.

But it never came.

Then he heard a lullaby.

“You see, Asano-” the sound of your voice makes Shuichi's eyes pop open. It felt like mirage when he first saw it but there was no mistaking it, you were there and you had his abuser’s wrist in your hand as though it were a trophy of your triumph.

“The difference between you and I in regards to how we treat Shuichi-” you spoke, beginning to bend the larger boy's arm behind his back, an action he cries out painfully at.

“ - is consent.” you finished in a hiss,  bringing his other arm to join in your twisting endeavours.  

“Everything I do to Shuichi are things he's asked for or agreed to.” you stated. “You however, are a disgusting bully bent on making those less powerful than you miserable. You want them to quake when they see you because fear is the only way you know how to control people”

“You crazy… bitch! Let me...go!” Asano cries, trying and failing to wriggle out of your grasp. Any help he could've gotten in this situation ran out on him like spooked cattle the minute you showed up. He was truly alone and at your mercy.

Shuichi had to wonder what it must have been like to have the tables flipped like this. How powerless he must have felt right then. He could have empathized and told you to stop but somehow he was just… so transfixed on the image of power you exuded in front of him. Here you were with someone who had tortured him for years by the balls and breaking him down in front of his victim.

“I'll let you go when you apologize to Shuichi”

Apologize to him? Oh, what sweet justice that would be but he could never imagine his bully ever letting those treacherous words fall from his mouth. It didn’t take a trained psychologist to know that Asano would equate an apology to him as an apology to a pile of garbage - completely unnecessary and a waste of his time. Even under these circumstances, where pain was a motivator, Shuichi couldn’t say with complete certainty that you would get him to do it.

“Apologize… to him?” Asano growls, fighting back gasps of pain. “This creepy piece of shit doesn’t deserve it…! And when I get out of this…. I’m going to beat you to a pulp and make him watch…!”

Those words struck a cord deep within him. The mental image of having to watch you go through the pain he did, even more so for having prodded his bully in such a way, made his very being wretch in agony. He didn’t know if he’d be able to stomach that, let alone live with himself if his pathetic nature got you hurt in some way.

“Hmm…” you hummed, eyeing your victim with contempt. “That sounds like a wrong answer to me”

Arms still bent behind his back, you kicked up a leg and pushed Asano’s head down towards the ground, slowly, listening as his bones crackled from the tension but did not break. Shuichi felt himself jump from the sound, wincing as he recalled the many times where his body had conducted a similar macabre melody.  

“Fuck! You crazy asshole, that hurts…!”

“[N..Name]! You don’t have to do this… let’s just go…” his voice was small but the urgency was ever so present in his shaking speech. He could feel the rage emanating from the bully before him and that earlier panic resurfaced on the tip of his tongue the more you pushed him.

“I appreciate the concern, sweetie” you spoke softly, a gentle glint of affection behind that contemptuous glare. “But this is necessary for scumbags like him”

Asano, surprisingly, had nothing to say. Was he finally out of insults? Out of fight?

“Aw, all tuckered out are we?” you mocked, tantalizing him in a childish voice. “Do you understand now how all of your victims have felt? All of those broken noses and fractured arms were because you don’t know how to control yourself”

You went on, speaking words Shuichi had echoed in the caverns of his mind more times than he could count.

“They aren’t responsible for your problem. You aren’t the only one who exists in this world with a complicated home life.”

There’s something about the way you said that. The way your voice faltered in pitch lead Shuichi to believe that this wasn’t just you speaking on his behalf. It felt… personal, and he hadn't the faintest idea why.

“It’s time you started getting over your destructive, self-pitying ways; and you can start by apologizing to Shuichi.”

There's a portion of time that passes where only the sounds of Asano’s haggard breathing echoed around the hallway and nothing more. It's during that time that Shuichi focused his gaze on you. That mocking expression you wore just a while ago was replaced with a hard, steely one. You were really taking this seriously weren't you? He had to wonder if it was because of him or was it something else? Did it… really matter? You were here, saving him from what could have turned into a broken arm or another trip down a flight of stairs for his outburst earlier. You had someone who had beat him down so badly at his knees in front of him. Whether this was for you or for him or for something else it didn’t change the fact that his brain painted this beautiful picture before him as a fairytale; his knight in shining armor having come to his rescue at long last. Perhaps he wasn’t a thing worth saving but you had nonetheless and that would stay in the folds of every beat of his heart until it gave out.

The tale becomes ever sweeter once Asano found the courage to open his mouth.

“I… I’m sorry…”

Did his knight also partake in sorcery? Only a spell of great power could convince the wicked beast to utter such remorse.

“Say his name” you pressed your foot harder against his back.

“Agh…! Shuichi… I’m sorry, Shuichi..”

Well, he had always thought you to be a magical being after all, hadn’t he?

“Uh… uhm…” he hadn’t the faintest idea what to say. A weak and predictable ‘it’s okay’ rested at the base of his throat but he hadn’t the will to force it up. After all this time being subjected to beating after beating, even if a part of him had been melded to believe he deserved it, he couldn’t with any amount of strength console this behavior. So he settled for something else.

“Thank you… for your apology…”  it was the best he could do. A verbal affirmation that he understood what was being said to him. There was no ‘I forgive you’ or ‘It’s fine’ because it wasn’t. It wasn’t at all alright because there had been others beside him - there had been you. You suffered the rumors and the verbal attacks and even if you were capable of defending yourself he imagined that it all must have hurt at some point and hurting you was something he could not forgive.

The idea fresh in his mind coerces him to say something else, to be brave once again. “Could you… apologize to [Name], as well? I know they’re tough-” _they’re amazing_ , he thought “-but I know what you’ve done to them must have hurt after some time… and they deserve so much better than that”

His heart is full of love, adoration and empathy. That combination of affectionate feelings shows on his face as his eyes peer into yours yet again. He wanted you to know that someone was thinking about you, that _he_ was thinking about you far beyond the realm of sexual enchantment. You meant so much to him and perhaps he didn’t have the words right now to admit them to you, still tender in openly admitting these soft, entrapping feelings he held for you; but he would find a way someday to say it wholeheartedly.

Your cold gaze ebs in that moment, looking at him sweetly with a crooked smile, as if your heart too was a bit shy from his words. “You don’t have to ask for that, Shuichi”

You toss Asano to the floor, leaving him there to do whatever he might. Whether that was curl up in a ball and cry or run to the principal you hadn’t the slightest care in the world. Instead of worrying about that you stepped to Shuichi and held out your hand.

“Let’s get you to the nurse”

As he looked up at you once again Shuichi can’t help but repeat his earlier thoughts. _Wow…. they really are like a knight in shining armor… my knight in armor…_

His heart flustered at the thought of claiming you in any way as his own and he was afraid the butterflies in his stomach might fly right out of his ears, tattling to you of his fanciful daydreams. Yet still, he reached out a shaky hand and coveted the warmth of your own - which soon became the warmth of your chest as you pulled him up and into you with one movement, dizzying him ever so, but you were there to catch him. It seemed like you always were, lately.

 

He walked close to you, hand in hand, knowing that this… just might be the start of something truly incredible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No porn this time! Just angst and some fluff here and there, but this chapter was one I enjoyed writing. I feel it's important to show that you, the reader, do care about your little shroom outside of sexual encounters and that your 'psychology experiment' has a bit more depth to it than meets the eye, hehe. 
> 
> A quick note as well, Asano was the second name that popped up into my head and I decided to go with that one as the one I originally picked was a surname of one of the many DR characters. To my knowledge there's no Asano's in DR but I could be forgetting so in case I did this a note to say that the bully character I made up and that character have no correlation. I just got tired of writing "the bully" every ten seconds LOL
> 
> Anyway, hope you guys liked this chapter! As always if you did leave a comment if you want it always makes my day to get your feedback and to know people are actually interested in this weird little thing I concocted LOL
> 
> Hope you all have a lovely day!


	4. Domestic in a Way he Never Knew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi's attached, he knows he is. It's not like it's a problem but once you get attached to someone, you start noticing things about them you didn't quite see before. For Shuichi, he starts to realize that his mischievous, blunt hero might be a bit more somber than he originally thought and it all began with a trip to your house.

The following few weeks of Shuichi’s life felt hazy and unreal. 

Days passed and not a single person laid a hand on him, let alone even looked at him. News of your “attack” on Asano had spread fairly quickly and as an effect, induced a great amount of fear in the student body. Shuichi could see the cautious glances and the way people swiveled out of his direction whenever he walked the halls. They seemed to be able to correlate your sudden violence as a reaction to Shuichi's mistreatment and in an effort to not meet the same fate they steered clear of the boy, careful to even  _ breathe  _ in a wrong way around him.

It was… a strange way to walk the world. Shuichi had to wonder if this is what your reality felt like on a daily basis. People practically tiptoed around him in fear and he knew this behavior extended to you as well. There was certainly… a kind of power in being so feared but as the weeks waned on he couldn’t help but think that this was also an incredibly isolating way to be treated. Conversations would silence instantly the minute he was around whereas before he might become the teased target of hurtful words or completely ignored. Students would go out of there way not to bump into him where before they may have purposefully shoulder checked him just to watch him drop his books or to inflict pain. Shuichi couldn’t say he preferred how he used to be treated… but he wondered how the things he had recently experienced, the things he knew you had been dealing with for so long, affected you. Were you… lonely? He had to wonder.

Acting on his curiosity, Shuichi confronted you about the matter one afternoon when you were sharing lunch.

“[Name]...don't you ever feel lonely being treated the way you are?” he asked, watching your expression carefully.

“Curious about me, are we?” you chuckled, looking at him with a sly smile on your face.

Shuichi felt his cheeks warm ever so slightly. “Well… isn't it natural for me to be interested in my significant other?” he felt his tongue curl shyly around the term,  mouth turning gummy to finally admit the two of you were together. What a wonderful feeling that was.

“I suppose so” you responded. “But what brought this on?”

“It just seems...so discouraging to be looked at in such fear…”

“Maybe I want to be feared” the lack of conviction in your voice lead Shuichi to believe otherwise.

“Forgive me if I'm being too blunt but...I couldn't imagine you wanting to be treated the way you are”

You crooked an eyebrow at him, face devoid of any mischievous indents. “What makes you say that?”

_ It's just the way you are. You're so sweet when you don’t need to be. You bring me food and give me the time of day when I least deserve it. You treat me like an intellectual, you make me feel important!  _ he thought but didn't quite say.

“You're too kind. You cater to people who are weak and stand up against those who are violent”

“Some might say I'm just as violent though, especially with the things I say”

“Well they must be ignorant then..!” Shuichi huffed, displaying a new emotion of irritation that was so unlike him that it caught you off guard.

“I see…” you mused, more quiet than he was used to.

“Ah… I'm sorry if I was too forward” he stuttered, reading your silence as a negative reaction to his outburst.

“Don’t apologize. You're allowed to speak your mind” you soothed him, smile back on your face. “I'm just not used to people seeing my behavior in the way you do, so I guess it surprised me.”

You reached out and lightly pinched his cheek. “I was also pretty surprised to see you being so outspoken. Usually you're a quiet little thing”

Shuichi felt the warmth in his cheeks spread, eyes averting to the ground. “Uhm…yeah...sorry about that”

You laughed again, letting go of him. “What did I say before? You don’t need to apologize. You can speak your mind whenever you want to”

Those words sounded so foreign to him. He was allowed to speak his mind? No one had ever offered him that courtesy before. Normally he was meant to keep his thoughts to himself and endure any kind of opinion other people held in place of his own. He wasn't allowed to think despite all of the thoughts in his head. Yet you wanted him to speak up? To be defiant? Then again was it all so surprising coming from you? You had encouraged him to be better from the moment you met.

Shuichi smiled softly at you. “Thank you, I appreciate that”

“You don't need to thank me. I'd like to see all sides of you, so just be sure to be honest with me, alright?”

He wouldn't dream of lying to you, especially not about something important. “Of course. I wouldn't ever want to be dishonest with you”

“Good, that's what I like to hear.”

A few moments pass in comfortable silence, the two of you munching peacefully on your food, before you spoke again.

“Oh, by the way. How would you feel about coming over to my house after school?”

Shuichi's fluster kicked into high gear at your proposition, throat getting caught on the bit of rice he had in his mouth, and it only grew as he started coughing hard into his hand.

“Uh-oh, careful there Shuichi” you giggled, softly clapping your hand on his back until his coughing fit subsided.

The boy took a moment as he was steadying his breaths to gather his scrambled thoughts. Did you just invite him to your house? Like the place you lived in? You wanted him to go to such a place? Perhaps he should have seen it coming sooner or later but the fact of the matter is that even if he could verbally accept his relationship with you his mind still had a hard time catching up with his mouth. This was all so new and foreign to him, to have someone actually want him around for one reason or another. Not that he didn’t want to go, because God did he, but to be invited to your house had been like culture shock to him.

“Y...You...want to show me your house?” he stuttered, looking to you flustered and still recovering from his choking fit.

“Well more than just show you, I want you to come inside” you chuckled. “But I understand if you don’t want to, I won’t -”

“No, no!” Shuichi jumped on the chance to put your doubts to rest, urgency rising in the depths of his lungs as you started to question him. “I… I would love to see your house. I just.. was a bit surprised is all.”

“Have you never been to someone else’s house before?” you questioned with an inquisitive tilt of the head.

“Ah… a few times when I was younger”  _ when my parents were still alive,  _ he thought “ - but not since then, no”

Moreover to be invited to  _ your  _ house was truly a dream come true. Shuichi had thought about it for the longest time - enjoying lunch with you on your couch, watching TV, far away from his heinous uncle and the rest of the cruel world. Just the two of you in your little pocket of happiness.

“We’ll have to change that then!” you announced with a grin. “Wait for me by the entrance after school and I’ll take you there”

A small smile found its way onto his face, despite the emotion that hammered at  his entire body. “That sounds great. I’ll be waiting…”

The two of you enjoyed the rest of your lunch together and from then on it was a waiting game. However it was a game Shuichi was more than willing to play because of how sweet the reward would be for his patience. After all of this time spent dreaming about the place you lived in, all of this time just wondering what it looked like and where your room might be, he would get to see it all. He would get to meet-...

Oh God, the thought had just dawned on him - he would be meeting your parents!

What would they think of him? Would they even let a shabby looking boy such as himself inside the house? Delight turned to anxiety in a split second and he found himself wishing the day would move along so that he could confront you on the matter.

Eventually the day does come to an end, far too slow for his liking, but after awhile of trudging himself along he soon found himself outside, waiting for you with bated breath and nervousness in his heels as he rocked gently back and forth on the balls of his feet, looking around eagerly for you.

He really needed to talk to you, to be sure this was okay.

He spotted you soon after, coming out with one of the last groups of students. He steadied his rocking feet and made a beeline for you. You locked eyes with him and motioned for him to meet you off to the side of the building, underneath a big tree. Shuichi followed your direction and you joined him once you had shuffled past the crowd of teenagers.

“Hey sweetie, you certainly got out here in a hurry. Excited about today?” you teased.

For once Shuichi was less bashful and far more anxious. “Ah yeah I am…”

“Mm? Sounds like there’s a ‘but’ there” you noted.

“Yes well… what about your parents? Are they… okay with me coming over?” he could feel the way his one eye squinted ever so, afraid of the rejection. Surely this was an oversight you just hadn’t thought of. Once you realized who you would be introducing to your family, surely you would think twice.

“Oh” your voice sounded solemn all of the sudden and Shuichi’s heart dropped. Of course, you forgot didn’t you? Forgot that you would have to introduce your parents to the most pitiful sophomore at the school.

“That won’t be a problem. I live alone, actually”

_ W...what? _

“You… live alone?”

You nodded and Shuichi found that once he looked, your expression matched your solemn tone. “My dad left my mom when I was young and my mom… isn’t ever home, really. She sends me money and pays my rent but that’s about it”

There was only one thought that came to Shuichi’s mind hearing your explanation:  _ how lonely… _

Though he supposed it was better than finding out you were being beaten or mistreated like he was. That was a horrible way to live life and even if you might have been lonely, he was glad you didn’t have the physical scars to prove it too.

“I’m sorry to hear that…” he spoke softly, wanting nothing more than to comfort you but somehow his legs just didn’t want to move.

“It’s alright, I’ve gotten used to it” you smiled but Shuichi could see the strain, no matter how you tried to hide it. “But on that note actually, are your parents alright with it?”

“Ah…” Shuichi’s tongue caught in his throat. There was no way he could tell you about his uncle, not right now, not the whole thing but something in him so desperately wanted to. Something deep within him was fighting against his urge to keep quiet.

“What is it, Shuichi? You look sick” your gaze was inquisitive and Shuichi could feel himself getting uncomfortable the longer he stirred in silence, afraid you might figure it out on your own if he didn’t say anything soon. 

  
“I actually lost my parents when I was young... it’s just me and my uncle now” and what a crying shame that was. 

He didn’t miss the way your brows drooped, your eyes softened and your mouth slipped into a slight pout in response to his confession. “Aw Shuichi… I’m really sorry to hear that. That’s rough”

“Oh, it’s okay. It’s been a while now” it wasn’t okay no matter how much time passed. “It’s just that my uncle is a bit...ah, strict. He wants me back before a certain time” 

That fact had completely slipped his mind when you had first invited him over, the elation of finally being invited over to your house completely bypassing the fear of the beating he would get if he was home too late to make his uncle dinner.

“Well that’s fine, I’ll just make sure you leave before then, alright? Unless you’d rather not risk it?” the way you emphasized the word  _ risk  _ made his paranoid mind believe that you might already have figured out that this was far more than his uncle just being strict.

He managed to keep something of his composure despite that though and lightly shook his head. “No, I really would like to go home with you. It’s as you said, as long as I’m home before that time then I’m fine”

You graced him with a small, understanding smile. “Alright, as long as you’re sure”

“I am” he decided, returning your smile.

“Let’s get going then! We have to catch the train to my house” you wrapped your fingers into his. “C’mon boyfriend” you giggled, tugging on his hand ever so.

Just as with any other time you had teased him in the past, his cheeks lit up and he could feel his insides fumbling to control these common but still very new sensations he was feeling. His fingers wrapped back into yours and he let you to lead him to the train.

The ride felt short but when the two of you emerged from underneath the station, the street signs alerted him as to how far away he actually was from his own house. The thought unnerved him some but as long as he watched the time, he could enjoy his afternoon with you.

“So, uhm, did you have anything in mind?” he asked, hand still intertwined with yours.

“I figured just some take out and a day in might be nice. We could watch that show you like - what was it - Danganronpa?”

Shuichi swallowed a lump in his throat the minute you mentioned the name. “You knew about that?”

“Obviously, silly” you laughed. “The whole school knows you watch it during class”

“Ah… ha… is that so?”

It wasn’t so much that he was ashamed for watching it on his own time, because he wasn’t, but he knew that public opinion on a show like Danganronpa was extremely divided and he wasn’t quite sure what side of the fence you were on about it.

“You don’t have to worry about it, I don’t really care” you shrugged, answering his hidden question. “If a group of people really want to offer themselves up to die or potentially live through and become a new person then that’s up to them. In a world like this I can’t really say I blame them…”

That way of thinking very much mimicked his own. Except… Danganronpa offered something a bit more to Shuichi. He felt a connection to the series and it’s characters. Knowing that these were kids who had possibly been through similar situations to himself and wanted so much to change themselves, even if it meant death, was something he could relate to. Seeing what type of characters they became was… inspiring! They changed without having to do anything at all. They would be remembered without having to do anything more than stay true to the person they had been morphed into, whether that meant killing or not. Some part of him knew that was a distorted way of looking at it but the show had given him a means to strive forward. That maybe one day when he had enough courage he could sign up and leave behind this life that so badly wanted to be rid of him, to be something better.

It was funny though… he hadn’t been having those thoughts as much since he met you. He was too preoccupied with your company to really think about it.

“I’m glad to hear that, actually. Some people get a little crazy whenever that show is brought up” he chuckled sheepishly, scratching at the back of his neck.

“I don’t exactly blame those people for feeling that way, either. I guess I understand both points of view on the matter”

Well, that was better than just having an adverse point of view, he supposed.

“I guess I find it interesting in a way myself, though. I always wonder what kind of person it takes to be part of a show like that and how much of their real personality is left over after they’ve been brainwashed. If I ever got the chance I’d like to pick their brain after they send in their audition tape”

Somehow that response didn’t surprise him. After the extended amount of time he’s spent having lunch with you he actually expected an answer that sounded something like that. Involuntarily a smile slips onto his face as he felt a bit giddy about getting to know aspects of the real you that you didn’t keep hidden behind a taunting smirk.

“What’s the smile for?” you chuckled, having caught him in the act.

“N...Nothing...I just…like hearing what you have to say” he admitted, squeezing your hand a bit tighter.

“Aww, cutie~” you cooed, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

As Shuichi’s seemingly permanent blush fanned farther over his face you lead him over to your house, having finally closed in on it. Creepy as it may have been, Shuichi took this time to remember the street and the number of your house for...scientific purposes. It wasn’t like he was going to break in while you were sleeping or some weird thing like that he liked having the knowledge just in case something were to happen to you or you asked him to come over.

“This is me” you announced, pulling out your keys and slipping one into the lock, opening the door soon after.

After having stepped in Shuichi noted that your house was of modest size, having been able to infer that from the outside as well. The living room was fairly spacious, a sleek black couch in the middle of it, with a modern looking TV set just beyond a glass coffee table, separating it and the couch. Behind that was a long counter top that designated the start of the kitchen, where a moderately sized dining table, big enough for at least six people, rested. The last thing he noted was that there was a small set of stairs leading up to what he assumed was most likely the bedrooms.

It wasn’t exactly what he had pictured in his mind but the real thing was definitely better. It felt more homey than the mansion he imagined you to have and he certainly felt more at home in this place than the imaginary one he had cooked up.

“You can leave your shoes by the door and there’s a coat rack on the back of the door for your bag” you gestured to the door behind you after having slipped off your shoes.

“Oh, thank you” he slipped off his shoes, placing them next to yours and then hung up his bag before stepping a bit more into the house, closer to the couch.

“What do you want to eat, Shuichi? There’s a bunch of places we can choose from” you asked, pulling out a handful of menus. He had to wonder if you ate out often to have that many menus.

“Uhm...pizza sounds good?” he tried, not exactly used to ordering out. His uncle did, often, but Shuichi wasn’t ever allowed to have any. Usually he was stuck with whatever he could find in the kitchen or nothing at all if his guardian saw fit.

“You sure? There’s a whole bunch of stuff we can order like burgers, pasta, seafood. Anything you want really” you stated, looking over the menus in front of you.

“Pizza is fine with me, really. Unless… you wanted to get something different?” he asked, watching your expression.

“Not really, just letting you know you had options” you tilted your head up to give him an encouraging wink and he almost fell against the couch. “So pizza it is! Any kind of pizza? Meatball? Bacon? Pepperoni? Mac and cheese?”

_ They make mac and cheese pizza? Interesting. _

“Ah actually, could I look? I’ve never even heard of half of these flavors” he chuckled lightly, making his way into the kitchen.

“Sure, here you go” you handed off the menu to him.

Shuichi took the menu and gave himself a few minutes to go over it. There really were an alarming amount of different types of pizzas. The last time he had ordered pizza was a while ago, when his parents were still alive, and as far as options went there weren’t nearly as many as there were now. The most intricate type he could remember was the supreme flavor, but as he looked at the modern day selections before his eyes he came to realize that they far surpassed the ones of his childhood.

“Anything catch your eye?”

“Ah, I suppose a white slice sounds good”

“Nice choice, your half of the pie will be white then”

“My half?” he looked to you incredulously, eyes nearly popping out of their sockets.

“Yeah silly” you said with a smile. “We’re each getting a half. Don’t tell me you thought you were only getting one slice?”

“Ah… I kind of… did, actually?” it seemed he constantly forgot who he was dealing with, too used to the normalities of deprivation that were his everyday life.

“Come on now, would I do that to you?” you asked, head in your palm as you tilted it ever so.

It’s then that it dawns on him - even though he knows this - that you are far from any kind of person he’s known. You would only do what was fair by him and that was a concept he would have to take time to get used too.

“I… I suppose not” he replied.

In the midst of all of his other thoughts he found himself thinking back on all the hearty lunches you had made for him over the past few months. You seemed intent on getting him to eat and once you figured out what he liked you made variations of those meals every day. Thinking about it brought a smile to his face.

“Exactly! So, now that you know what you want I’ll go ahead and call. You can go get comfy on the couch and set up the TV” you directed, walking over to the landline phone and dialing the number on the menu.

Shuichi nodded, following your directions and walked over to the TV and turned it on. As he flipped through the stations, eventually finding the channel he was looking for, he couldn’t help but think about how domestic this all was, how normal and sweet. His heart felt light and giddy to know that he’d be spending an afternoon with you in your home. That for once he was being welcomed into somewhere and being treated kindly. He could enjoy a meal with you, watch his favorite show and for how simple of a day that was, it was something he thought he could only dream of. It seemed like ever since he met you his world had just completely changed and he often found himself wondering how one, wonderful person, could make his life so different. But you did it and he welcomed it.

He waited eagerly for you on the couch, having heard you say your thank yous and soon after hang up the phone. He heard the gentle pacing of your footsteps on the tile before you had reached the couch.

“Should be here in a bit” you noted, plopping yourself down on the couch.

What you did next threw Shuichi’s heart into a tizzy.

Unprompted, you let your body flop onto it’s side, your head landing perfectly in his lap.

“Ah..! Uhm…! Do...do you want me to move?” he asked, face blaringly hot in that moment, heart positively jumping from the contact. 

“Nope, you can stay right where you are” you yawned. “I usually take a nap after school and now I have the perfect pillow to use”

“Oh….” so that’s what he was then? Your pillow? If that meant he was being useful to you, if it meant you would stay this close to him then he had no qualms with being a pillow. In fact he found it rather adorable the way you nuzzled into his lap.

“Is that alright?” you turned over just slightly, peeping an eye up at him.

Oh, it was more than alright. You could use him for anything you wanted and he would be absolutely fine with it. If it meant you stayed close to him, kept being so kind to him then he would do anything. “Yes… that’s fine” he mumbled, still a bit nervous.

“Good, because I didn’t really want to move” you chuckled airly, apparently already lulling into the clutches of slumber. “You can wake me up if you need something and when the food gets here”

“Okay, I will. Thank you” he responded, watching as you rolled back over and presumably closed your eyes.

Even though Danganronpa was blaring in the background Shuichi found it hard to focus on anything except for you and the gentle heave of your body as your breaths evened out. You felt so peaceful against him, like the sense of comfort a pet brought when they laid against you. Not that he ever thought of you like his pet - in fact if anything the roles were very much reversed in that regard - but the feeling was the same. Your weighted presence against him made him feel safe and moreover he was happy you felt at ease enough to sleep around him, on him nonetheless. He just liked being useful to you, being needed by you. God he really was whipped but you made it so easy for him to be infatuated with you. Even if that infatuation had long since progressed into something deeper.

For a while he just watched you, as creepy as that may have been, but he meant it innocently. After some time he notices the way your breathing has become steady, alerting him to the fact you had probably fallen asleep by then.

_ They must be really tired… oh, and they look so cute like that. What an adorable face…  _ he thought, smiling gently to himself, full of adoration and love for you.

He had this itching urge to reach out and play with your hair, to twirl it around his fingers and feel how soft it probably was. The only problem was that he didn’t want to wake you up, which he might if he did that. He battled with himself for some time before his initial urge won out and he gently placed a hand on your head, fingers softly tangling in your hair. Just as he thought, it was soft to the touch.

He panicked for a moment when you groaned ever so softly and nuzzled your head closer to his hand, afraid he had woken you. However, your lack of reply and the continued heave of your chest let him know that you were still very much asleep. His fingers weaved gently back into your hair and every soft push of your head against his hand only encouraged him, bringing a smile to his face. How were you so cute? You could be dominant and downright sexy in his mind but still be every bit adorable as you were right now. Perhaps it was because you were showing him a more vulnerable state of yourself but he couldn’t help but feel blessed to see such a side of you.

_ So cute _ … he thought, relishing the sight of you looking so at ease.

 

  
Things stayed like that for a while. In fact Shuichi very much hoped the food might never arrive and you might never stir from this position because he could live in this moment forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey fam! I know this is a painfully weird way to end a chapter but it was getting very long because I decided to throw smut into this section of the story so the chapter I'm working on now - which would have been the tail end of this - has expanded far beyond what it was supposed to be. Rather than wait I figured I'd just chop it in half and put this one out first. SO you get fluff and smut which is great because things get a little sad soon LOL 
> 
> Anyway, if you liked this leave a comment and let me know how you feel! Have a great day!


	5. Sweet before Sour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (direct continuation of chapter 4) 
> 
> You sit down with Shuichi to watch his favorite show and in return for that, later make a snack out of him. Yet, it's not like it can all last for very long, can it?

After some time the food did arrive, much to Shuichi's dismay, as you stirred when the doorbell rang and excused yourself from his lap. Even if he had grown hungry after a while that place in time that he found, with you sleeping soundly against him,  was just far too sweet. 

“Do you need any help?” he asked after you had collected the pizza and closed the door.

“Nope, I got it” you smiled, pizza box sandwhiched between your hand and stomach, while you carried the soda by the nozzle between two fingers in the other hand. Carefully you made your way over, placing both of the items on the table and resuming your place next to Shuichi.

“So, what did I miss while I was sleeping?” you inquired, opening the box and passing a slice to him, which he took graciously.

“Not much, really” he said after a moment, trying to remember what he had picked up from the few times he did tune in. “I think it’s building up to the next murder. Right now, the main character seems to be getting to know their classmates”

“Still? I was out for at least half an hour”

“Ah well, given the nature of the show most episodes run for an hour, sometimes two if it’s a lengthy one” he explained, munching on a bite of his pizza afterwards.

“That so? I guess that makes sense. They can predict things to a point but not always everything I suppose”

“Yes but, it’s really quite amazing how much they set up don’t you think?” Shuichi gushed, a familiar sense of energy rushing through his viens that came whenever he thought about the show. “I mean when you think about it, it’s nothing short of amazing. They take these kids who may have had nothing before this and turn them into these memorable characters! They give them personalities and have them follow a script without even knowing it! They play their parts perfectly and authentically, in a show that everyone can enjoy”

He didn’t realize it, too enthralled with singing the show’s praises, but his cheeks had reddened considerably and a sizeable amount of drool had begun to leak out of the corner of his mouth. “

“The murders are so well thought out and so are the executions. Ahh… I would love to pitch one to the team some day” he sighed as though he were a schoolboy in love, dreamy and breathless.

“Hehe, you really like this show, don’t you?” you chuckled, reaching over and wiping the bit of drool sliding down his chin - which he was immensely embarrassed about once he realized it was there - and wiping it off on your shirt.

“I… uhm…” he stuttered as he realized just how far his praise had gone. “Yes... I do”

“Don’t be ashamed, we all have our vices” you soothed. “So, why don’t you go on? I don’t watch it on a regular basis so I don’t really know who all the characters are or what’s happened”

The light that had dimmed in his eyes flickered back to life, as if you had just flipped a switch. No one had ever catered to his weird fascination with this show. Anyone who knew he liked it usually just called him a creep or that he “had a fetish for deranged shit” as one student put it - which wasn’t entirely false -  but getting to talk about something that he invested so much time in was a luxury he had just found.

“Really?” he beamed, but then sullened as a thought dawned on him. “I mean I… don’t want to bore you”

“No really! I want to hear about it” you smiled, reaching a hand out to twirl a lock of his hair around your finger. “I like when my little Shuichi gets excited. It’s cute~”

His heart was actually going to fall out of his chest one of these days and you were absolutely going to be at fault for it. He felt like that lock of his hair, wrapped around your finger. Would he really have had it any other way though? He didn’t think so.

At your encouragement Shuichi carried on through the low points of the show. He would point to characters as they appeared and give you an insight to their persona and what they had revealed about themselves thus far. He also brought you up to speed on the story and who had been killed, which was about four students as two killings had occurred.

“Oh! I think this is it!” he annouced suddenly, eyes glued to the screen. Ominous music played in the background as the main character went to open the door to the game room. He could feel the tension crawling up his skin as she called out for her compainion thought to be in the room. She toggled the door handle and slowly pushed it open.

“Aki?” she called.

Then a shrill shreik filled the air as the camera panned onto what the girl was seeing. There in the game room was her friend, strung up by a makeshift noose made out of controller wire. A haunting sound played over the reveal, sure to send shiver’s down the audience’s spine. Hearing her scream, a few more students rushed in to join her, shocked by what they saw. It was at this time that a very out of place, happy sounding chime resounded throughout the room and a black and white bear appeared on the screen in front of the protagonist, announcing that a body had been discovered.

“Yes! I knew it!” Shuichi cheered as the screen faded to black and the credits rolled.

“You knew that was going to happen?”

“Yes! Aki has been saying for some time about how he doesn’t like to play video games”

“Oh yeah, because his brother played video games? And then he killed himself after playing a really dark one that had a shitty subliminal message that made players commit suicide?”

“Exactly, and the only reason it kept coming up was because the main character kept trying to get him to relax by playing a game with her. It only seems fitting that if he was going to be murdered, it would be in the game room”

“So you don’t think it was a suicide?”

“No, the killer is probably trying to recreate the scene that happened to his brother so that it looks that way. It’s the perfect crime”

“Oooh, smart Shuichi. Any ideas about who did it?”

“Mmm…” Shuichi racked his brain for a moment. “It would be quite a twist if it was the guy Aki had a crush on”

“The tall blond haired guy? Yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised. He’s just… too perfect and a little weird. He knows exactly what to say and he seems like a perfect gentleman but… you have to wonder how much of that pandering is his actual personality” you assessed.

“That’s what I was thinking. And how cruel would it be for Aki to be killed by the guy he likes?”

“Extremely, and that’s what brings in the ratings” you snorted.

Shuichi had the exact opposite reaction. “It’s such a good show...”

He sighed once more in utter satisfaction and he heard you chuckle quietly at him.

“So that’s it until it airs again?” you asked.

“Yes, the next episode will likely be the investigation and the execution” he clarified.

“Well we’ll have to be sure to watch it then” you smiled.

Shuichi felt his chest swell in happiness, a smile breaking out across his face as he looked at you. You truly were a blessing. “Really? You want to?”

“Of course! That was pretty interesting and I kind of want to see what happens next”

He felt so relieved, so elated. He got to share his passion with the one he loved. What a wonderful afternoon. “I’m so glad. I was… afraid you were going to hate it”

“Even if I did, I would’ve stuck through it for you” you shrugged, moving the empty pizza box off to the side of the table and effectively missing the subtle glint of tears that collected in the corners of his eyes.

How could you be so sweet? So wonderful? So-

“You know what I do hate though?”

His heart dropped in questioning horror. He was afraid there might be real reason for his tears now.

He hesitantly opened his mouth. “Wh...what?”

“That we didn’t think about ordering desert” you stated with a chuckle.

Shuichi felt his heart unsqueeze. Confirmed: you absolutely were going to kill him.

“I could really go for something sweet…” you mused. “Although-”

Right in that moment Shuichi found himself flat against the couch, back on the cushions. A squeak left his lips at the impact, at the way you were looking at him. The gaze in your eyes was sinuously seductive, ready to devour his very soul should you have the chance. He watched your tongue slip out over your lips and his chest heaved at the sudden excitement building up in his body.

“-I could just have you for dessert.” you murmured bewitchingly, leaning into his ear. “What do you think about that Shuichi?”

“Oh  _ please _ …” he whined, shivering as you ran your tongue over the shell of his ear. It was amazing how fast his body reacted to your touch, how quickly he could feel the heat fuming underneath his skin.

Deep sighs left his mouth as you kissed along his jawline, venturing down to his neck. You kissed over the skin there as well, teasing his sensitive flesh and when you heard his breath hitch in just the slightest way you bit down ever so slightly, releasing a loud, squeaky moan from the boy.  

“Aah!”

You sucked heartily at the spot you bit, pulling the flesh into your mouth and letting your tongue swath over it. Shuichi’s entire body wriggled at the pleasurable sensation. He threw a hand over you to clutch the back of your shirt and his other hand wrapped into your hair, overcome with a need to hold onto something.

“Don...aah..don’t stop….please don’t stop” he panted, already so heated just from this alone.

You found a few more spots on his neck, darkening them until it was visible, before you smothered his lips with your own, an action he fell in love with the moment he felt the passion behind it. He could feel the sensual power you exerted fan over his entire body as it took over every bit of his senses. He felt like he was being devoured and God did he want to be. He pushed back against that feeling, lips against yours as he craved more and more of your affection.

Your tongue slithered into his openly moaning mouth and pushed against his, to which he responded by flicking his back against yours. He could feel a glob of drool running down his chin as he kept his eager mouth open for you. He was a mess, a panting, moaning mess and he loved it, he loved every bit of this.

Shuichi whined when your lips departed from his own, even as his breathing ran ragged. He looked up at you with hazy, flustered eyes, feeling his stomach pool in warmth as you pressed your nose against his - an inherently innocent action.

“Tasty~” you breathed, flicking your tongue against his bottom lip as if to emphasize what you were talking about. “But… there are ways to make you sweeter. If you’re interested?”

The playful glint in your eyes was something he had grown accustomed to. It was the same as when you jerked him off or invited him to eat you out. That look always meant something more was coming, meant that a euphoria unlike anything he has experienced before was just around the corner.

“Ah… uhm… what would that be?” he stuttered, flustered but eager.

You smiled, devious, and climbed off of him. “Come with me”

You extended a hand to help him off the couch and he took it graciously, finding that his legs wobbled when he finally got to a standing and he very much needed the extra support to stay upright. Gently you lead him to your kitchen table and gestured for him to climb on it. He followed your orders, looking down at you a bit questioningly as you stood in front of him.

Your fingers closed in around the buttons of his jacket, popping open each one. “All of your clothes need to come off”

“A-All of them?” he sputtered, insecurity biting at his heels as he thought about you seeing his fully nude body in the broad light of day.

“Mmhmm~” you hummed. “You’re about to get quite messy, my love”

The endearing term and the way your lips met his again melted him into a state of complacency. He still wasn’t thrilled about you seeing his less than impressive form but you didn’t seem to mind and… he did really want to know what you wanted to do with him, because really anything you did to him was heaven.

At some point, faster than Shuichi could even recognize, you had stripped him bare, leaving his naked butt on your kitchen table and his body fully exposed to you.

“Ah...u-uhm…” he stuttered, watching you take in every bit of him, eyes trailling his form right down to his erect cock that had peaked during your makeout session. He wanted to hide himself from you, wrap his arms around himself and ask you to stop looking, stop staring at him like that.

“Such a cute body you have” you cooed, running your hands up his legs and around to his bottom, where you squeezed at his cheeks, making him jump. “Mm, you’ve gotten a bit more plump back here. Guess the food is working after all”

He had noticed that a while back, the way his pants were starting to tighten on him. It was embarrassing at first but his suit was enough to hide it so he let it go as long as he didn’t have to buy new pants. You certainly didn’t seem to mind, so that was a bonus.

“I’m surprised no one’s all over you, Shuichi. You’re really very attractive” you praised, as if sensing his worry.

“You...you think so?”

“Of course I do, silly” you pressed a kiss to his chest, right over his heart and he felt like he could faint in that moment. “Too bad for anyone else, though. You’re  _ mine _ now”

Oh… oh God did that make his heart skip a beat, made all of his insides turn to jelly and his stomach flip. You had claimed him in other ways, long before you had even gotten intimate or had even spoken to him but to hear you say it like that, so assertive, oh he loved it so much. He was yours, always would be.

“So my tasty little snack, do you want me to make you even sweeter?” you hummed, looking up at him with a teasingly inquisitive stare.

He nodded slowly. “Y-Yes… please, make me anything you want”

“Lay down on the table then” you instructed - and he did so - before you walked over to the fridge.

From his place on the table he tried to crane his neck to see what you could possibly be getting out of there but the position of your body obstructed what you were grabbing. It didn’t take long to figure out however as you soon returned and in your one hand was a bottle of whipped cream and in the other was a jar of honey.

“What… are those for?” he eyed the containers pleadingly, hoping you were going to use them for what he thought you were.

You leaned down next to his ear, whispering into it. “I’m going to drizzle these over your entire body and lick it off inch by inch”

His entire body convulsed in a shiver as the thought that bloomed in the back of his mind once he saw the jars, came to fruition. You really were going to make him your own snack, weren’t you? Oh, he couldn’t wait. He wanted your lips all over him, for you to swallow every inch of him if you so pleased.

“Oh please...please eat me….” he groaned.

“Don’t worry” you swiped a bit of honey out of the jar with your finger, and smeared it on his lips. “I will” and you were back to the same hungry dance as before, one he happily waltzed in.

“Mm-mm!” he squeaked against your lips as you spread a glob of honey over his chest, the cold sensation settling uncomfortably over his nipples. Your hand didn’t stop there however, it traveled lower, spreading honey as it went, lower and lower until you had reached the base of his shaft. You coated your fingers once more in the sticky substance and rubbed it up the length of his cock.

He gasped into your mouth, thrusting into the feeling and growing even more aroused as the thought crossed his mind that you would be sucking the sweet syrup off of him later. Oh he wanted it, he wanted it so bad that he could cum just from the thought!

“Oh God” he moaned into your mouth. “It feels wonderful…”

He could feel you giggle against his lips and soon enough your lips were elsewhere, kissing down his neck, nipping ever so gently at his collarbone - which he delightfully jumped at - before you found your way to the beginning of the trail of honey and started licking over his chest. He watched you, felt the sweet wetness of your tongue dance along his body, savoring him. Your tongue trailed to a pert nipple and he gasped when you pulled it in between your lips.

“Ah..ahm!” he squeaked, growing weaker underneath you the more you did to him.

Moans flowed out of his mouth like breaths as you suckled the button on his chest, tongue swirling around it and the suction of your lips puckered it even more so. You eventually trailed to the other nipple, giving it the same treatment as you fingered the forgotten one, pulling at it ever so slightly in a way that made Shuichi’s chest heave with delight, back arching up into the feeling.

“Th-that’s so…-ah! [Name]!” he cried out in surprise when you pulled the sensitive nub in between your teeth, nibbling on it ever so. It didn’t hurt so much as the odd sensation caught him off guard more so.

“Too much?” you murmured around his nipple.

“N-No… not at all… I just w...wasn’t expecting it is all” he panted, unable to form a full sentence without having to take a breath.

“Oh good, so that was a good cry then?” you chuckled airily, parting from his nipple with a soft pop.

“A..ah… yes” he breathed as you continued paving your way down his body, letting his poor nipples have a bit of a break.

Shuichi either squirmed when your tongue licked over a particularly ticklish place or arched up into your mouth when you started sucking at certain parts of his skin. Oh, how he adored this attention, loved the way your mouth claimed him inch by inch, leaving little marks all over his body. He loved the way the heat of your mouth turned him into a moaning, heaving, sensitive mess.

He yiped when your tongue delved into the small cavern that was his belly button, face blaring in heat at the unfamiliar feeling. “Ah! [N-Name]! Th-That’s…!”  

He felt you chuckle lowly against his skin, continuing to dart your tongue around the shallow hole even as he lightly protested by squirming his body. He pursed his lips, whining as you continued to tease him there, apparently having found something akin to bodily kryptonite.

Luckily once you had your fill of teasing him - which was something he was inwardly aroused by; that you didn’t take his whining for an answer - you fled lower, licking and licking until you reached of one of the sweetest parts on his body. Shuichi groaned, low and soft, as he watched your tongue trail around the base of his cock, absolutely aching for you to scarf him down whole. In his wildest dreams he had never imagined this fantasy ever coming to fruition and to have you so close just drove him wild.

“Eager now, are we?” you smirked in response to his verbal expression of pleasure.

“Oh yes… please, [Name]”

“Please what?”

His face grew hotter, but his desperation also grew the longer your tongue wasn’t wrapped around his cock. “Please…! Please use your tongue…! Y-You can eat as much a-as you want just…. please, have me…” he begged, voice hitching and jumping the more he pleaded.

“Such a good boy~” you praised, making his heart swell. “You certainly know how to beg and for that you’ll get a reward~”

You reached over and grabbed the bottle of whipped cream. You shook it in front of him, making sure he got a very clear hint about what you were planning to do. You popped open the cap and sprayed a line of foam down his throbbing cock, sweetening him.

“Now you’re ready”

“O-Ohh!”

That was when you fulfilled one of his most recurring fantasies. You licked a hot stripe up his member - taking the whip cream and honey with you - before you settled at his head, sucking there as you mixed the salty taste of his precum with the savory flavors already in your mouth. His body reacted entirely independent from him, hips lurching up into the feeling as he  _ mewled  _ for you. Oh how he wanted this, dreamed of this, pined for this!

“P-Please! More! Don...don’t stop! It feels… s-so... good!” he cried out, desperate for you.

He felt another low chuckle, the hum reverberating around his cock as you sucked at the head of his erection a little while longer. Then, you trailed your tongue once more around the whole of it, collecting the sweet treats lining it before you returned and bobbed your head down onto his cock, taking in half of him in one swallow. He could say he tried to mind himself, to watch his thrusts so as not to choke you but he was so far gone that the minute he was in your mouth he lurched into the feeling. You grabbed his hips, steadying him and holding him down - and fuck was that hot - as you continued to service him.

_ So... so beautiful! Their tongue feels so good around me! They’re so talented…I… I don’t think I’ll last much longer like this. The pressure is too much! _

Shuichi was a writhing, moaning mess. He cried out into the space of your living room without a care in the world - with naught the will to hold himself back from this euphoria. The inside of your mouth was so warm and you knew just how to use that pretty mouth of yours. He didn’t stand a chance of holding out for very long, not when you had already riled him up so much prior to this.

“Gon...gonna...cum!” he could barely get the words out as the heat constricted in his stomach and before he knew it that tightly wound coil exploded and his load came shooting out into your mouth.

“Ah-aaah!” his breath hitched in a pitchy, strangled moan as he experienced absolute pleasure, dissolving into pants sometime after as he came down, slowly, from the high he experienced. His mouth was an overflowing well of praise for you. All he could think to do, manage to do, was recite your name over and over again in lovestruck murmurs and tell you how wonderful that was - how heavenly it felt for you to do this to him.

He heard you giggle again and through his hazy consciousness he felt the warmth of your lips on his forehead.

“[N-Name]...that was amazing…” he murmured once more.

“I know” you chuckled. “You’ve been saying that ever since you came, love”

“I… I can’t help it… I’ve never felt like this before…” he smiled up at you, sweet and full of love.

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed that then” you pressed a soft kiss to his lips, melting him even further with your tenderness. “But we need to get you cleaned up, sweetheart. I’ll help you to the shower”

You took his hand, much like you had when you lead him off the couch earlier, and steadied him as he stumbled climbing off the table.

“Actually, it might just be easier to do this” you eyed him mischievously.

Before Shuichi could think to ask what you were going to do - what else you could possibly do to him - he soon found that the ground was not underneath him anymore. Instead, his legs were in your arms, as well as the rest of his body.

“O-Oh!” he stuttered, heart leaping in a giddy whirl at this development.

“You’re so light, Shuichi. We really need to get more meat on you” you teased, making your way to where he assumed was the bathroom.

“You… you didn’t have to carry me, you know” he pointed out, even if he did enjoy it thoroughly.

“Well, we’re already here so it’s a bit late for that” you laughed, nudging the slightly ajar door open with your body. Once inside you set the boy down, allowing him to climb into the tub. “I’ll grab your clothes, so you can go ahead and get started”

Shuichi couldn’t help but smile to himself as he watched you leave to fetch his clothes. He felt warm, even before the rush of hot water settled in around him, and happy. You really were like a dream come true for him. You returned shortly after, providing him a towel and setting his clothes on the sink. After that he was left alone to ponder his thoughts about how wonderful you were, smile seemingly permanently etched into his face.

However, in his mental journey, he did return to an earlier idea he had:

_ And they say they want to be feared? They don’t have to treat me like this… they didn’t have to sit down with me and watch my favorite show or show me such affection. They didn’t even need to invite me to their house or start dating me in the first place! _

Yet you did. You took this broken boy into your life and gave him a reason to look forward to waking up in the morning. Hell, it had been the first time in years that he was actually excited about going to school! Perhaps you were teasing and forward but that was all of what he liked about you and you had no shortage of kindness for him despite all of that.

So, as he sat there in your tub, half heartedly scrubbing away the evidence of what the two of you had just done, Shuichi came to a definitive opinion on the matter: you didn’t want to be feared. Something had happened to make you so verbally guarded and attentive to the world around you. Whatever it was, if it ever came to light during his time with you he would accept it and he would talk with you about it, should you so chose, and do all he could to assure you he… loved you, really loved you despite it all. His smile grew wider as he thought about it… telling you he loved you. He practically had already with the way he reacted to you but… maybe one day he could actually say the words.

 

\------------

 

After some time Shuichi finished his bath, dried off and dressed himself. When he walked out of the bathroom he found you idle on the couch, playing some kind of video game he hadn’t seen before. 

Your head turned towards him, lips curved in a smile as you paused your game. “All clean?”

He chuckled, nodding in response. “Yes, very much so”

“Good” you smiled.

Then… you reminded him this day had a time limit.

“Oh, by the way Shuichi, when did you need to be home? It’s getting pretty late” you asked, eyes trailing over to the digital clock on your entertainment stand.

“Oh, well…”

His eyes followed yours, over to the clock, and his stomach could have dropped out through his bowels. It was 7:30pm exactly and his uncle would be home in half an hour. He would come home to no dinner, no Shuichi and he  _ wasn’t _ going to be happy about that.

“Oh no…!” his breath caught in a hitch, too terrified by the reality to hide his panic from you.

“What’s wrong sweetie?” your face contorted into an expression of worry that he had never quite seen before but he had no time to relish it.

“I-I’m going to be late! He’s going to be so upset!” he panicked, grabbing at his suit in an effort to ground himself to something - anything.  

“Woah, woah, calm down, Shuichi” you soothed, setting aside your controller to get up and comfort him. Your hands rubbed along his arms in an attempt to soothe him but he couldn’t stop the shaking. “What needs to happen here, huh? You obviously need to get home but there’s something else, isn’t there?”

“I-I was supposed to have made dinner...even if I get home in time there’s… there’s no way I can..” he felt light headed and short of breath, like his whole world was collapsing in around him. He was used to beatings yes, but he had never outright defied his uncle to earn them. This would be the first time he had ever not cooked a meal on time.

“Hey, hey sssh, it’s going to be alright” you spoke softly, pressing softly into his shoulders. “I can get you a taxi home and I think I have leftovers from the other night I can give you”

You… you what?

“Wh...what? Really? You would do that?” he couldn’t ask this of you. You had already done so much for him but somehow he just couldn’t reject you. He felt a horror like he hadn’t in years and if you would be so gracious as to give him a way out of this he would take it.

“Yeah, of course. You need it more than I do” you laughed, uneasy at best but you were trying to make him feel better. “I’ll call you a cab and you can check the fridge for anything that looks fitting”

Oh… he could feel the tears welling up behind his eyes. You were there to save him, again.

“You…you’re amazing, [Name]. You… really are…” he sniffed, trying not to come undone in front of you but that was an effort in itself.

You faltered in that moment, your whole body did, it was something he couldn’t miss. It was like you didn’t know what to do with yourself. Your eyes trailed from his, to anywhere but his own, and he swore… he swore he saw your cheeks brighten ever so.

“That’s… that’s really sweet but let’s focus on getting you home” you dismissed, letting go of him to call for the taxi. “Go on and check the fridge, okay?”

He couldn’t help but smile just a bit. Had he caught you in a moment of rare, genuine fluster? That was certainly something new, something… absolutely adorable. He wished he could have stood and relished it longer but once you asked him for his address he was made very much aware of the reality of his situation once again.

He rummaged through the fridge, eventually finding a sizeable amount of pasta inside. He didn’t want to take it all, so he sectioned a portion off - about how much he would make for his uncle - and put it in a container that he could return to you tomorrow.

The taxi didn’t take long to get there, maybe five minutes if that, and Shuichi found himself incredibly grateful for that. You walked with him to the door, hailing the cab a bit closer as he was parked down the street.

“It might be a bit close but you should get home in time”

“Thank you… thank you so much, for everything”

You smiled at him, easing his twisted stomach. “Don’t worry about it, just get home”

You leaned in to give him a chaste kiss before bumping him gently in the direction of the cab, signaling for him to get a move on. He said one last thank you and hastily made his way down the steps and down to the car. He paused only briefly at the sound of your voice.

“Oh and Shuichi!” you called.

He turned to face you. “Y-Yes?”

“You know where I am now” you pointed up to the number on your house. “Y’know… in case you ever need anything” you grinned, sending a wink his way.

The panic in his heart ebbed just so, a pocket filling in with warmth as he realized what you meant. He smiled and called back to you, “I’ll keep that in mind!”

 

  
With that he climbed in the car, watching your form waving him off until it faded in the distance. Whatever came next almost didn’t matter…

Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this has to be one of my most favorite chapters written so far. You get smut, fluff, angst and even a little bit of suspense there!
> 
> Next chapter is kind of rough and we're starting to get into the thick of it so expect emotions and of course, more smut LOL 
> 
> Let me know what you guys thought of this if you liked it - and even if you didn't - I always love to hear what you guys have to say, it keeps me motivated. Thanks so much for reading!


	6. The Edge of the World and Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi comes home to find that his uncle is back from work earlier than he had expected. What ensues as a result of that is the blossoming of a change in him that changes his life.
> 
>  
> 
> WARNING MY BEANS: There is depictions of abuse by a parental figure here. This actually hit a little close to home while I was writing it so I want you all to be safe and proceed with caution. I'm going to be uploading a chapter that has those scenes cut out so that you can still enjoy the story if you're not okay with this kind of stuff.

Throughout Shuichi’s short life, in which he felt like he’d lived a thousand years stuck in pain, he quickly grew to learn that even the things he could count on to remain routine, changed course far too quickly. There was always a factor unaccounted for. There was always a wrench in the machine, a defected wire in the circuit - especially when things were running smoothly. 

He had thought that if he returned before his uncle arrived home from work, that he would be free to spend a carefree day with the person he loved, the person he so badly wanted to never leave the side of. The one who made him feel complete, like he belonged. He thought that if he were a good boy, like he had always tried to be, things… could be okay for once.

What he didn’t count on was… the defected wire in the circuit, the wrench in the machine - all because this was one he had yet to see before.  

When Shuichi arrived home, panic stricken and bolting from the taxi the minute it pulled up to his house, he didn’t notice the lights that were on the house - the ones’ that should have been off until he came home to turn them on. He didn’t notice the car in the driveway, the one that shouldn’t of been there for at least another ten minutes. He didn’t catch the impending doom lurking inside that small house until it was far too late.

He fumbled with his keys at the door, thinking hard about his plan. When he got in he would rush to the kitchen and make it look like the pots and pans had been used, that he hadn’t just been gifted this - probably delicious - pasta from his significant other. He would set up the table first though, because his uncle would notice that before anything else. Anything that wasn’t ready and waiting for him was cause to go ballistic and that was what Shuichi had been trying to avoid. Plan in mind, he finally managed to get his hands to stop shaking enough that he could unlock the door. The key went in, turned the lock…

...and when that door opened he felt a dread like he had never felt in all of his life.  It felt like everything inside of him had curled up and died. His stomach roared with a need to rid itself of all of it’s contents and his tongue felt dry, unbearably so. His legs had frozen to where he was standing and his eyes never left the sight of horror before him.

There, sitting in his favorite recliner, rocking back and forth like a ticking time bomb - was his uncle. He was home early.

_ Bu..but...today is normally a busy day at the agency! Normally he’s late why is he home!? Oh God, what am I going to do? _

Eyes, malicious and piercing, swiveled to bore into Shuichi’s trembling ones. The older man’s mouth hardened, jaws clenching down inside of his mouth to contain the yell that was resting in that bear cage of teeth - at least until the door was closed, then the circus began.

“You’re home awfully late” he spat, picking up the half empty bottle of vodka sitting next to his chair and unscrewing the cap. “Nice looking pasta ya got there”

Petrified, was an understatement to describe how his legs wouldn’t move in this moment.

“You fucking frozen or something? Come in and close the fucking door, we got something to talk about”

That was probably the closest thing he had ever heard to a death sentence. Oh, how he wanted to turn, to run away to anywhere that wasn’t here. But he knew, after too many times of it ending in beatings, that his uncle was too fast - that even in his drunken haze he would catch him and drag him back into this cage.

“Fuckin’ close it!” he roared, patience running thin enough to not care about the neighbors.

Shuichi practically slammed the door closed, whole body jumping in a need to appease the beast before him. “S-Sorry, uncle…” he managed to stammer out.

“Go sit the fuck down, I got something to show you” his uncle pointed a finger to the empty dining room table - the one he should have set before he got home.

“Y-Yes, uncle…” he obliged, ever the obedient one, inside hoping that perhaps this might lessen the thrashing he was soon to get. It was just these lull moments, where this man toyed with him, lead him up to the violence that he couldn’t take. He felt like his heart would stop.

The timid boy set the pasta on the kitchen counter and then sat at the table, the wood decorations vaguely reminding him of what he had just been doing on a table similar to this one. Oh, how foolish was he to think he could enjoy something like that without recompense, without payment for his glee. Truly, this was the price had to pay for being so disgusting, for giving in to such carnal desires that you had so freely given to him in exchange for nothing.

The deafening footsteps of the giant as he made his way over made Shuichi’s toes curl into his feet inside of his shoes. He sounded like a monster, treading out of the deeps to consume the small morsel offered to him as sacrifice to appease his hunger. At least, that’s how he had always felt about his uncle. Making him a fairytale made this all slightly easier to deal with somehow.

“You notice anything here boy?” the giant spit, standing beside the young boy at the table.

“Ah… uhm…” it was empty. It was bare where it should have been full and it was all his fault. It was… all his fault… for running from here to be happy.

“Spit it out already you stupid brat!”

“A-Ah! I’m sorry..! It’s… it’s not set, I’m sorry uncle I-”

“No plates, no dinner. Fuck you weren’t even here when I got in, were you?”

“I-I-I’m so sorry uncle, it won’t happen again I just-”

SLAM.

Shuichi could practically feel the bones in his skull shatter as a large hand wrapped around his head and bashed it into the table below him. He gasped and sputtered at the sheer pain racking his brain and the way deafening silence filled his ears as his brain worked to understand what in the hell had just happened.

“I don’t give a fuck if it won’t happen again, it should’ve never happened in the first place!”

It didn’t stop there, it never stopped there. Suddenly, the chair he was sitting in was kicked out from underneath him and the floor rose up to catch him in the most excruciating way. He landed on his side, weak bones smacking against the tile floor as he choked up a breath.

“I take care of your sorry ass night and day”

No, no he didn’t. He let him live here but there was no ‘caretaking’ done here.

“I took you in when you had nothing you piece of shit!”

“Nngh!” Shuichi gasped as a foot smashed into his ribcage, rendering him breathless.

“All I ask from you is a fucking meal to be ready when I get home and your pathetic ass can’t even fucking do that”

This time there’s a flurry of kicks, one punctuating each and every word and stabbing into him the repeated reminder of his useless existence. The one that deserved this, the one that should have known better than to seek comfort because this was the reality he would always return to.

He can’t stop the tears, from the pain mostly, but the emotional torture wasn’t helping either. He wished, so much, that he could say he was used to it, that he was numb to it but how could he ever get used to the way his body convulsed and pleaded for this to stop? Even if it were daily he never became immune to this pain.

“Fucking useless… all you do is fucking cry…” his uncle grunts, smacking his foot into the shaking boy’s head one last time.

“Since you can’t even manage to be home on time, I’m going the fuck out to eat. When I get home you better be out of my sight. And throw that shit you brought home away, if I catch you eating it I’ll be damn sure to do you a beatin’ worse than this”

The demand sits in the back of Shuichi’s mind, buried somewhere underneath the headache constructing his cranium. He can just barely make out the man mumbling something, collecting his keys, cramming his feet into shoes - all before leaving through the door.

Then there’s complete and profound silence. He’s left alone there with his sniffling echoing in his ears.

He didn’t know how long he laid there for before he felt like moving, before a thought entered his mind.

_ I… I can’t take this anymore. I can’t do this… I just… want it to stop… _

These thoughts weren’t new to him, in fact they were a mantra he sang himself to sleep with every night. Yet somehow, it all felt different this time. The drive behind those thoughts, the subsequent solution his mind came up with in response… was so far beyond anything he had ever conjured up before.

_ “You know where I am now” you pointed up to the number on your house. “Y’know… incase you ever need anything” you grinned, sending a wink his way. _

That memory staged a rebellion in his heart. He couldn’t stay here, not anymore. He needed to leave, he wanted to be safe.

Somehow, propelled by this newfound desire, Shuichi managed to haul himself off of the floor, every inch of himself feeling like it was breaking as he did so. But he didn’t care. If he could just get away from here everything would be alright. If he could just… be in your arms again. Where he was safe and warm… oh, how he needed it right now.

On unsteady feet Shuichi somehow managed to make it to the door - he had to wonder how he would get anywhere else - and peeked out of the front window before he opened it. True to his word his uncle had left, probably to the nearest bar or that diner he liked to go to harass all the women working there. It didn’t really matter to him, all it meant was that Shuichi had a clear escape.

He opened the door and was met with the beginnings of a storm, rain drizzled down in a mist, threatening the downpour that was to come and even if it was unfortunate he just didn’t have it in him to care. A little rain was nothing compared to what he’d been dealing with his whole life. So, out of habit, he softly closed the door shut and slunk down the stairs, ducking his head as he ran out to the other side of the street.

The train was a small ways from here but the distance didn’t deter him, not for a second. With all the energy he could muster up he bade his legs to move, sprinting him down the sidewalk haphazardly. The pain was immense and his lungs felt like they would vacate through his mouth but he didn’t care, he didn’t have it in him to care anymore. He knew where he needed to get to and he wasn’t going to stop until he got there. Even if he had to sleep on your porch on the off chance you had gone to sleep, he would. Anywhere that was close to you was better than here.

The rain had kicked up by then, by the time he had these thoughts. It came down almost in sheets, suddenly and without an umbrella his clothes were drenched in seconds.

_ Of course... _

Thankfully around that time he had made it to the train, so the shivering was somewhat short lived. He hustled past the evening stragglers, avoiding eye contact with everyone and hurried through the turnstyle to catch the train that had just pulled into the station. He huddled himself in the corner of an empty car, scrunching up into his seat. You lived on the other side of town - he remembered panicking when he realized he was going so far away from home - so this would take some time.

He found himself closing his eyes, trying to will the pain away but also… daydreaming. He found himself thinking of you and your warm arms and your playful smile. He wanted you to scoop him up into your house, into your arms and just hold him. He longed to be enveloped by your warmth again, to be on your couch just watching TV, to be… normal.  

He would love to be normal with you.

\--------

Some time passed and eventually the train pulled into your station.

Groggy, limbs locked up from the long time spent curled into each other, the young boy dragged himself off the train. When he resurfaced he found that it was still raining, was much darker than he remembered and all around was far more unpleasant than when he entered the station back on his street.

But, like all the times mentioned before this one, he didn’t care. You were close now. Your house was just a short walk from here, you were in reach. He took to the streets, memorizing the turns and twists into your neighborhood and he found himself thinking that he was glad he had paid attention, glad that you lived in a more secluded area because it offered that much more privacy.

Eventually, he made the last turn and saw the glorious sight that was your house in the distance. His heart leapt out of his stomach and back up into his chest, inciting his aching legs to run the small length of the sidewalk to your doorstep.

The lights were off inside but he hoped, with any luck, that you might still be awake or at least conscious enough to hear him knocking. He let his curled fingers collide gently with the wood, not wanting to scare you but wanting to be loud enough to be heard.

Then he waited.

And waited.

Anxiety pooled in the pit of his stomach.

Waited.

Had he been too late? Had you already gone to sleep?

Waited.

He knocked again, this time more frantically, a little louder.

Then he waited.

And waited.

He called your name when he thought he heard shuffling inside the house. “It’s me!” he shouted. “Please, I… I really need you right now!”

The rain poured down behind him, the sound enveloping the streets in the night.

_ Please… please, I need you. Please open the door. Please be awake… _

Then, it happened.

A series of locks clicked open and then so did the door to reveal… you. You were in your sleepwear, hair disheveled already and despite your wild eyes, he could tell you were tired by the way you stood just a little off kelter.

“Shuichi…? My God, what are you doing here? It’s pouring, it’s late and-” you stopped mid sentence, eyes looking over his face, his clothes. Something clicked.

“Where did you get those bruises?” your voice was softer now, the gentleness of someone concerned emanating throughout your speech.  

_ Ah… I should’ve known that would’ve left bruises… _

“I…” somehow he couldn’t find the words to talk about it. He just… wanted to forget about it. Wanted to trade those horrifying moments for even just an evening with you.

You took initiative in his silence.  “Come inside, you’re drenched” you wrapped your dry hand into his cold, wet one and pulled him inside.

The urge to collapse into your arms and just stay there was one he almost couldn’t fight. Somehow though, he refrained, instead focusing on the glee he felt being welcomed back into your home. He felt warm. Safe.

The world outside vanished in an instant, the rain becoming a dull hum as you closed the door. Inside, Shuichi noticed you hadn’t turned on any lights, instead you had a series of light detecting night lights throughout the hallway. He couldn’t help but feel comfortable in this subtle darkness, like it was just you and him.

“Wait here a second, I’ll go get you something to dry off” you gently commanded, one the soaking boy was inclined to follow.

You disappeared into the bathroom, coming back with a towel, and then into your room where you stayed for a few moments. You returned some time later with what looked to be an oversized T-shirt and… a pair of panties. You must’ve noticed the way he actually stopped drying himself off to stare at the article of clothing because you chuckled ever so softly at him.

“Well, do you want to sleep in wet underwear?” you teased.

_ No… not when I can wear yours… _

He thought this, but didn’t have anywhere near the gusto to actually say it to you. “Ah.. uhm… good point” he stuttered, fluster overtaking his tongue.

“I thought so” your playful smile was enough to illuminate the room, even without the help of the nightlights, and Shuichi found himself melting.

How was it that he had been so… trapped in emotional turmoil, racked with such pain such a short time ago but even just a moment in your presence made it all better? Was it supposed to work like this? How did you just… make him so happy?

“Bathroom is all yours. My room is right here, come on in when you’re ready” you offered, venturing over to flick on the hallway light.

Somehow, those words made him come undone.

“Thank you… thank you so much…” he felt tears brimming in the corners of his eyes as all the emotions began to bubble up. You offered him your home, your clothes and from what he could tell you were going to let him stay the night.

“Hey, ssshh” you took his face gently in your hands, kissing over where the bruises must have been because every little peck tingled ever so slightly. “It’s okay. You’re alright now. You’re here, with me”

_ I never want to be anywhere else… _

“Thank you...” came out instead. “You… you’re so wonderful…”

You giggled and he noticed how you sounded just a tad bit bashful. “Hush now with that. Go get changed and come join me, okay? You can leave your clothes in the tub, I’ll dry them in the morning”

Shuichi nodded, head aching slightly at the action as the pain never completely subsided. He turned and made his way into the bathroom, leaving you to do whatever it was you would. The moment he opened the door he was greeted with the unnerving sight of the bruises darkening spots on his face. It was a wonder he hadn’t gotten a nosebleed this go around but it wasn’t like he was complaining.

_ Geez… no wonder they looked so worried...these look awful…  _ he winced, poking at one of the spots and feeling the way the bundle of aggravated nerves tightened at the action.

Sighing, he turned away from his reflection, knowing there was little else he could do for them at the moment. He stripped himself of his clothes. Pulling soaking wet fabric from his skin to have it surrounded by the cool air was a feeling he never thought could feel quite so nice. He placed his things in the tub before pulling on your shirt and reveling in how warm it was. It didn’t matter that it was too big for him, practically hanging off his shoulders, all that mattered was that he was in it. He was wearing your clothes! He was…

… going to be wearing your panties.

His face must have been beet red because he could feel the heat radiating off of his cheeks as he stared at the fabric. Yes, it was just an article of clothing, something necessary to wear to immerse into society but these had been so close to… places of yours - delicate places of yours for however long you had owned them. He had explored this place once or twice before with his mouth but even still, it didn’t erase how flustered he felt. How foolishly schoolboy he felt in this moment, getting worked up over a pair of panties. 

_ I really… am a pervert, aren’t I? _

He couldn’t help but chide himself out of habit, which worked out in the end because he managed to get over himself long enough to slide your delicates over his own. It felt a bit… strange to be wearing them, as they didn’t fit quite right, but he also found himself not really minding all that much either - they were yours after all. Anything of yours was welcome on his body.

He folded the towel he’d used to dry himself off and placed it on the sink before making his way out of the bathroom. He traveled along the hall to your room, opening the door and finding you sitting up in bed, the light and sound from your TV softly filling the room.

“There you are” you chirped, smiling at him. “Come sit, I got you some asprin and water. Figured you could use it”

Oh, how wonderful you were. He felt like his whole body was singing.  

_ Angel… they’re an angel… _

The boy happily obliged your request, climbing into bed next to you and graciously taking the things you offered him. He popped the pill into his mouth and swallowed it down with the water, handing the glass back to you afterwards.

“Any better, now that you’re all dry?”

“Very much so. Thank you”

You wrapped your arms around him then. “Good” you pulled him into you and forced him backwards to lie down with you, secure against your chest. It was a feeling he fell into instantly, snuggling closer to you as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling himself as close as humanly possible in to you.

It was warm. So undeniably warm and you were so comfortable. He felt like a stuffed animal cradled so delicately in your arms. Oh, he never wanted to leave. He only wanted to stay in this moment and if this night never ended he could die happy.

“I won’t ask what happened” you mumbled, resting your chin a top his head. “Not now, anyway. Right now I want you to feel safe and get some rest, okay?”

“Mmhm…” he mumbled, pulling back only the smallest bit to look up into your eyes. “Thank you…” he felt like he had said it so much since he got here but he really could not explain how much all this meant to him, how grateful he was for you and your loving heart that you had shared with him.

“Stop thanking me so much, silly” you giggled, nuzzling your nose against his, an action that made him shrink ever so, mouth contorting into a flustered squiggle of a smile.

“I can’t help it… I really... owe you so much…”

_I love you so much...so, so much..._

“Nah, it’s fine, really. I’m doing this because I want to” you grinned down at him, a loving, adoring look in your eyes that made his insides squirm in the most pleasant way possible.

That was when he gathered all of his courage, all of his wants and leaned up into you, pressing a kiss to your lips that you instantly returned. He hummed at the way your arms drew him closer, encircling him into you. The way your fingers rested against his back as he laced an arm around your neck. He felt so small, so utterly and wonderfully small against you. The kind of small that was protected and cherished. He loved feeling like this. It didn’t matter that he was supposed to be stronger than this, that society dictated that his manliness should be so much more than this because he didn’t care - he never had. This was what he wanted, what he needed. If you were willing to give him this then he would never push it away.

You parted some time after, gazing lovingly at each other in the aftermath. Shuichi felt like he was glowing and coming from where he had been some hours ago, that was a feeling he never thought he would have.

“Get some sleep” you pressed another kiss against his lips, this time shorter but sweet nonetheless.

“Okay…” he mumbled, dazed as he gazed into your eyes, feeling the aura of slumber lulling him into it’s welcoming arms.

  
  


Thinking back on it now, he could have never imagined being so rebellious would get him this payment. And as sleep claimed him while he lie safe and content in your arms, he had to wonder if this was the world giving back to him after all those years of torment. 

He really… hoped so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so... much? 
> 
> Like even if the beginning destroyed me by the end I was just like GIVE HIM CUDDLES, ALL THE CUDDLES. I WANT THIS TO BE TOOTH ROOTING SWEETNESS. So that's what you got. Pain and cuddles because who doesn't love that? LOL 
> 
> I hope this was a good follow up to the last chapter! I know some of you guys were worried about our boy but he's okay! He's ruffed up a lil but now he's in your arms having a lil snooze. 
> 
> I hope you guys are all still enjoying this because we get to learn about the reader soon! And of course there's more smut to be had so stay tuned for what's ahead! And as always if you liked this story, or even if you didn't, leave me a comment and tell me what you thought! 
> 
> Thank you so much for following along!


	7. Chapter 6 Censored

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Censored chapter because this hit me a little too hard while I was writing it and I get the feeling it may do the same for others. So, here's the chapter with the actual violence cut out.

Throughout Shuichi’s short life, in which he felt like he’d lived a thousand years stuck in pain, he quickly grew to learn that even the things he could count on to remain routine, changed course far too quickly. There was always a factor unaccounted for. There was always a wrench in the machine, a defected wire in the circuit - especially when things were running smoothly.

He had thought that if he returned before his uncle arrived home from work, that he would be free to spend a carefree day with the person he loved, the person he so badly wanted to never leave the side of. The one who made him feel complete, like he belonged. He thought that if he were a good boy, like he had always tried to be, things… could be okay for once.

What he didn’t count on was… the defected wire in the circuit, the wrench in the machine - all because this was one he had yet to see before.  

When Shuichi arrived home, panic stricken and bolting from the taxi the minute it pulled up to his house, he didn’t notice the lights that were on the house - the ones’ that should have been off until he came home to turn them on. He didn’t notice the car in the driveway, the one that shouldn’t of been there for at least another ten minutes. He didn’t catch the impending doom lurking inside that small house until it was far too late.

He fumbled with his keys at the door, thinking hard about his plan. When he got in he would rush to the kitchen and make it look like the pots and pans had been used, that he hadn’t just been gifted this - probably delicious - pasta from his significant other. He would set up the table first though, because his uncle would notice that before anything else. Anything that wasn’t ready and waiting for him was cause to go ballistic and that was what Shuichi had been trying to avoid. Plan in mind, he finally managed to get his hands to stop shaking enough that he could unlock the door. The key went in, turned the lock…

...and when that door opened he felt a dread like he had never felt in all of his life.  It felt like everything inside of him had curled up and died. His stomach roared with a need to rid itself of all of it’s contents and his tongue felt dry, unbearably so. His legs had frozen to where he was standing and his eyes never left the sight of horror before him.

There, sitting in his favorite recliner, rocking back and forth like a ticking time bomb - was his uncle. He was home early.

_ Bu..but...today is normally a busy day at the agency! Normally he’s late why is he home!? Oh God, what am I going to do? _

Eyes, malicious and piercing, swiveled to bore into Shuichi’s trembling ones. The older man’s mouth hardened, jaws clenching down inside of his mouth to contain the yell that was resting in that bear cage of teeth - at least until the door was closed, then the circus began.

“You’re home awfully late” he spat, picking up the half empty bottle of vodka sitting next to his chair and unscrewing the cap. “Nice looking pasta ya got there”

Petrified, was an understatement to describe how his legs wouldn’t move in this moment.

“You fucking frozen or something? Come in and close the fucking door, we got something to talk about”

That was probably the closest thing he had ever heard to a death sentence. Oh, how he wanted to turn, to run away to anywhere that wasn’t here. But he knew, after too many times of it ending in beatings, that his uncle was too fast - that even in his drunken haze he would catch him and drag him back into this cage.

“Fuckin’ close it!” he roared, patience running thin enough to not care about the neighbors.

Shuichi practically slammed the door closed, whole body jumping in a need to appease the beast before him. “S-Sorry, uncle…” he managed to stammer out.

“Go sit the fuck down, I got something to show you” his uncle pointed a finger to the empty dining room table - the one he should have set before he got home.

“Y-Yes, uncle…” he obliged, ever the obedient one, inside hoping that perhaps this might lessen the thrashing he was soon to get. It was just these lull moments, where this man toyed with him, lead him up to the violence that he couldn’t take. He felt like his heart would stop.

The timid boy set the pasta on the kitchen counter and then sat at the table, the wood decorations vaguely reminding him of what he had just been doing on a table similar to this one. Oh, how foolish was he to think he could enjoy something like that without recompense, without payment for his glee. Truly, this was the price had to pay for being so disgusting, for giving in to such carnal desires that you had so freely given to him in exchange for nothing.

The deafening footsteps of the giant as he made his way over made Shuichi’s toes curl into his feet inside of his shoes. He sounded like a monster, treading out of the deeps to consume the small morsel offered to him as sacrifice to appease his hunger. At least, that’s how he had always felt about his uncle. Making him a fairytale made this all slightly easier to deal with somehow.

“You notice anything here boy?” the giant spit, standing beside the young boy at the table.

“Ah… uhm…” it was empty. It was bare where it should have been full and it was all his fault. It was… all his fault… for running from here to be happy.

“Spit it out already you stupid brat!”

“A-Ah! I’m sorry..! It’s… it’s not set, I’m sorry uncle I-”

“No plates, no dinner. Fuck you weren’t even here when I got in, were you?”

“I-I-I’m so sorry uncle, it won’t happen again I just-”

 

 

Beg and plead as he might there was no deterring his uncle from his rage. Soon enough he was on the floor, racked in pain, sniffling into himself while also trying to breathe. He hears those thunderous footsteps walk out of the house, off to somewhere. The door opens and closes.

 

Then there’s complete and profound silence. He’s left alone there with his sniffling echoing in his ears.

He didn’t know how long he laid there for before he felt like moving, before a thought entered his mind.

_ I… I can’t take this anymore. I can’t do this… I just… want it to stop… _

These thoughts weren’t new to him, in fact they were a mantra he sang himself to sleep with every night. Yet somehow, it all felt different this time. The drive behind those thoughts, the subsequent solution his mind came up with in response… was so far beyond anything he had ever conjured up before.

_ “You know where I am now” you pointed up to the number on your house. “Y’know… incase you ever need anything” you grinned, sending a wink his way. _

That memory staged a rebellion in his heart. He couldn’t stay here, not anymore. He needed to leave, he wanted to be safe.

Somehow, propelled by this newfound desire, Shuichi managed to haul himself off of the floor, every inch of himself feeling like it was breaking as he did so. But he didn’t care. If he could just get away from here everything would be alright. If he could just… be in your arms again. Where he was safe and warm… oh, how he needed it right now.

On unsteady feet Shuichi somehow managed to make it to the door - he had to wonder how he would get anywhere else - and peeked out of the front window before he opened it. True to his word his uncle had left, probably to the nearest bar or that diner he liked to go to harass all the women working there. It didn’t really matter to him, all it meant was that Shuichi had a clear escape.

He opened the door and was met with the beginnings of a storm, rain drizzled down in a mist, threatening the downpour that was to come and even if it was unfortunate he just didn’t have it in him to care. A little rain was nothing compared to what he’d been dealing with his whole life. So, out of habit, he softly closed the door shut and slunk down the stairs, ducking his head as he ran out to the other side of the street.

The train was a small ways from here but the distance didn’t deter him, not for a second. With all the energy he could muster up he bade his legs to move, sprinting him down the sidewalk haphazardly. The pain was immense and his lungs felt like they would vacate through his mouth but he didn’t care, he didn’t have it in him to care anymore. He knew where he needed to get to and he wasn’t going to stop until he got there. Even if he had to sleep on your porch on the off chance you had gone to sleep, he would. Anywhere that was close to you was better than here.

The rain had kicked up by then, by the time he had these thoughts. It came down almost in sheets, suddenly and without an umbrella his clothes were drenched in seconds.

_ Of course... _

Thankfully around that time he had made it to the train, so the shivering was somewhat short lived. He hustled past the evening stragglers, avoiding eye contact with everyone and hurried through the turnstyle to catch the train that had just pulled into the station. He huddled himself in the corner of an empty car, scrunching up into his seat. You lived on the other side of town - he remembered panicking when he realized he was going so far away from home - so this would take some time.

He found himself closing his eyes, trying to will the pain away but also… daydreaming. He found himself thinking of you and your warm arms and your playful smile. He wanted you to scoop him up into your house, into your arms and just hold him. He longed to be enveloped by your warmth again, to be on your couch just watching TV, to be… normal.  

He would love to be normal with you.

\--------

Some time passed and eventually the train pulled into your station.

Groggy, limbs locked up from the long time spent curled into each other, the young boy dragged himself off the train. When he resurfaced he found that it was still raining, was much darker than he remembered and all around was far more unpleasant than when he entered the station back on his street.

But, like all the times mentioned before this one, he didn’t care. You were close now. Your house was just a short walk from here, you were in reach. He took to the streets, memorizing the turns and twists into your neighborhood and he found himself thinking that he was glad he had paid attention, glad that you lived in a more secluded area because it offered that much more privacy.

Eventually, he made the last turn and saw the glorious sight that was your house in the distance. His heart leapt out of his stomach and back up into his chest, inciting his aching legs to run the small length of the sidewalk to your doorstep.

The lights were off inside but he hoped, with any luck, that you might still be awake or at least conscious enough to hear him knocking. He let his curled fingers collide gently with the wood, not wanting to scare you but wanting to be loud enough to be heard.

Then he waited.

And waited.

Anxiety pooled in the pit of his stomach.

Waited.

Had he been too late? Had you already gone to sleep?

Waited.

He knocked again, this time more frantically, a little louder.

Then he waited.

And waited.

He called your name when he thought he heard shuffling inside the house. “It’s me!” he shouted. “Please, I… I really need you right now!”

The rain poured down behind him, the sound enveloping the streets in the night.

_ Please… please, I need you. Please open the door. Please be awake… _

Then, it happened.

A series of locks clicked open and then so did the door to reveal… you. You were in your sleepwear, hair disheveled already and despite your wild eyes, he could tell you were tired by the way you stood just a little off kelter.

“Shuichi…? My God, what are you doing here? It’s pouring, it’s late and-” you stopped mid sentence, eyes looking over his face, his clothes. Something clicked.

“Where did you get those bruises?” your voice was softer now, the gentleness of someone concerned emanating throughout your speech.  

_ Ah… I should’ve known that would’ve left bruises… _

“I…” somehow he couldn’t find the words to talk about it. He just… wanted to forget about it. Wanted to trade those horrifying moments for even just an evening with you.

You took initiative in his silence.  “Come inside, you’re drenched” you wrapped your dry hand into his cold, wet one and pulled him inside.

The urge to collapse into your arms and just stay there was one he almost couldn’t fight. Somehow though, he refrained, instead focusing on the glee he felt being welcomed back into your home. He felt warm. Safe.

The world outside vanished in an instant, the rain becoming a dull hum as you closed the door. Inside, Shuichi noticed you hadn’t turned on any lights, instead you had a series of light detecting night lights throughout the hallway. He couldn’t help but feel comfortable in this subtle darkness, like it was just you and him.

“Wait here a second, I’ll go get you something to dry off” you gently commanded, one the soaking boy was inclined to follow.

You disappeared into the bathroom, coming back with a towel, and then into your room where you stayed for a few moments. You returned some time later with what looked to be an oversized T-shirt and… a pair of panties. You must’ve noticed the way he actually stopped drying himself off to stare at the article of clothing because you chuckled ever so softly at him.

“Well, do you want to sleep in wet underwear?” you teased.

_ No… not when I can wear yours… _

He thought this, but didn’t have anywhere near the gusto to actually say it to you. “Ah.. uhm… good point” he stuttered, fluster overtaking his tongue.

“I thought so” your playful smile was enough to illuminate the room, even without the help of the nightlights, and Shuichi found himself melting.

How was it that he had been so… trapped in emotional turmoil, racked with such pain such a short time ago but even just a moment in your presence made it all better? Was it supposed to work like this? How did you just… make him so happy?

“Bathroom is all yours. My room is right here, come on in when you’re ready” you offered, venturing over to flick on the hallway light.

Somehow, those words made him come undone.

“Thank you… thank you so much…” he felt tears brimming in the corners of his eyes as all the emotions began to bubble up. You offered him your home, your clothes and from what he could tell you were going to let him stay the night.

“Hey, ssshh” you took his face gently in your hands, kissing over where the bruises must have been because every little peck tingled ever so slightly. “It’s okay. You’re alright now. You’re here, with me”

_ I never want to be anywhere else… _

“Thank you...” came out instead. “You… you’re so wonderful…”

You giggled and he noticed how you sounded just a tad bit bashful. “Hush now with that. Go get changed and come join me, okay? You can leave your clothes in the tub, I’ll dry them in the morning”

Shuichi nodded, head aching slightly at the action as the pain never completely subsided. He turned and made his way into the bathroom, leaving you to do whatever it was you would. The moment he opened the door he was greeted with the unnerving sight of the bruises darkening spots on his face. It was a wonder he hadn’t gotten a nosebleed this go around but it wasn’t like he was complaining.

_ Geez… no wonder they looked so worried...these look awful…  _ he winced, poking at one of the spots and feeling the way the bundle of aggravated nerves tightened at the action.

Sighing, he turned away from his reflection, knowing there was little else he could do for them at the moment. He stripped himself of his clothes. Pulling soaking wet fabric from his skin to have it surrounded by the cool air was a feeling he never thought could feel quite so nice. He placed his things in the tub before pulling on your shirt and reveling in how warm it was. It didn’t matter that it was too big for him, practically hanging off his shoulders, all that mattered was that he was in it. He was wearing your clothes! He was…

… going to be wearing your panties.

His face must have been beet red because he could feel the heat radiating off of his cheeks as he stared at the fabric. Yes, it was just an article of clothing, something necessary to wear to immerse into society but these had been so close to… places of yours - delicate places of yours for however long you had owned them. He had explored this place once or twice before with his mouth but even still, it didn’t erase how flustered he felt. How foolishly schoolboy he felt in this moment, getting worked up over a pair of panties. 

_ I really… am a pervert, aren’t I? _

He couldn’t help but chide himself out of habit, which worked out in the end because he managed to get over himself long enough to slide your delicates over his own. It felt a bit… strange to be wearing them, as they didn’t fit quite right, but he also found himself not really minding all that much either - they were yours after all. Anything of yours was welcome on his body.

He folded the towel he’d used to dry himself off and placed it on the sink before making his way out of the bathroom. He traveled along the hall to your room, opening the door and finding you sitting up in bed, the light and sound from your TV softly filling the room.

“There you are” you chirped, smiling at him. “Come sit, I got you some asprin and water. Figured you could use it”

Oh, how wonderful you were. He felt like his whole body was singing.  

_ Angel… they’re an angel… _

The boy happily obliged your request, climbing into bed next to you and graciously taking the things you offered him. He popped the pill into his mouth and swallowed it down with the water, handing the glass back to you afterwards.

“Any better, now that you’re all dry?”

“Very much so. Thank you”

You wrapped your arms around him then. “Good” you pulled him into you and forced him backwards to lie down with you, secure against your chest. It was a feeling he fell into instantly, snuggling closer to you as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling himself as close as humanly possible in to you.

It was warm. So undeniably warm and you were so comfortable. He felt like a stuffed animal cradled so delicately in your arms. Oh, he never wanted to leave. He only wanted to stay in this moment and if this night never ended he could die happy.

“I won’t ask what happened” you mumbled, resting your chin a top his head. “Not now, anyway. Right now I want you to feel safe and get some rest, okay?”

“Mmhm…” he mumbled, pulling back only the smallest bit to look up into your eyes. “Thank you…” he felt like he had said it so much since he got here but he really could not explain how much all this meant to him, how grateful he was for you and your loving heart that you had shared with him.

“Stop thanking me so much, silly” you giggled, nuzzling your nose against his, an action that made him shrink ever so, mouth contorting into a flustered squiggle of a smile.

“I can’t help it… I really... owe you so much…”

_I love you so much...so, so much..._

“Nah, it’s fine, really. I’m doing this because I want to” you grinned down at him, a loving, adoring look in your eyes that made his insides squirm in the most pleasant way possible.

That was when he gathered all of his courage, all of his wants and leaned up into you, pressing a kiss to your lips that you instantly returned. He hummed at the way your arms drew him closer, encircling him into you. The way your fingers rested against his back as he laced an arm around your neck. He felt so small, so utterly and wonderfully small against you. The kind of small that was protected and cherished. He loved feeling like this. It didn’t matter that he was supposed to be stronger than this, that society dictated that his manliness should be so much more than this because he didn’t care - he never had. This was what he wanted, what he needed. If you were willing to give him this then he would never push it away.

You parted some time after, gazing lovingly at each other in the aftermath. Shuichi felt like he was glowing and coming from where he had been some hours ago, that was a feeling he never thought he would have.

“Get some sleep” you pressed another kiss against his lips, this time shorter but sweet nonetheless.

“Okay…” he mumbled, dazed as he gazed into your eyes, feeling the aura of slumber lulling him into it’s welcoming arms.

  
  


Thinking back on it now, he could have never imagined being so rebellious would get him this payment. And as sleep claimed him while he lie safe and content in your arms, he had to wonder if this was the world giving back to him after all those years of torment.

He really… hoped so.


	8. Good Morning Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi wakes up in your bed, in your arms. It's the most magical thing he's experienced in years. 
> 
> Then you ask him to be honest about what's going on at home and well... that's an experience all in it's own.

Waking up had never felt so much like a lullaby, like being wrapped in the warmth of the sun, like something he  _ wanted _ to do. But when Shuichi woke up to the feeling of your chest pressed against his face, your arms around his body and your heartbeat in his ears, there was nothing more that he wanted to experience.

He felt you shift beside him and only nuzzled more into you, a soft groan beseeching you to stay rumbled in his throat. He heard your melodious laugh and a smile broke out over his sleepy face when you gripped him tighter to you.

“Good morning, lovely~” you cooed, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“Good morning…” he mumbled, happily. He hadn’t the will to open his eyes, not yet, but he could feel your form enough to imagine what a beautiful sight you must have been in the morning.

“How are you feeling?” you asked, finger curling into a strand of his hair.

“Mm… better…” he mumbled in the same dazed, half awake tone. He would love to say that the memory of his beating was far beyond him but the dull ache in his cheeks, in his bones, was a damning reminder of it. Though… he couldn’t say it prevented him from soaking in this moment with you.

“That’s good” he could hear your smile, practically. “I was really worried about you last night, my little Shuichi”

He felt the butterflies permanently trapped in his ribcage flutter about, tickling his sides in joyful flurry. It felt nice to be cared for, to be worried about. Especially when it was you who was looking after him.

“I’m sorry to have worried you…” he’d still been groggy but his tone was nonetheless sincere.

“Don’t be silly, you don’t have to apologize. I’m just glad you’re okay” you soothed, pressing another kiss to his head which inevitably caused him to cuddle up closer to you, feeding off of your affection.

“Thank you…”

_ They're so sweet to me...mmm and they feel so nice...it’s like hugging a stuffed animal… _

In the midst of his fanciful thoughts he almost didn’t notice the rumbling in his stomach. At least until it bubbled up to the surface for the both of you to hear. You giggled at him softly as he hid further in the soft plush of your body, adequately embarrassed.

“Aww, hungry, huh? I was going to try to surprise you with breakfast but every time I moved you clutched tighter onto me” you teased, poking his cheek softly. “I guess you just didn’t want me to go anywhere, huh?”

“Ah well…” he felt small and squiggly - childlike almost - as the rest of his sentence sat at the tip of his tongue, waiting for him to gather the courage to push it out. “... that… that’s probably true...”

_ I can’t believe I admitted it…. ugh... _

You didn’t seem to mind it all that much though, for in response you chuckled gleefully and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, approximately in the same place you had poked him just a few moments prior. “What a cutie you are~”

_ Well, I got a kiss out of it… and they called me cute, so... I guess it wasn’t too bad…. _

“Cuties deserve good food so, if you want, you can come out to the kitchen with me and I’ll make us some breakfast?” you suggested.

“Mmm… that does sound enticing…” he admitted, his hungry stomach fighting him and his urge to never unfurl himself from you. He just… really liked this space next to you. This safe, comfortable space. But, then again, it wasn’t like he’d lose it if he got up. You were inviting him to breakfast after all.

“To the kitchen then?”

His stomach growled once more, clearing up his indecision finally.

“Mmhm”

It took a few minutes for Shuichi to actually scrub the sleepiness out of his eyes and his system enough to completely climb off the bed, weary enough to have considered laying back down even after you had already left the room, but his aching body was still strong enough to help him stand it seemed. He stumbled a bit, but caught himself on the doorframe before managing to make his way out into the kitchen, where he found you already pulling things together. There was bacon and eggs on the counter and a frying pan was heating up on the stove.

“Is there anything you want me to do?” he asked, rubbing a few stray pieces of sleep sand from his eyes.

“Nope, just have a seat and the food will be done soon” you answered, going about your business.

“Are you… sure?” he pressed, anxiety creeping up on him as he’s reminded just how much you’re doing for him and how little he’s provided you in return.

“Absolutely. You had it pretty rough last night from what I can tell, so the least I can do is treat you to a good breakfast” you turned to him and smiled in a way that made the joints in his knees cease to exist.

Oh, and you sounded so cheerful about it too, happy that you could do this for him.

“That’s….very thoughtful of you, thank you” his words were reserved but the huge, uncontrollable smile the spread over his face was a tell tale sign of his inner feelings. He had no idea how many times he had thought about how ‘warm’ he felt around you but he couldn’t help returning to the idea. He felt like the sun itself had peeked through this endless, moonless night of his life and graced him with a small spot of warmth - just enough to keep him cozy.

“You don’t have to thank me” you shook your head with a playful smile. “Now go on and sit down. The food will be ready soon”

Well, who was he to argue?

Morning drunk, unsteady legs carefully made their way to the table and plopped down in the seat that was the shortest distance from them. For a time Shuichi simply watched you, enthralled with even the smallest things you did - whisking the eggs, turning over the bacon for it to evenly fry - all of it looked like a culinary art when you were the one doing it. He felt silly almost, for being so entranced by these trivial things, knowing that he shouldn’t find this all so entertaining, but he couldn’t help it. Anything you did captivated him. And perhaps it wasn’t so unfounded a thing to be roused by when he really thought about it. After all, up until this point he hadn’t really known you to be such a domestic person. The picture other people painted of you and even the one you painted of yourself, rarely gave any glimpses into this softer side of you. Perhaps that was why, beyond just being lovestruck, he found himself so enamored with watching you cook. He really was lucky wasn’t he? Not only to be treated so well by you but to also be blessed enough to be able to witness how sweet you could be.

In between Shuichi’s spells of musing, the two of you engaged in idle chatter. Mostly it was you talking about the strange, almost acid-trip dream you had and he responded, wondering how your subconscious made such leaps in thought. Then again, it wasn’t as if the nights he spent without food did his own subconscious any good. Starvation was always a quick route to distorted, unsettling dreams.

Luckily, starving wasn’t an ailment he’d be dealing with today, not when you were making your way over with two plates full of food, setting one in front of him as you sat down next to him. The aroma was enticing, provoking his tongue to moisten in his mouth the longer the morsels remained out of his mouth, the smell attacking his nose.  

“Dig in” you smiled, urging him on as you poked into your own food.

Really, he couldn’t have responded faster, digging a fork into his eggs and slipping them into his mouth.  _ God _ … it really was such a simple little meal but when the last time you had a full breakfast in the company of someone who didn’t hate your guts was a time so far past that you no longer remembered, a simple meal was the most delectable thing. The sting in his cheeks as he flexed the muscles in his mouth is a reminder of where he had been last night, and it’s even more of wonder how he had gotten from that point in time to this one, sharing breakfast calmly with you as the sun slowly rose to warm up the house with it’s shine.

“How is it?” you asked after some time.

“Good, very good” as if his half eaten plate didn’t attest to that on it’s own.

You giggled good naturedly, smiling at him like you always did. “I’m glad to hear that. I’m not exactly a chef but I get by”

Honestly, he was sure he could stomach anything if he knew it had been made by your hands, but this certainly was not a meal he had to force himself to eat. Though, as he thought about it, your words were ones he could relate to. Being forced to cook practically every meal for his uncle left him somewhat knowledgeable about what foods worked together, how long to cook something for and most importantly - how not to burn the house down, that one was crucial.

“I think it’s excellent” he smiled, settling his fork for a moment. “Besides it’s the same for me. I’ve been cooking for a while but it’s not anything impressive” 

“Oh, that’s right! I remember you said something about making dinner yesterday” you reminisced, before turning to him with an interested look in your eyes. “I would love to try your cooking someday”

Your genuine smile proved to him that you weren’t just saying that to be cordial, you meant it. And the prospect of ‘someday’, of the idea of you keeping him around for the future bubbled a sweet feeling in his chest.

The endearing feelings he held for you shone clearly in his eyes as his own smile grew more tender. “I’d like that too…”

The dulcet undertones of the moment lead the both of you to just gaze at each other sweetly, taking in the morning and each other’s presence. For the first time in a long time Shuichi could hear the birds outside, hear their cheerful song, one of which he had blocked out for so long. He could feel the heat of the sun peeking through your window and not sink away, eager to flee to a space where he was far less visible.

“I’m glad” you said, wrapping your fingers into his free hand. “After all it might be nice to have someone to cook for me for a change”  

The gentle laughter that resounded about the small space felt like the melody of home. It felt like he had finally found home.

However… in that discovery was also the truth that home was meant to be honest, if it was to be inhabited for a long time. The walls knew secrets even you yourself may have not known. Your bed knew your weaknesses and all the times you had taken a carton of ice cream into it to soothe your worries. Your home inevitably knew you for the person you hid from everyone  and in that concept lied the fuel behind your next words.

“Though, now that I think about it, you said you had to cook for your uncle, right?” you were careful, calculated. The steadiness in your voice uneased him and he could feel every part of him tense up. “Did… did something happen, when you went home?”

His lips pursed, mind blurring with the memory of when he had gotten home last night.

“Ah… well…”

It never would get easier to talk about, would it?

“I hate to spring this up on you. I’m just worried” you eased after a while of his silence. “I just don’t understand how you got those bruises unless…”

You hesitated, words lingering in the air but he knew their meaning. How could he not? All of the pieces lined up. From his panicked nature to being late getting home and then his sudden resurgence at your house, disheveled and covered in marks. You would be ignorant not to line up the evidence, to not at least be curious about what was going on at his home.

“It’s okay, it’s just… not easy to talk about, I guess…” he mumbled, trying to calm the way in which his body started to tremble. That’s when he felt you squeeze his hand, reminding him that you were there, that you would listen without judgement. You would be there.

“I get it, if it is what I think it is… I can only imagine how hard it must be for you” you spoke softly, trying to relay to him that you already had part of the story figured out, you just wanted him to confirm it.

“May I ask… what you think is going on?” in this way he didn’t have to admit it outright. In this way, he wasn’t saying anything, you just figured it out. There was this deep seeded fear in him, planted from his younger years, that if he were to be honest, if he were to say it outright that something terrible would happen. It came from all the low, sullen moments when his uncle threatened him with a foster home should he say anything about the way he was treated. He was one evil, but a new family might be another one entirely.

“Are you…” you hesitated, trying to ask in a way that was the most sensitive to his feelings. “Is your uncle… abusing you at home?”

He had been asked that question so many times before.

_ “You've been very spacey in my class these past few months, is everything alright at home?” his homeroom teacher had asked per one late afternoon, reprimanding him for his lack of attention. _

_ “How do you keep coming in with all those bruises? You getting beat at home or something?” the nosy lunch lady proclaimed, with a distaste on her tongue that rivaled the slop of the cafeteria. _

_ “Saihara are you, perchance, being mistreated at home?” the school counselor had tried to get him to admit it on many occasions but he never did. _

All the same question, in so many different voices and he'd never broke before.

So why then was it… that when  _ you _ asked, his body shuddered and tears erupted out of his eyes, cascading down his cheeks in thick globs.

He could feel the twist in his gut like someone ramming a knife through it and spinning it around, through the flesh of his trauma, forcing him to come undone. He didn’t want to cry, to give this truth any tangible meat but here he was, confirming for you all of your suspicions. You didn’t miss a beat. The first roll of a tear down his cheek and your arms wrapped themselves around his shoulders, pulling him into you. You’re soothing him, rubbing his back and whispering soft words of safety and it’s as though that safety is what pulls him evermore into his feelings as he collapses against you, stifling sobs against your shoulder.

“Oh Shuichi… why didn’t you ever tell anyone?” you hushed into his ear, one hand rubbing his back, one in his hair.

He didn’t answer, he didn’t have the heart, nor the voice.

“I guess it’s probably not easy, huh?” you were still soft, gentle. “Did he threaten you into silence? I know that sometimes abusers who are aware of their behavior will force their victims into secrecy”

Of course you would come to that conclusion, of course you knew. You always seemed to know everything about everyone by just a glance. It was something he had so admired about you in the beginning. Right now though, that ability left him bare, shaking in your arms and at the whims of your mercy to be careful with his fragile self, the one that had been put through such pain without ever uttering so much as a peep about it all. Somehow he knew he could trust you but… being open about this wasn’t something he could ever do, safely or otherwise. He had been lead to believe that he shouldn’t,  _ couldn’t  _ tell a soul about any of this. That this was his rightful punishment for his uncle’s… care, as he would call it.

“You poor thing, you don’t have to say anything” you sighed, squeezing him tighter to you, something he melted into.

He sniffled into your shoulder, cries quiet and shaky, the occasional vocal sob slipped out but was ultimately buried in the fabric of your shirt. Weeping openly where his uncle could hear was a dangerous thing so he had taught himself, like with all other things, to shrink into himself, make himself as invisible as possible. You never did fault him for that though. Whereas other people picked on him for being so meek you almost seemed to embrace it, like you were now. Even without words you seemed to understand him perfectly, letting him soak into your shoulder the unspoken truths he could never bring himself to speak. The two of you stayed like that for some time, him crying and you comforting, until slowly his tears began to subside and he instead just clung to you - tired and a little bit thirsty.

“Feeling any better?” you asked, still gentle and rubbing his back.

You knew as well as he did that trauma didn't just disappear over a long overdue sob spent in someone's arms… but it did feel nice to get some of it out.

“Somewhat…” he sighed, voice still strained.

You chuckled weakly, trying for a bit of levity in this situation. “My poor Shuichi… I'm sure you must be exhausted now…”

“A bit…I haven't really admitted any of this before… or cried like that...” he mumbled, nuzzling into your shoulder.

“I'm sure” you agreed. “After all, there's very little people you can trust”

_ There's no one… well, except for you… _

“Mm…”

“I'm glad you were honest with me, though” you hummed, pressing a soft kiss to his ear. “And… I know there's not much I can do about your uncle but…”

You hesitated for a moment. Shuichi figured you were probably trying to find the best way to tell him to go to the authorities or to talk to someone in power. All of those things were things he just couldn't do and while he would concede to trying for the sake of getting off the subject, he really had no intention of it. It would just make matters worse.

Although, as you opened your mouth he found that… all of his planned words to satiate you were forgotten.

“If you want to stay here, with me, you can”  

Had he cried himself into an early grave?

“We'll be graduating in a few months so you can do whatever you want after that, but my door will be open regardless”

No. No you said it with your own lips and he had heard it with his own ears. It all felt so surreal, so dreamlike that he couldn't imagine it being reality when those words first made sense of themselves inside his brain.

He pulled back from you, looking into your eyes for any sign of foolery or mockery but he found none. It was just you, looking soft and tender in an abnormal moment where you didn't feel it appropriate to wear your normal, playful smile.

“Wha… wait, really?” he could barely get the words out, sniffling just a small bit.

You laughed then, just slightly. “Really, really. I wouldn't say something like that if I didn't mean it”

“But… but what about your mother? Won't she be upset if she comes home to find that I'm living here?” he asked, trying to tie up any holes before he accepted this as reality.

“I can just tell her you're sleeping over” you shrugged. “She won't care. She's barely home anyway" he didn't miss the saddened, almost angry look in your eyes.

“What about… you? Are you sure you want someone like me here?” he said it with such a downtrodden voice, half expecting you to recant your offer once you realized who you were giving it to.

“I'm dating someone like you, aren't I?” you chuckled in response, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“I… I suppose so…” he blushed, unable to rebound the question.

“So then why wouldn't I want you here?” you asked, tenderly moving his hair out of his face.

“I….” for once, none of his insecurities had the weight to come out of his mouth.

“The answer is because I  _ do  _ want you here, silly” oh, and your eyes looked so bright when you said that.

“Ah…” his breath caught in his throat, if only for a moment, out of fluster. “Then… then I would like to stay with you…”

You pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Good”

Of course he wanted to stay with you. Nowhere else was as safe, as tender. Nowhere else had he felt the comfort of night, the warmth of the sun in the morning and the sweet sound of birdsongs.

“It'll be nice to come home with someone for once” you squeezed his hand, gently.

He gave you a shy smile in return, having thought much the same thing.

“Annnd~” that playful tone returned to your voice, singing playfully in the folds of your speech. “With you here we'll be able to try out more kinks of yours”

Your words were enough to cause a flurry of red to burst throughout his cheeks but the light tap of your hand against his ass draws a soft yelp out of him.

“Ah! H-hey!” he leaned into you, hiding his face in your shirt. Normally he would jump at the chance to have you drown out his traumas in sexual desire but… he found that as much as he may have wanted to embrace it, his body was very much hesitant to agree with him.

“I don't think I'm up for that for right now…” he mumbled, hoping you'd understand.

You did. Of course you did. “I was only teasing” you chuckled, hugging him a bit closer to you. “Besides I couldn't possibly expect you to be thinking about that right now”

“Mm… thank you…”

“You're welcome” you ruffled his hair, sweetly. “Although is there anything you want to do? It's the weekend so we can do whatever”

He considered his options for a moment, mulling over things the two of you could do but ultimately, he kept returning to one thing.

“Can we just relax? Maybe… go back to bed?” he suggested, mind enthralled with the idea of curling up next to you to work off this newfound exhaustion, with the soft hum of the TV in the background.

"I think I like that idea” the lightness in your voice sets  his anxious heart at a steadier pace, happy you didn't find his request too boring.

So, with that, the two of you went about cleaning up. Rinsed plates, bowls and the lone pan were put in the dishwasher and after that the two of you hurried off back to bed, eager to snuggle up into the other. As he climbed onto the mattress Shuichi briefly thought about his wet clothes in the tub. It occurred to him that he was still wearing what you had leant to him but the idea went away as quickly as it came once he was in your arms.

Wet clothes could wait until the two of you felt like moving again.

  
  


Whenever that may be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooooo! An update! I'm so sorry this took so long fam. I got caught up in work and had like zero time to write so forgive me for that. 
> 
> I'm sorry not much happened this chapter but I wanted to get something out to you guys so you didn't think I forgot about this and as we get closer to the end more will be happening and the pegging is coming s o o n. 
> 
> Anyway, as always, if you liked this or not leave me a comment letting me know! I love getting feedback on my stories it really keeps me going. Thanks for reading!


	9. All for the Birthday Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi's birthday came with trials, tribulations - as well as exhibitionism and tight jeans. 
> 
> Wait, what?

The two of you never did get far from your bed that day. Which in itself, might've been a blessing in disguise.

The relaxation of the weekend set the both of you up for the days following. The days that induced Shuichi into a state of such ferocious horror.  Every day that he walked into that school building felt like a step deeper into the lion's den. He feared the eyes of his teachers, hoping and praying they wouldn't pick him out of the crowd, sending him down to the guidance counselor’s office to begin the prerequisites to his punishment. Every phone call that wasn't for him felt like a cruel prank of the universe.  

He tried so hard to stay strong, look as unassuming as he always had but when he had this secret to hide he felt like everyone knew. Like everyone knew that this newfound freedom of his was bound to a thin tether, one that could unhinge at even just a breath in the place where the threads barely clung together. All it took was for one person to know he had run away. All it took was for his uncle to gather some sense and call the school, to tell them that he had gone missing. He thought he might have a chance in assuming that his uncle quite possibly didn't want him back but... who gets rid of a toy that bends and breaks over and over again but never runs out of uses? Certainly not someone like his uncle. That's all his wife had been to him before she left. Then came Shuichi to fill the place.

Although, crazy as it may have seemed, there _was_ a silver lining in all of this.

His birthday was coming up soon.

Normally he dreaded any reminder or mention of the day he was born - happy memories from childhood had lost their charm over the years -but this time around, that day of the year brought with it something special. He would be eighteen, officially an adult in the eyes of the government. Which in turn meant his uncle couldn't do a damn thing about him running away, he'd have to take him back by force and at that point, it would be considered kidnapping. If he knew his uncle - and he did - he wouldn't risk his job at the detective agency just to have his nephew around to pulverize.

All he had to do was wait. Three weeks, that's all it would take.

Boy were those the most grueling three weeks of his life.

The first week he spent most of the time in your arms, breaking down into panic attack after panic attack practically every night after school. Your house was filled with his screaming and crying about how he didn't want this to end. “I… I don't want to go back! I can't!” he would wail and sob into your chest and you would just hold him. “I won't let him take you… I won't”

By week two he was a bit better, if only because you looked more and more drained by the day. He cherished deeply in his heart the nights you held him, foregoing sleep to be with him throughout the entirety of his breakdowns but he quickly saw how much of a strain that put on you and he just… he couldn't. No matter how much he felt like crumbling day after day he just… wouldn't. He couldn't see you looking like that anymore, not because of him. You were meant to be playful and exuberant, just like he was used to. Not disheveled and barely able to crack a grin. For your sake he tried to pull himself together.

Week three was… exciting… and terrifying. He didn't quite know how to feel. He was so close and yet he couldn't shake this colossal feeling of dread that had gathered in his entire being. He kept feeling like this would all be taken away in the few moments left before his freedom. He couldn't help counting down day by day to the very last moment he would be free. He had five to go, Friday was his birthday.

Day one - nothing special, the same.

Day two - second verse, same as the first.

Day three - there was a small hiccup with the cafeteria lady loudly proclaiming that he looked quote-on-quote “less emo” these days. While that was true, mostly due to your unending affection, he didn't need the added attention and quickly slunk away to join you at the table farthest from everyone else. Luckily, no one else really seemed to notice.

Day four - Despite his rising nerves and the undoubtable way he was surely more jittery than normal, things were alright. There was a phone call, for the guidance counselor’s office no less, but that turned out to be for Asano - his former bully. With a racing heart he watched the taller boy leave the classroom, looking much more solemn than he used to.

Then it was the last day, his birthday.

It came slow and languid but when it finally arrived Shuichi felt an overwhelming flurry of peace claim his being, in a way that was so foreign to him and yet he wanted nothing more than to embrace it. He woke up to you in an apron and lacy black panties - which thoroughly flustered and aroused him - cooking breakfast in celebration of his birthday and his pass into legal adulthood. His freedom.

He was free now… finally free.

Though... that feeling of peace didn't come without some unease.

If he was honest, he was still expecting a hiccup. Even then as he padded through school, lighter than he had ever been, there was still a clump of doubt somewhere in all the peace he had found. There always was, because deep down he knew someone like himself wasn't destined for happiness or love. The distinction between whether that was taught to him or something he had always believed was a blurred line now, it just existed now, as a part of him.

And yet… nothing happened.

He stared down the phone in every classroom, waiting for an end to come ringing into his fantasy. He watched the teachers, observing if they were watching him back. He watched the students, to see if they were snickering about something he should know. He even saw the guidance counselor in the hall but she just… smiled at him. The way her lips curled up and the shine in her eyes seemed to suggest a curiousness about her but all she said was:

“You've been looking better as of late, Saihara. That's good. After all a young boy should look happy on his birthday”

He briefly questioned how she knew it was his birthday _,_ she had never showed any knowledge of it before, but the thought was momentary. For in the end, he really didn't care. She wasn't pulling him into her office to tell him he'd been reported and quite frankly that's all he cared about.

“Oh… thank you”

She waved a hand, smiled and like that she was gone.

She disappeared down the hall and the moment she rounded the corner, the bell to end the day sounded off.

His last obstacle: gone.

He was… free now.

\-------

He didn't know when it started to sink in but it must've been somewhere between when he was enveloped in a crowd of students in the hallway and the sprint he broke into to meet you outside because the rush of adrenaline coursing through his veins when he bursted out of the front doors was an unmatched energy.

Oh, and when he saw you outside he could have cried. You were beaming, glowing in the bright afternoon shine of the sun. You held this soft yet bold look of love and excitement in your eyes and it made his heart want to jump into yours to soak in the feeling. You looked like an angel, his angel.

“There's my birthday boy!” you called, stretching your arms out to envelope him as he came barreling out of the building and into your embrace.

“It's over now… it's really over” he uttered in a gracious whisper, smile stretching across his lips as joyous tears pricked the corners of his eyes.

“It is… it really is” you whispered back, and then gently pulled away from him just so, enough to look at him face to face with that mischievous smile. “But! The day is just getting started! I've got some plans for us!”

He chuckled at that, not the least bit surprised and, actually, he welcomed it. There wasn't a thing he would rather do than spend his day with you. You were what made it special again after all.

“What did you have in mind?” he asked, transfixed by your bright, eager eyes.

“Well first we're going shopping, you've been wearing my clothes for the past month so I figured it's about time we get you some of your own” you teased, lacing your fingers with his.

“I mean, you have a point but… I don't really mind, for the record”

Your eyebrows danced in a suggestive nature, tinting his cheeks pink. “Pervert~”

“It's not like that!” he defended. “Your clothes are just... really comfortable…”

_And they smell like you… and I like that.._

You giggled in return, seemingly seeing through to his inner thoughts but you merely played along. “Alright well, we'll be sure to get you some comfortable clothes”

He chuckled in spite of himself. “Thanks”

Then a thought dawned on him. “Wait, do you have money for all of this? I wouldn't want you to go broke because of me…”

You shook your head, dismissing his worries. “Nah. What mom lacks in her absences she makes up for with cash. We're more than set”

He really never could get used to the contrast in emotion that was portrayed in your voice whenever you talked about your mother. He would need to ask one day, a day at home where the two of you could just talk. You knew so much about him and he… really wanted to know more about you. If he could know everything he would, he welcomed it.

Of course, that was a time that would have to wait as you tugged him out of his thoughts and down to the train.

Today was his day. You would make sure of that.

\--------

Clothes shopping had never been something Shuichi was inclined towards, he wasn't exactly the pinnacle of fashion. That and it seemed to be that the men's clothes had trouble staying up on him, everything far too big or small enough but nowhere near what someone his age should be wearing.

Needless to say he wasn't exactly ecstatic about the prospect… at least until you pulled him into a store where suddenly things started to _fit_ and _nicely_ at that, if your hungry gaze was anything to go off of.

“You have such a nice figure” you smirked, looking him up and down as he stepped out of the dressing room in a pair of black skinny jeans and a dark grey turtleneck. “You should wear tight pants more often.” you purred, leaning over to get a good look at his rear. “Your ass looks amazing”

“And yet I'm the pervert?” he huffed in a rare moment of sassiness.

“Never said I wasn't” you purred, dipping your hands into the back pockets of his new jeans to cup his ass through the fabric, which inevitably caused him to squeak in fluster. “I just wear it proudly~”

_Ah geez… it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't like it so much…_

“S-So I see…” he stuttered, looking away from you as you shamelessly felt him up through his clothes. “I guess… I should, get these t-then?”

“If you want to” you suggested. “I think you look positively dashing” - you said with a British twist for comedic effect - “but it's all up to you, sweetheart. Get what you feel comfortable in”

Shuichi took a look at himself in the mirror, per your comment. He didn't really have much of an opinion about how he looked, he always thought he looked too scrawny in everything. But when he saw you with your hands in his back pockets, how those bottoms enticed you to be so handsy, there was no way he could say no. This picture of the two of you just _fit,_ it was _right_ and he’d be damned if he was going to throw it away.

“I think I'll get it…” he smiled despite himself. “I like how it looks”

_I like how we look…_

“Yay~ I was hoping you'd get them. Although we should get you a different shirt it's like ninety degrees outside” you laughed and left him to change as you ventured off to fetch something else he might like.

The afternoon went on much that way. Shuichi acquired practically a whole new wardrobe - including the polo and jeans he wore out of the store - by the end of your shopping trip. While he did worry about the cost of it all, even offering to put most of it back, you simply waved your hand and told him not to worry, brandishing a debit card and letting it do the work.

After all that he wasn't quite sure what else there was to do but you certainly seemed to still have plans for him.

“I thought maybe it might be nice to go out to dinner, tonight? What do you think?” you asked as the two of you walked down the busy streets of shoppers and tourists alike.

Truth be told he would have liked to stay in… but for your sake he gave it some thought and… well, actually the more he thought about it the more  he grew to like the idea of going on an actual date for once.

“That sounds nice. We haven't been on a real date yet, have we?” he mused, lungs squeezing behind his ribcage giddily as he reminded himself yet again that you were, in fact, his romantic partner.

“What our afternoon lunches at school aren't real dates?” you looked to him, feigning a judgemental expression, one that made him chuckle.

“You know what I mean” he answered, squeezing the hand that was laced with his.

You giggled back, scrunching your nose up playfully at him - which was about the cutest thing he'd ever seen, mind you.

“I know, I know. I felt the same way, that's why I figured we could go out tonight”

Shuichi nodded in response. “Sounds good to me”

“Whoo~ We just have to stop off at home first, I wanna change and the restaurant is near the opposite end of the train line anyway”

“Alright”

So, home you went.

Home… his new home.

He didn't think about it until the two of you got on the train but… he couldn't stop smiling after that.

\-----

“So, what so do you think?”

“Ah, uhm…! It's… ah, very flattering on you…”

_I'm not going to get through this date alive…_

Before Shuichi stood his very confident looking partner, done up like a deity. You may not have been a conventional beauty in the eyes of others but to him you were perfection. Absolute sublimity was what he saw as you twirled around in a black dress that accentuated all of your dips and the soft plush of your skin. The neckline extended in such a way that Shuichi had to actively stop himself from drooling. You wore these tight black leggings that curved out your legs and _God_ would he thank the heavens above if you stepped on him, shoes and all.

“Aw, just flattering?” you teased, obviously recognizing the way he was trying so hard to keep himself together.

“Y-Yes! You look beautiful…” he elaborated, trying not to tread too far into the explicit territory his mind had wandered into.

“Hmm” you hummed, assumedly deciding if that answer was truthful enough. “I guess that works” you shrugged and then swept over to him, catching him in your arms and pressing your chest up against his.

“As long as I match with my sexy boyfriend, that's enough for me” your finger reached up to trace the swell of his lips, your voice an alluring husk that he fell under the spell of almost instantly.

“I don't think you have to worry… about that…” he hushed, trying to keep his tongue in his mouth as his blood seared and raced to places he dearly wished it didn't. Not while he was in these pants, about to go out with you.

You soon replaced your finger with your lips, kissing him long and deep - in a way that made his whole body fall into a state of insatiable unsteadiness. He felt like he could collapse at your feet, ready for whatever you might do to him.

“Mmm” you hummed, pulling back from him. “Look at those red cheeks” you teased, pinching them softly. “Be a good boy and I'll give you all you could want by the time we get home”

Oh God… he really wasn't going to make it out of this date alive.

\------

Dinner started off relatively stable. You'd been flirting with him on and off but it wasn't anything he couldn't control himself over. Sure, the searing heat in his face said otherwise but he wasn't popping a boner just yet so he counted that as a success.

The two of you sat across from each other at the booth, idly looking over the menu as he struggled to keep himself together. His thoughts inevitably kept drifting back to the parting words you left him with before you dragged him out of the door.

_Be a good boy and you’ll get all you want… what are they planning to do with me?_

_“_ So any ideas on what you want?” your soft voice broke him out of his less than innocent thoughts, causing him to sputter and dig his face into the menu, as though he'd really been looking in the first place.

“Ah! Ahm, uhm, well…” totally not obvious. “Maybe steak? O-or pasta?” he stuttered, voice having gone up quite a few octaves as his fingers trembled gently in embarrassment.

“Okay, two very different things but I get it” you giggled, clearly aware of what had just happened. Either that or you just delighted in seeing him get worked up - which you did, unabashedly might you add.

“Ah, well, it's not every day I get to eat out, you know?” he tried to save himself, lightly pulling at his collar as it seemed to have tightened around his neck in the past few moments. Really, everything felt hot and uncomfortable when he was like this.

“I guess that's true” you laughed, smiling at him from behind your menu. “Well, don't be shy on my account. Get whatever you want”

“Are you sure?” of course, he was nervous about you spending too much. “I don't want you to-”

“Don't worry about the bill, sweetheart” you debunked him, smiling sweetly. “Today's your day and I want it to be special, nothing's too much, okay?”

Oh… oh, how were you like this? So sinuously seductive that he was left a sensitive mess long after you had teased him and yet so tender? You made him feel so loved, so cherished. He really couldn't get over it.

He smiled then, small and soft to accompany his red cheeks. “Thank you… that means a lot”

You grinned in return, expelling any worries he may have had. “All the best for my birthday boy~”

‘Your birthday boy’ oh, it had such a nice ring to it. One that pursed his lips into a shy squiggle as he looked down at his hands.

You really were everything to him.

Sometime after that the waitress came to take your orders and after a period of waiting - one you filled with idle chatter - your food was on the table.

“How is it, Shuichi?” you questioned curiously after a few bites of food.

“It's pretty good” he said after having swallowed the piece of food in his mouth. It was funny, this was prepared by what he assumed to be professional chefs and yet he came to find that he liked your food more. Perhaps it was the added placebo effect of knowing _you_ had made it _for him_ that gave it such a heavenly kick of flavor but somehow this restaurant steak just paled in comparison. Of course he wasn't exactly sending it back to the chef either, it _was_ tasty. The juices from the meat saturated his tongue in a wonderful bath of savory goodness. The meat itself was just as good, thick but tender and easy to chew. It was delicious but it would've been perfect with your added touch, that much was for certain.

“How's yours?” he asked, tilting his head just the smallest bit in inquisition.

“Good!” you chirped. “I get this every time I come here so I knew it would be good” you clarified with a smile.

“Although…” he watched, transfixed, as your smile slipped into something far more slick - sly even. “Nothing's as good as my Shuichi”

He squeaked, completely unable to reply as his mind instantly transported him back to some time ago when you feasted on him at your kitchen counter. Oh, how good it had been to have your tongue all over him, to have had his cock completely sheathed inside your throat. As the thoughts raced back to him he shook slightly in his seat, trying to control the ever growing heat between his legs.

And then he was trying to control the thing that had slipped between his legs.

“Are you getting a little bit bothered, Shuichi?”

Shuichi looked to you desperately, clearly able to tell from your slouched position and the general shape of the thing prodding at his crotch that it was, in fact, your foot.

“Ah, [N-Name] please…” he whimpered. “I c-can't… not here”

The utter mortification of being caught by a patron or the staff with a full blown erection was just too much for him. He could imagine their disgusted faces, contorting as they screamed in horror or sternly told him to leave the restaurant and it wasn’t the kind of humiliation he wanted for his birthday.

Then there was the other half of him that… liked this.

There was the conflicted emotion of absolute jubilation that battled with that chance of getting caught. The pleasure that came from having you tend to such a place while he was so bothered was immeasurable. The parts of him that concocted such a nightmare in his head also danced on the idea of the two of you getting away with this, of him cumming right then and there just from your foot alone. He was so torn between these feelings he felt like he might explode in his seat… or in his pants, if you kept up.

“No one will know if you keep your voice down” you teased, toes curling around his hardening cock, as you had slipped your shoes off just to do this.

“I-I!” his breath hitched as you brushed past the head of his cock through his clothes. “...w-won’t be able to… it's too much…!”

He struggled to even speak, hand clenched around the table as he attempted to hold the most minute bit of himself together. He tried to control the moans threatening to spill out of his mouth, the ones that turned into short, quiet whines. God, it felt so good but he was so terrified. This juxtaposition was something he had never dealt with before, it was something he didn’t know how to handle in the slightest. He could feel it, a vocal affirmation of his feelings balled up in the back of his throat just waiting to roll out. It was all so much, constricting and suffocating him. He felt like he might just go mad if he had to deal with this any longer!

“Is everything alright over here?”

Oh, father time was a cruel, cruel old man.

Shuichi’s nightmare manifested itself in the tall, brown-haired waitress coming over to assert that the food had been prepared correctly. Her eyes were like spotlights, searching for his fumble in the play of his life, waiting to heckle him off the stage. He didn’t dare make eye contact with her, eyes glued to the table as he struggled in his seat.

“Yes, everything’s great” you answered in lieu of his silence, cheery tone in your voice.

_No… no it’s not, God I’m gonna cum in front of this waitress if… huh?_

Suddenly, there’s relief. Well, a type of it at least.

In that moment your foot fell away from his groin, ceasing it’s relentless attack on his cock. The heat is still very much there, throbbing but at a stalemate. Suddenly there isn’t as much of an urgency anymore, the threat of humiliation stopped in it’s tracks.

“Although, my boyfriend isn’t feeling so great at the moment” you feigned an upset look, dampening your smile“Could we possibly get some boxes for our food?”

“Aw, I’m sorry to hear that” when he chanced a subtle glance up at the waitress he found not disgust but genuine sympathy as she looked down at him. “I’ll be right back with your boxes and the check”  

You bid the waitress thanks as she went on her way, then turned to your boyfriend sitting across from you with a wry smile. He felt something like a hot shiver crawl up his body, shocking his system in a way that almost out rivaled the manic limbo he’d been in moments ago.

“That was very good, Shuichi~” you praised, folding your hands underneath your chin. “You’ll be getting one more present when we get home~”

He gulped back the ball of moans sitting in his throat, feeling his tongue start to salivate at the prospect you laid out before him.

After all this… what could you possibly have waiting for him at home?

\--------

Boxes of food laid forgotten at the door, the contents somehow not all over the floor, but left to be inconsequential nonetheless.

Practically the second you walked in, Shuichi wrapped his arms around you, needy and breathless. The wait for the waitress to return, the train ride where you had continued to verbally tease him, whispering dirty words in his ear at the back of the car - it had all become too much at some point. He needed release like plants needed sunlight, he needed this heat to be satiated - he needed you.

“I can’t wait any longer… you’ve been teasing me so much…” he whined into your ear, beseeching you to finish what you started.

You hummed, unlacing his arms from around you and leading him to the couch. “Sit down, sweetheart”

The task of which you commanded of him was one easily achieved as he barely had the energy to keep himself standing as it was. He practically collapsed onto the couch once he got close enough, body limp from too much expended energy, unlike another part of him.

You hovered over him, undoing his pants as well as his undergarments and he let you. He let you pull both articles of clothes off of his body and toss them somewhere about the room. His face grew hot as your eyes trained on his erect cock, taking in the sight with sensual delight as your tongue ran over your lips.

“Mm, so hard~” you teased, bending down to press a kiss to the head. It was embarrassing how even that small bit of contact managed to make him jump. So when you engulfed him fully, mouth reaching the base of his cock in one go, there was no way he could contain the pitchy moan that had been lingering in his throat for some time. His hips arched up into your mouth as a slew of panted praises fell from his lips.

“A-Ah! Y-Yes, that’s so good! Y...You’re so good at this!”

He was lost to time. All that existed in this moment was you and him and the wonderful things you were doing to him. Your tongue felt so good, swirling against his flesh, over the tip of his cock as you came back up to indulge it. The warm cavern of your mouth pulled him in so well, sucking around him in a way that made his fingers curl into the couch cushions for any kind of purchase. He felt like he could lose his mind and be happy with it.

All of that was to say - it wasn’t a surprise that he didn’t last long. A strong, suction cup like feeling of your lips around the head of his cock sent him bursting onto your tongue, as well as it sent stars bursting behind his eyelids. He let out a loud moan, his voice cracking around the curve of it’s height as his hips lunged up and then slowly settled back down as he soaked in the afterglow of his orgasm.

You popped off of him with a giggle, cum dripping from your lips. You met his hazy gaze with your own sly, half lidded one and let him have a taste of himself. He wrapped heavy, lazy arms around you, pulling you closer to him, craving your gentle affection. He kept you there, loosely ensnared in his neediness and his equally needy yet languid kisses.

“Mm” you hummed against his lips. “You’re so” -soft, feather light kisses- “cute” -pecks, the gentlest of them- “like this”

Shuichi sighed against your mouth, dreamy and drunk off of this moment. Sensitive and soft and absolutely melting into your arms.

“Think you still have it in you for your actual surprise?” you murmured after a momentary lapse in his kissing spree.

Something blinked inside of his mind, like a lightbulb going off as he just barely managed to pull himself together to remind himself of the promise you had made at dinner. As great as it was, sucking him off wasn’t exactly anything new to your sex life and by the tone in your voice you had definitely meant to stir things up.

Which in turn, stirred him up.

“Mm...I think so” he murmured.  His limbs said otherwise but his highschool-boy-brain fought them off. He was far too curious to let fatigue keep him from whatever you had planned.

“You sure, babe?” you asked once more.

“Yes…” he breathed. “Do whatever you want to me…” the look of hopeful sincerity in his eyes was enough for you.

You gently ordered him on his knees, still on the couch, and to stick his ass up in the air.

“Oh man, now that's a view I need more of” you purred, causing Shuichi to whine just the smallest bit in fluster. “Relax baby, it's a compliment”

Sure it wasn't as though you hadn't seen him completely naked before, but this particular angle was new and he felt a bit bashful about it.

Shuichi noisily hears you sucking on something from behind him and before he can crane his neck to figure out what it is, you grace him with an answer. He feels your moistened fingers slide over the swell of his asscheeks, caressing them in their entirety before you circulated towards what was in their center. You ran a finger over Shuichi’s puckered hole, jolting his entire body, before you slipped it inside.

“A-Ah! Wh… what are you doing?” he moaned out, both confused and aroused by the sensation of your finger in such profoundly new territory.

“Prepping you” you answered simply, thrusting your finger slowly inside of his tight, little hole.

“Ah!” he felt his knees grow weak as he fell forwards onto the couch, further lifting his ass up to meet your gaze. He just… he didn’t know what to do with this! It felt so odd yet so good to have something like your finger inside of his ass. He almost protested but couldn’t find the words, his heightened sensitivity keeping him weak to this strange feeling.

Though he found that the more you thrusted, the full feeling he got from your fingers in his tight hole, the more he fell into the pleasure, the more the unease started to fall away. Then you added a second finger, stretching him. As you felt about inside of him, thrusting in and out, he buried his face into the couch cushions, stifling a loud moan in the fabric. He’d had his reservations about this in the beginning but it had grown to be something he just couldn’t deny. There was just something about having you explore such a place, having your fingers pulsating inside him, it just felt so good!

“Like it, birthday boy?” you called from behind him, keeping steady pace with your thrusting.

“Y-Yes!” he sucked in a breath, fingers curling into the couch cushions evermore. He could feel his heated blood slowly rushing back to inflate his once soft cock.

“Want more?”

The question jumbled around in his brain. More? More of what? More fingers? Your tongue?

“M-More?” his thoughts echoed out into the open.

“Mm, maybe I’ll just show you. Then you’ll get the idea” you responded to his confusion.

You withdrew your fingers from him then, leaving him uncomfortably hollow before you swept into your room. You were in there for some time but Shuichi hadn’t found the will to move from his position, as though he were hexxed to stay that way forever, ass in the air. Or maybe it was the excitement of the unknown, unaware of what ‘more’ meant and perhaps he welcomed that, in not moving from his position.

When your door did open again and he got a full look at you his lungs seized behind his ribcage.

“This is what I meant by ‘more’, darling” you husked, brandishing a slick cock now hoisted around your hips.

The moment he saw it, all he could think about was it being inside him, of you fucking him senseless with it. It was like something clicked into place, like everything made sense.

He wanted you to take him, to make him yours entirely, to use him as your own personal fucktoy if you so pleased. It was quite amusing really, to think he had been so touchy about your fingers in his ass but the moment the prospect of you _fucking_ him in the ass came to fruition, he drooled at the idea.

You took his chin in your hand, beckoning his eyes to meet yours as they had not left the toy since you came out. “Is this something you want, Shuichi?” you leaned in closer to him, husky and dominating. “Do you want me to fuck you senseless with this cock?”

Every part of him shivered and squirmed with anticipated delight, your dirty words making his lips tremble out a whine. “Y-Yes… oh, please… please take me…”

That was as far as you needed but you pressed a gentle kiss to his lips nonetheless, assuring him that the softest bits of yourself that you’d saved just for him were still there. That you wouldn’t be cruel and if he so desired, just one word would make you stop.

But when you climbed behind him, slapping your cock against his tight hole for good measure, and then slowly, ever so gently, eased inside of him - he was gone.

The stretching was, undoubtedly painful, but you had been gentle and well prepared - having lubricated the toy before you left the room - so that when the initial pain passed all Shuichi could do was moan as you gripped his hips tight in your hands and thrusted deep into him, slow and steady to start with.

He cried out with abandon, limp against the couch with his fingers still curled into it as you pounded into him, every thrust spiraling him farther and farther down this winding road of bliss. He could feel everything, the heat, the way you filled up his ass and fucked him into the couch. Oh God and he was helpless to it, completely lost in it. He wanted you to take him over and over again, to pound into him to your heart’s content as he laid sprawled over the cushions, weak and entirely at the whims of this swirling pool of desire.

“Hah! Ah! Faster! [Name] please!” his voice came out in desperate, pleading moans as he beseeched you to increase your pace. His hips rocked back into you, meeting your thrusts as he craved and lusted after the feeling of you getting deeper and deeper inside of him.

_Oh my God… I can’t take much more of this! It’s so good, I feel like I’m going to faint!_

True to the thoughts in his mind, he could feel that coil in his stomach tighten, unbearably so. He needed more, his sensitive body needed this release, needed you to bring him to it.

He cried out your name. “I-I’m so close…! Please, please harder!” he could feel the drool dripping out of his mouth every time he opened it to speak but he didn’t care. He just needed you, needed you more and more and more until all he could breathe was you.

“Mm, me too baby” you crooned, voice strained from the knockback of the toy into your pussy, fulfilling within you the same pleasure your boyfriend was lost in.

With the last bits of your energy, spurred on by the collective need to orgasm, you bucked into him, hard and full. All it took was one in the perfect angle and the both of you succumbed to the unwinding of the heat in your stomachs.

Shuichi let out a cry as his hips stuttered, cum spilling out onto the cushions below him. His body collapsed onto the couch, spent, sensitive and exhausted but pleasantly in a way he had never known before. He breathed deep and long, chest heaving underneath him as his lips unendingly spoke out sweet words of love and praise for you.

“That was amazing… you’re so good… beautiful… wonderful…” at some point he forgot how to shut off his mumbling mouth, brain rampant in exposing his inner thoughts in the afterglow.

It took your lips on his, your body craned over his, to shut him up and even then the half lidded, lovestruck look in his eyes said more than you ever needed to hear. He looked at you like you were gospel, like you were the only thing he ever needed to see again and as far as he was concerned you were.

You eased the strap on out of him and then out of you before collapsing on the couch next to him, knees just as weak and weary as his.

“Happy birthday, Shuichi” you smiled, eyes full of love as you pulled him into your body.

He reacted instantly, fitting himself in the little nooks of you that might as well have been made to fit him specifically. He curled up against you, nose in the crook of your neck as his arms circled around you. The two of you fell asleep like that, high on the afterglow and safe in each other’s arms.

  


It certainly was… a happy birthday, indeed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE PEGGING CHAPTER IS FINALLY HERE, YAS GAWD. 
> 
> Originally this was literally /just/ supposed to be /the/ pegging chapter and it was ten times shorter than this. BUT one of you lovely people who comment on my things and make me happy - I believe it was mikancries (thank you) - alerted me to the fact that Shuichi's birthday is today! So I went ahead and made it birthday themed and also tied up a plot point I wasn't getting to until later so I think that's some lit ass progress right there. 
> 
> I'm sorry if it's rushed in some places, I went back over some of the parts I skimmed to flesh it out more but if I for some reason missed something and it seems like weird or incomplete I apologize. I was just dead set on getting this out today because I've never really done a tribute to a character on their actual day, y'know? Hopefully that didn't impede my writing. 
> 
> Anyway, as always if you liked this please let me know! Comments feed my dying but immortal soul and I appreciate every single one. Thank you guys for sticking with this story so far! 
> 
> Have a beautiful Shuichi day!


	10. Something Uncovered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi has been living with you happily in your home without many problems. Each morning feels gloriously better than the next one, especially as the days count down to your inevitable graduation. 
> 
> But, it can't all be wonderful can it? 
> 
> Not with your mother calling, anyway...

The passing of time, for once, felt less like an endless tunnel spinning slowly towards the inevitable end and more like just a thing that happened naturally. When the sun rose and then eventually made room for the moon, it didn't feel like the cycle was just a waste of beauty. Days spent with you gave the cycle new meaning, new perspective, especially as you went about your mornings and afternoons in blissful harmony. There was always one of you ready with breakfast and the couch remained a familiar space for cuddling and unwinding from a long day spent apart. 

Shuichi found it strange how easily he fell into it, how easily he accepted it.  Of course, there would always be this soft fear in the pit of his ribcage, one that often tortured him with the idea that this would all crumble to cinders. However, it would seem that as anxiously as he awoke with that thought, it was one that was just as easily snuffed out at the beginning of each day with your sweet kiss.

There were no more bruises - well, mostly but the hickies on his neck were no cause for alarm - and there was no more yelling, no more screaming. Just the soft sound of birdsong and your melodic laughter, teasing or otherwise. It was like he had found a whole new world, perhaps one he was always meant to be apart of, the one he was meant to find. It was strange to think that after all this time of being separated from the world and his place in it, that he would come to find it so easily within your home.

Although, as much as he'd like to believe everything was at peace, perfect with just the two of you - he certainly noticed the unspoken tension in the house.

It came in the absence of figures who should've been caring for you. It came in phone calls, sour toned words passed through speakers and you'd be stupid to think Shuichi didn't notice how crooked your smile was after every call ended.

He had no idea who it was the first time, all he knew was that the person on the other end must've pissed you off as you practically slammed the phone back into the receiver. He heard you mutter something underneath your breath but couldn't quite make out what it was.

Carefully, he opened his mouth to inquire who was on the other end. “Who was that?”

“My  _ mother _ ” you sneered, causing Shuichi to shrink ever so slightly. You had only spoken of your mother every so often but whenever you did it was always with a tone of disdain.

“Oh? Wh… what did she say?”

“Just canceling another visit to come see me. The usual” he could see the cracks in your sneer, the pain in your eyes. Angry as you may have been, he could see the hurt too, bubbling just underneath the surface.

_ Oh… that's terrible… _

“She does this often?” he asked, in need of further clarification.

“Yeah. She visits maybe once or twice a year and cancels all the other planned visits”

So this was the information he'd been missing - or at least, it was part of it. The reason you were so sour whenever your mother was brought up.

_ “ _ I'm sorry to hear that darling…”

“It's…” you sighed, softening your voice as you heard the concern in your boyfriend's voice, the slight tremble at your anger. “It's alright, I'm used to it”

He didn't say anything else but instead substituted words for actions as he laced his arms around you from behind. He held you loosely, should you want to pull away, but you only rested your hands on his.

“Thanks…”

That was the first time he had ever seen you so sad, so vulnerable, and a part of him broke apart to see you like that.

Your mother called a few times after that, never to reschedule that missed visit, or any missed visits for that matter but instead to talk about her business and make sure you were doing alright in school and that you had food in the house.

One particular time, she had called during dinner, and Shuichi got to witness the full extent of why you were so at odds with her.

She started off with the normal routine. Asking about school, food, your general well being.

“Yeah, same as it's always been” you answered plainly, poking at the plate of steak in front of you. Your mouth was drawn into a lazy frown and your hooded eyes conveyed your disinterest in the conversation far too well.

Given you had left the call on speaker phone so that you and Shuichi could eat dinner, he got to hear your mother's reaction loud and clear.

“That's good, dear! I'm so glad to hear it!” a bubbly, excited voice filtered out of the speakers, completely unfettered by your tone. “It’s so funny, I was just thinking about how you've been such a responsible adult all these years! You must've gotten that from me, don't you think?”

He could practically  _ feel _ the grit of your teeth.

“I mean… I wasn't exactly given a choice when you went off to start your business so I guess you could say that”

He could feel the weight of such a statement hang heavy in his heart.

“Oh, dear don't be so fresh now. Had I not ventured off to start this new company you wouldn't be living so lavishly! Isn't it wonderful to not worry about money? To know there's always going to be food on the table and a roof over your head?”

“I mean that's great and all but I would've liked to have my mom here, you know?” he could swear he heard the soft choke of a sob somewhere in the jagged cage your throat had become.. “It's not exactly easy figuring out how to do everything by yourself all of the sudden”  

“Oh honey, I've always been there. Whenever you had questions I was there to answer them! And besides, now you're more prepared for when you have to strike out on your own! I know it's been tough but we've made the best of it”

Shuichi actually felt… sick, listening to this conversation. He could see that jagged cage in your throat beckoning to break free, to let all hell loose but that visible gulp you swallowed back stopped you from doing so. You choked down all the words sitting there, the ones you deemed useless in the end.

“Yeah… sure, I guess we have” you sighed, looking down at your plate of food. Clearly, there was no point in arguing any further. “Anyway, I have to go. Food's getting cold”

“Of course dear! Enjoy your meal!”

“Yep. See ya”

_ Click. _

A silence spreads out into the room; one that is so deafening and so unbearable that it twists inside of his throat, and fills it up to the point where he can't bare to speak.

Thankfully, you did instead.

“Sorry you had to hear all that”

You smiled but it was broken, chipped at the edges. “I didn't know she was going to go on like that. Usually she spends dinner talking about her rising sales and the current dick she's riding”

You laughed, or at least tried to, but the animosity behind it made it sound far more strained and spiteful.

“It's alright, really” he finally found the nerve to make space in his throat. “I just… wasn't quite expecting that. I knew you were at odds with her but I didn't know she was so dismissive…”

“The worst part, is that she wasn't always like that”

He crooked an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah. She used to be really attentive when I was younger. Then my dad died and she went off to start a new job to keep us afloat. That was around the time she started to have less and less energy for me”

He noticed the softness in your eyes, the sad nostalgia clouding your vision. It was a look he'd worn often in the past.

“Then she somehow wound up becoming the CEO when the old one retired. It was kind of a blessing for us at the time but... she got so wrapped up in it that I think she forgot being a mom meant more than monetary provisions….”

You looked down at the table once more, at your untouched food, however clearly not focused on it. You seemed to just want to look anywhere else but at him, uncomfortable in revealing your story.

“I've kind of been alone since then. I didn't really have any friends then either so it was… tough. And after awhile I stopped trying to get people to like me. Turned into kind of an asshole actually…” you said it with such a broken laugh that Shuichi could feel his heart rattle in empathy.

But then, you looked at him, a wetness in your eyes, and a look of adoration crinkling in the corners of your face, despite all the pain.. A look that made him swallow his breath and hold it, trapping him a state of awe.

“Then you came along” a softer, sweeter tone ran over your tongue. “I had no idea what you wanted at first and all the stalking was a little unnerving in the beginning”

Even though it was a fair statement Shuichi could still feel his face heat up in a frenzy. “I'm still… really sorry about that…”

“It's alright… it's really kind of fucked up to admit it but I liked it after a while” you chuckled, sheepish but honest. “I really was curious what you wanted with me. Were you interested because we were both outcasts in a way? Did you think that I could protect you? Did you like how abrasive I was? I couldn't figure it out…”

You paused, took a shaky breath then continued.

“And after all this time… I  still can't… I still can't understand why you're here… why you wanted to stay. Everyone usually leaves by now… forgets or chooses to ignore me…”

He could see your hands shaking. Your whole body starting to tremble gently. You pursed your lips, trying to gather yourself, but he could hear the sniffles and the ball in the back of your throat.

“I don't blame them… not really but… I just… I don't want to be alone… anymore…”

In a moment of absolute resilience, the culmination of everything his heart felt for you burst forth in a moment of understanding and passion. He reached a hand out to yours and squeezed tightly.

“I could never leave you”

The unfettered determination with which he said it caught you off guard, your eyes widening in pure shock to see him so steady in his stance.

“Wh… why? I know I took you away from your uncle but… what else have I really done? Why do you want to be with me?”

He swallowed a breath, deciding that now was the time.

“At first it… was something of a fascination. You were so strong and unbothered by everything but you didn't pick at people weaker than you. You were like… this light I desperately needed in my life. I don't know if it was love then, it felt like it but… then we spent more time together. You were there for me when no one else was. You invited me into your home and cared about me even though you didn't have to. And now, after all of that, I can say for certain that the reason I couldn't ever leave you is because…”

He felt his chest tighten, his legs turned weak and he could feel the cold sweat on the back of his neck as his cheeks grew a vibrant red. But even through all of the nerves, all of the blaze of emotion he knew what he had to say - what he  _ needed _ to say.

He looked into your eyes, connected every bit of himself to you through his gaze. It was intense and passionate but overwhelmingly sweet with that blush searing over his cheeks.

He parted his lips once more and shared a secret with you.

“I love you, [Name]. I know that now”

All he could hope, as the truth finally came spilling out, was that you might accept his feelings and maybe….

 

Even return them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Long time no update! 
> 
> I'm so sorry that it's taken me such a long time to get an update out but the truth of the matter is that I just wasn't inspired. I knew how this story was going to end and it is ending in very much the same way but I lost any kind of drive to finish it. I started to feel like I shouldn't even have written this story in the first place and should have just left it in the back of my head where it was because I started to feel just /so bad/ about it. 
> 
> But the weeks went on and I realized that this wasn't meant to be an inspirational or moving piece. It's literally something that lived at the back of my mind and I wanted to entertain it, even if it is horrible. And so many of you seemed to like it as well so I wanted to give it a proper ending. 
> 
> So that's what I've been doing! The whole thing is written and finished and I'll be posting all of the chapters today so if you don't see anything in the notes over the next few chapters that's why. Thank you all so much for your patience and love it means the world to me!


	11. Proof of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi finally admitted his feelings, finally had the nerve. 
> 
> Now all he needed, was your reply....

Shuichi got his answer. 

He got it as wide eyes searched his own, desperately looking for a punchline but praying that there wasn't one. 

“Really…?” 

He nodded his head, slow and definitive.

You looked down at the table, taking it in. Then, in the next moment, you pushed yourself off of your chair and circled around to meet him at his. You took his face in your hands. You were far more gentle than you had ever been, holding him like a priceless vase, but somehow there was far more heat than there had ever been before.

It was the same when you kissed him.

He felt himself fall into it, like he had so many times before, and yet it felt so different. This felt like kissing the night sky, like every star burned it's heat into his insides, igniting within him this feeling of floating, of absolute perfection. His hands rested on yours, holding them to his face as your lips molded against his, pressing and pushing against him in a sweet dance. It was a waltz you stayed in for what felt like blissful eternity.

When you pulled away he was breathless, staring at you with lidded eyes and a heart so full of emotion. 

And then you actually took his breath away.

“I love you too, by the way” the gentle chuckle that followed those words sent a riveting spark of electricity through his entire being. 

“Mm… I'd hoped so, after that… hehe” he chuckled something airy, sheepish and overwhelmed but so very giddy.

“Well, your hopes have been fulfilled” and you smiled, giggling softly before pulling him in for another kiss. 

This time, his arms wrapped around your neck, pulling you into him, close, so he could feel you against him. You took that opportunity to do something more. You hooked your arms underneath his legs and pulled him into you, carrying him like a bride. His squeak muffled into your mouth, both when you picked him up and settled him back down on the couch.

You hovered over him just so, straddling his waist as he lay back against the cushions. His lips were still locked with yours, arms remaining around your neck. His eyes slipped closed as the heat enrapturing the both of you grew, louder and warmer as every moment passed. He knew this feeling, knew it well, but this time it was different. He could feel how important this was, how truly intimate this moment was. 

You pulled away from him then, looking gently into his eyes. 

“Shuichi… you have to be the best thing that's ever happened to me” 

His heart swelled, to the point he thought it might just explode. 

“You're so cute- ” a kiss to his cheek.

“- and sweet -” a kiss to his other cheek. 

“ - and patient -” one to his forehead. 

“ - and I'm just so -” one to his nose.

“- happy, that you gave me a chance. That you were willing to see someone no one else saw” you were looking into his eyes again, passionate adoration swirling in your gaze. 

It took every ounce of him not to faint right there, out of sheer bliss. “I… feel the same way. You gave me a chance despite everything…” 

“What can I say? You're just too irresistible” you nuzzled your nose against his as the both of you laughed in the moment. 

“Is that why you're on top of me, right now?” he teased, a rarity for him but it was a comeback you welcomed.

“It caaan be” you sang, wiggling your eyebrows. “If, that's what you want” 

He looked at you for a moment, somehow shy but full of resolve, before sealing his answer in a kiss. 

“I see…” you hummed as he settled beneath you once more. “I won't keep you waiting” 

Everything that happened next felt like a whirlwind of fire. Everything felt different, closer.

Your hands roamed every part of him, gripping fervently at delicate areas all the while keeping your mouth flush against his. His hands, in the beginning, stayed wrapped around your neck, clutching onto any bit of reality he could find. He could feel the love in this kiss, in every bit of your touch. How the fire between you burned differently than before. He could taste your heart on the tip of your tongue as it swirled against his. It left him aching for more, to know more of what this insatiable flame was. All he wanted was to be close to you, flush and underneath your fingertips as you shared with him all the warmth you had to give. 

Soon his hands joined yours in a frenzy as they searched over your body, groping and pinching at the soft, silky skin of your breasts and reveling in the low, husky moan he drew out of you. You were always the one to make him feel like heaven was a moment in time, shared between the both of you. If he could give any part of that back, he would. Especially now as the two of you could completely express yourselves. 

Soon, as your fingers found his cock, his found your clit. Despite the shudders wracking his body and the pitchy, whiny moans that were swallowed up by your mouth he managed to keep pace with you, spurred on by the gasps of air and the groans that you hummed into his mouth. He kept a steady rhythm, fingers swirling over your soaked button faster and faster, keeping time with your skilled, fervent stroking of his cock. 

“Oh-hh yes, right there, good boy” you panted, suddenly gripping around the head of his cock and giving it a purposeful squeeze.

“Ah-aa! [N-Name]!” he moaned, free hand curled into the edge of a pillow. 

The two of you were inching closer and closer to the edge, lost in the pleasure of each other's ministrations, of each other's accepted love for the other. The coil was bending, so ready to unwind.

But, even so, there was only one way you both wanted this to end. 

Shuichi’s sealed eyes popped open as he felt the loss of your hand on his cock, whimpering the smallest bit as the pressure stayed trapped inside of him, begging to be released. 

“Wh-why did you stop?” he pleaded, chest heaving as you pulled yourself away from his hand.

“Because,” you breathed, a cheeky smile on your face as you lifted up your hips, hovering over his hardened cock. 

Shuichi gaped at the sight of your soaking pussy hovering merely inches from him. In all your time together he hadn't yet gotten to know what the inside of you felt like. How your tightness would constrict around him, pull him in so deep, only to deliver him to the sweetest ecstasy he could imagine. Oh, to be inside of you was a thing he'd long been waiting for. 

“I think this is what we both want, yeah?” you whispered, a cheeky yet soft smile on your face.

There were no words to describe how much he wanted this, how much he wanted to feel you around him. To be apart of you in such a way. 

He watched you with baited breath as you slowly, ever so agonizingly, eased down onto his length, never breaking eye contact with him. 

That first spark as his tip pushed through your entrance was enough to make him fling his head back but the feeling of utter jubilation that coursed through him as he filled you to the hilt was unmatched. 

“Oh-oh my God! [N-Name]!” he moaned, loud and bothered as you sunk down to his hips. “You're so tight! S-So hot! So...good!”

Then you started moving, riding him, and Shuichi came undone. He reached for your hand, gripping onto it with such purpose as you swiveled your hips and bounced on his cock. The friction, the sinuously suffocating feeling of your walls pulling him in, tightening around him - he could barely handle it. 

The fact that this was you - he was with you like this, was something his mind couldn't quite wrap around. The fact that you two were in love - making love to one another was something so sweet he could barely believe it was real. But it was. He could feel it all, you, this moment, the love in his heart. 

All at once he could feel that coil loosening, everything was coming undone.

“Haah, [N-Name], I can't…!” 

“Then cum” you panted. “Cum with… me!” 

At your command it all bubbled to a head. 

Shuichi felt himself let go, that coil unwinding and exploding inside of you. 

He felt the glorious way in which your walls closed in around him, milking him for all he was worth. He saw stars behind his eyes and for a moment he could've been convinced he saw heaven itself as his limp body slunk into the cushions. But when he opened his eyes again, his reality was sweeter than heaven could ever be. 

Your cheeks were red and your chest heaved as you came down from your high, still settled on his hips. You looked like you were glowing. What a sight to behold, a picture of beauty, he thought. He couldn't help but feel some type of pride for having a hand in creating that expression on your face. 

You noticed his staring soon enough, as you regained some hold on reality. You smiled at him then, through the haze of the afterglow. 

“Hehe… hey there…” 

The subtle show of bashfulness melted his heart.

“Hey…” 

You giggled softly, leaning down. You let your body rest on top of his as you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck. 

“Shuichi..?” your voice was soft, dreamy almost.

“Yes….?”

“I love you. I really do…” 

He was certain you could feel the way his heart slipped a beat, the way it thundered in his chest.

“I love you too… so much…” 

 

...and there wasn't a thing that could stop him from it.


	12. Runaways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That night sealed the two of you together forever. 
> 
> And as graduation day swiftly fell upon you, that unspoken promise would be ignited.

After that night the two of you were inseparable.

You had grown to be that way over the past few months but this had been something special. The realization of the love you both shared for each other, culminating in such an intense, fiery moment was like a binding contract both of you had been all too willing to sign.

The pages turned far more quickly after that, racing down the hill to graduation day.

You could've been upset that your mother had once again bailed on what was supposed to have been a pivotal moment in your life, and you were in some respects. But, somehow the idea of freedom from the chains of high school kept you a bit lighter, especially knowing you had Shuichi at your side. He, in turn, felt much the same way and once the ceremony was over the two of you bounded out of the linoleum halls, hand in hand. Never to be seen again-

-as Shuichi would soon find out.

The two of you found yourselves in a park, somewhere close to dusk. The sun had almost completely disappeared behind the city and the moon was eagerly rising into the sky. You laid down amidst a patch of grass, stomachs full from a well deserved dinner. The two of you curled into each other, hand in hand as you looked up at the changing canvas above you.

“I can't believe it's over. All these years and I thought it might never end…” Shuichi sighed, squeezing your hand.

“Well, believe it, babe. We're free” you chuckled, curling your fingers into his hair.

“I know. It's amazing” he breathed, leaning into your touch.

“Buuut” you hummed, grabbing his gut’s attention as it twisted ever so at the verbal wrench you three into the peace. He knew that tone, and it usually wasn't a pleasant one.

“What are we going to do now?”

Ah, yes. Definitely not pleasant.

“I don't think either of us we're really set on college, yeah? Although, with your grades I'm sure you'd be fine”

It was true that Shuichi had graduated with exceptionally high marks despite everything, but it was also true that he didn't plan on going to college. Maybe that was foolish of him, granted he knew he could pass and get a degree fairly easily but for once he wanted to do something for himself, plan out his own future. One that involved you.

“Not… exactly. I know it would be the smart thing to do but I just… can't bring myself to want to do it”

“That's fine, I was just curious, baby”

Shuichi crooked his head up to look at you. “What about you? Do you have any plans?”

“Well,” that wry smile that slipped onto your face spoke a thousand words. “I had something in mind for the both of us. But it's a bit out there so I wanted to hear your thoughts first”

Now thoroughly intrigued, Shuichi sat up, at attention. “What is it?”

Your smile transformed, growing into a grin and you launched yourself up to meet Shuichi's gaze. You hovered your face close to his, searching his eyes with your own.

“Let's leave” you breathed.

His heart jumped in his chest.

“I've been counting my savings and we'd have plenty to travel around with. I'll tell mom I'm taking time to ‘find myself’ so if we get low on cash we can always come back”

“Wait but, where would we even go?”

“Anywhere! Anywhere that isn't here! We could travel the country, go where no one knows us”

“Where would we stay?”

“Hotels, camp, hell we can sleep on the bus”

His thoughtful silence only spurred you onward. You took him gently by the arms and looked ever deeper into his unsure eyes.

“C'mon Shuichi, it'll be an adventure! It's out of this town! No one would ever find us! We could be new people!”

He took a moment, thinking, wanting and battling with them both - the rational and irrational.

“You've really thought this through, huh?”

Something like a sparkle shined in your eyes. “Of course. I've been thinking about it for a while now”

You had? It was a wonder he never noticed but… it wasn't like he hadn't thought the same thing before. A new chapter, new faces, new places. Somewhere no one knew you. This town could become an old memory, the ghost of his past as he looked forward to the future.

So really, there could only be one answer.

 

 

“Let's do it”


	13. Long Roads [Epilogue]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Shuichi head off to travel the country, far away from the hometown you grew up in. Far away from the hurt, the memories. Looking to start over, together.

A week after that you left.

You packed everything and told your mom about your plans to “rediscover yourself” and she, unsurprisingly, encouraged you to take it and even more so endorsed your choice to travel. She had always been one for “indulging the spirit” so you knew something like this wouldn't be too hard to get her to agree to.

Your mom's approval and even some extra spending money in the bag, you made your move and left town.

The two of you started small, traveling nearby to the next city over. Steadily, as the days waned on the distance grew longer. You spent nights curled up together on a travel bus, nights disturbing your neighbors in hotel rooms because Shuichi never quite learned how to orgasm quietly.

You danced under street lights and pulled each other along busy sidewalks. You fed each other new foods and met new people. It was… exhilarating to meet a new couple that eagerly wanted to show you around, to take you to dinner and at the end of the night, see you to your next bus.

After a short time Shuichi started writing about it, his love of detective novels having given him a soft spot for written word.

He wrote about the hands held underneath monuments and kisses shared in the rain as you got lost in new cities. Neither of you had ever been one for clubs, but you went to a few along the way, and he wrote about those too. How the two of you would drink until late in the night, bubbly and far too affectionate with each other for any public space. Only to stumble back to a shady motel that might as well have been a mansion in your drunken haze. The details were always hard to make sense of in the morning, but a little embellishment never hurt anyone.

Time went on, and he wrote about it all.

The year was surreal and Shuichi spent so much time learning about you, falling ever more in love with you. He felt like, after everything that had happened in his life, this must've been what all the hurt was for. This was his reward for never quite giving up, even when he had every reason to. You really were his angel, his everything.  It was… beautiful.

But beauty fades, after some time.

 ----------

 You stayed on the road as long as possible, well after a year, and as wonderful as the journey may have been the time came when the universe wanted the two of you to slow down. The truth was that after awhile you had started to run out of money and your mother grew tired of sponsoring a trip of “discovery” that seemed to be never ending.

_"Honey, I know this must be good for you, but you need to slow down. Find a boyfriend -” you never did tell her about Shuichi, after all “ - and get a job. I won't always be around to support you, you know?”_

For the first time ever, Shuichi heard you admit she was right.

“Besides, it'll be nice to be somewhere secure, yeah?” you smiled at him over a table inside a cute little cafe, in a small city you'd never heard of.

The both of you were wrapped up in warm coats, enjoying a coffee and talking about your future.

He returned your smile, mulling over the little delicacies that would come with having your own place, your own lives together. Oh, how it made his heart flutter. “Yeah. Yeah, I think that would be nice”

“Me too” you grinned back. “And mom said I could probably get a job at mostly any company she's affiliated with. We just have to pick a city that they're in. So at least we have a good foot in the door.”

“That's good. Although…” insecurity bit at the back of his neck. “I don't want you to be the only one working…”

“Well, I don't have to be. Once we settle in you can look for a job yourself” you gently assured him. “But I don't want you to rush, take your time”

You smiled in that teasing way, crooking the edge of your mouth. “After all I don't mind being the breadwinner. Especially if it means having you be my little wifey~ You can make me dinner and dote on me when I get home from work”

Shuichi nearly spit up his coffee. Blush searing over his cheeks.

“Wh-Who says I'm gonna do that?” he sputtered, hiding in his striped scarf. 

“Aww ” you pouted, feigning a hurt look as your voice rose in octaves and in bubbliness. “But I was really looking forward to iiit! I love your cooking and your cuddles”

You played up the baby voice to emphasize your want of his skills, if only to melt his already oozing heart even further.

“Alright, alright…” he sighed, catching a breath. “I'll cook as long as you help me with the chores”

He smiled then, soft and sweet. “Deal?”

You grinned as wide as you possibly could. “Deal!”

\-----------

Move in day came much quicker than the both of you were expecting but, all the same, it didn't take long for you to settle in. You had lived together once before after all and hotel hopping made for close living quarters - bus rides and tents even more so.

Within the month you had started working and Shuichi adjusted to taking care of the house while you were gone. He made dinner most nights and even got into a habit of getting up early to make you lunch. He fell into being “your little wifey”, as you so often called him, so easily it was almost annoying. But then, when his existence had become so simple, so easy and calm how could he be anything but content? He had returned to a routine that mimicked his old life, sure, but this time the person coming home to him was someone he loved and someone who loved him. It was altogether different than it used to be.

Shuichi no longer hid in his room, fearing for the front door to open. Now, he spent most days idling on the couch after all the chores were done, just waiting for you to come through the door. If he wasn't watching his favorite show, he was reading a detective novel.

_“You know, with as much as you read those novels, I bet you could write one” you said one day, as you hung up your coat after a long afternoon. “Heck,  I bet you could write the next Sherlock Holmes”_

_“Ah… you think so?” he never thought about that before._

_"Definitely! I read your journal about our year together after all. You've got a knack for the written word, sweetie”_

_A soft flush bloomed on his pale cheeks, still ever so gently flustered by your compliments after all these years. “I mean… I could. But shouldn't I be looking for a job? Rather than doing that?”_

_It had been a while since you moved in. Shuichi hadn't been able to find a job since then and it was something he felt rather insecure about. Sure, there was always grocery stores and fast food joints but he had wanted to bring in more than just minimum wage. You were working so hard, at something he knew you didn't particularly care for, and he wanted to be able to alleviate some stress off of you. Wasting his time writing wasn't going to get him any closer to doing that._

_“I told you there was no rush, babe. Besides if it takes off then you'll be in business!” ever the optimist, you spurred him on._

_Truthfully the idea was rather alluring to him…_

So, he picked up a pen and started writing. You had to ease him through his bouts of insecurity now and again, but overall he found that he became quite invested in his hobby over time. Idle days spent on the couch merely observing media turned into productive afternoons of creating media.

The story had began with just one soft spoken detective - Bastian - who, while clever, often needed help in being convicted to his deductions. This uncertainty about himself is eventually complimented by the abrasive nature of his future partner. An investigation leads him into the black market and back alleys wherein he finds said partner - Sam -  who is someone extremely versed in the operations going on in the underbelly of the city. Together, they team up to bring an end to a kidnapping cult hiding under the protection of the mafia. Along the way they grow together, fall in love and eventually solve the case.

“I really, really like this babe!” you praised, reading over the final, edited manuscript.

“You do?” he asked, shy smile adorning his face as he saw the gleam in your eyes.

“Definitely! It's so intriguing and I love the main characters! Bastian is my favorite, hehe” the knowing look you cast him was enough to set his cheeks ablaze.

“Ah, y-yeah?” he sputtered, flushing further, but definitely not because he based the character on himself. Which he didn't.

“I’d say Sam is my favorite…” he responded.

Sam had been a character  Shuichi thoroughly enjoyed writing, so much so that he often skipped to writing scenes they were in. Of course, it wasn’t because he based them off of you or anything. Definitely not, Sam was just a cool character. Even if his small, bashful smile told you another story.

“Yeah?” you smirked ever so softly. “Sam's good too. I feel like I really relate to them” the giggle you let out as you pressed a kiss to his cheek let him know he'd been caught.

“So, when are you sending it out? Did you find a publisher?”

“I was going to self publish first actually. Online.”

“Ooh! That's a great idea! Let me know when you put it up, I'll tell my co-workers to check it out!”

He kept that smile, heart full of so many emotions as he wrapped his hand in yours. “Thank you, dear”

Within the week Shuichi had uploaded his book to a hosting site. He kept his hopes low, so as not to crush his soul, as he knew things like this were always a hit or miss. Instead he left things to the universe, seeing where it might take him.

The turn it did take, however, was one completely unexpected.

\-------

Four months later Shuichi stood in the wide expanse of a two story building, you at his side. The shelves are lined, from one end of the store to the other, with books. The robust smell of coffee, brewing in a small cafe off in the corner, wafts throughout the entire building. He can't mistake the scent, even as he stood breath caught in his throat taking in the sight of the books on display.

There, in the middle of the shelf, are several copies of the book he'd released just months ago. They're sprawled across, for all to see.

“Look baby!” you quietly squealed, hugging onto his arm. “It's yours! You're right here!” you took care to keep your voice down for the sake of his anonymity, but your excitement still showed clear as day. Your eyes were sparkling and you wore a huge smile on your face.

“Yeah…” he breathed, still awestruck. “It is… it really is…”

“I told you that you could do it!”

You did. You had been encouraging him from the very beginning but faith in his own ability was something he didn't quite have. Even now, staring at his novel as it stared back at him, he could scarcely believe this was all real.

He felt… validated. Felt like even someone as useless as him finally had something to offer the world. You had always made him feel like something more than what he was but then, in that moment, it felt like the universe had accepted him too. Accepted him with you, accepted him into this world where he could be so much more than the past that haunted him.

Shuichi turned to you then, brave and boldly, pulled you into his arms and then pressed his lips against yours. He's passionate, arms secured around you and he lets the absolution of that moment soak into his soul. He allows himself to feel that moment, to accept that it's real. That you're real.

That it's all real.

And when that moment ends he stares into your eyes, full of all the love he always had for you. Full of the adoration he always had for you.

“I love you…”

_I love you so much. You are my world. My light. I don't know what I would've done without you._

“Thank you… thank you for everything…”

_None of this would have happened without you. You saved me, even when you didn't have to. Thank you. Thank you so much._

And when you smiled back, echoing the same feelings, the same passion, Shuichi knew with finality, that this was where he was meant to be. In your arms, wherever you were.

It all felt like some perfect ending to what began as a story with a hopeless preface.

But even as that chapter ended, his story with you spanned many more years. His popularity grew, the anonymity of his authorship a further lure for the masses. You found your place in the company you worked in, striving to make sure you produced only the best results in your career.

It wasn't always perfect, no story is, but any problems that arose were worked through and through the years the two of you grew more and more together.

 

 

Despite his love for detective stories and the mysteries surrounding them, Shuichi  would've rather told the story of the both of you a million times over, before the ones that made him famous. That, he knew for certain.

 

He knew it, even at the end of it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnd that's it!! Happy ending! 
> 
> Believe it or not I had always planned for it to end this way (more or less), my plan had just been over the span of a few more chapters but there's not much missing really. I realized I could wrap up this story a lot sooner and I figured that while I had the drive to do so, I should. I wanted to give at least one of my multi chapter stories a conclusive ending so here we are! 
> 
> I really hope you guys like it, I hope that it's a satisfying ending for everyone, I really tried to make it the best that I could after the dark beginning it had. I wished I had touched on Shuichi's love for detective novels throughout the story more, rather than Danganronpa, but that was actually a change I threw in at the end because I just wanted him to be happy and have a nice little job, rather than just being a stay at home boyfriend (which is what he was originally.)
> 
> But overall, I think I'm happy with this. I know I've definitely loved reading your guys comments on it, it's always made my day especially because most of you are so sweet and encouraging and at this point in my life I really need that, so thank you guys so much. 
> 
> I'm sure I'll be around writing more stuff in the future with the holidays coming up so I hope you'll continue to follow me and if not, thanks for sticking with this fic for so long, you're really a treasure. 
> 
> Have a wonderful day!
> 
> P.S. Oh! And if you guys have any questions about the fic, any plot holes I may have not cleared up feel free to ask! If I get enough maybe I'll make a Q+A to go along with this but if not I'll definitely try to respond to you guys in the comments! Thanks again so much!

**Author's Note:**

> I have been sitting on this for a long while and I am so excited to finally be writing it! This will probably be a 14-15 chapter story? I have most of it planned out already so that's what it's looking like. 
> 
> I hope you guys like smut because there's some in almost every chapter LOL
> 
> Let me know what you guys think!


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